Wedding Guests And The No-Gift Conundrum

When a wedding invitation says 'no gifts', it can mean a few things. It could be that the couple already has everything they need, or that they don't have the space for extra gifts. It could also mean that they would prefer cash gifts or donations to a charitable fund or honeymoon fund instead of physical gifts. When a couple says 'no gifts', it's important to respect their wishes and not show up with a gift. However, if you feel like you want to give something, you could consider contributing to their honeymoon fund or donating to a charity of their choice.

No boxed gifts

"No boxed gifts" is a phrase that is often used in Pakistani and Indian cultures, and can be seen on wedding invitations. It is a way of politely asking guests not to bring any physical gifts to the wedding, and instead, give money in an envelope. This is because, in these cultures, it is customary to give money as a wedding gift, to help the couple start their financial future together.

• "We intend to move to the East coast, so we kindly request no boxed gifts."
• "We kindly request no boxed gifts."
• "No boxed gifts, please."
• "We feel blessed enough that you're choosing to spend the day with us, so please, no boxed gifts."
• "We've lived together for so long and have everything we need for our home, so we kindly request no boxed gifts."

It is important to note that some guests may still want to give a physical gift, even if you have requested otherwise. In this case, it is recommended to offer alternatives, such as a money registry or charity option. You could also suggest that guests contribute to a honeymoon, house, sports ticket, or subscription service fund. This way, you can still receive money towards things you need or want, without the hassle of physical gifts.

Honeymoon fund

If you're looking for a polite way to ask for honeymoon fund contributions instead of gifts, here are some suggestions for wording to include with your wedding invitations.

"In Lieu of Gifts" Wording

A popular option is to use "in lieu of gifts" wording on your wedding invitations or website. This is a neutral phrase that usually fits any casual or formal invitation style. Here are some examples:

> As we prepare to embark on our new journey together, your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift we could ask for. However, if you would like to contribute to our special day, we have created a honeymoon fund instead of registering for traditional gifts. Your donation will help make our honeymoon unforgettable and create memories that will last a lifetime. To contribute, simply visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund]. Thank you for your love and support. We can’t wait to celebrate with you!

>

> With love and gratitude, [Your Names]

Poem Wording

If you want to get creative, you could ask for honeymoon fund contributions in the form of a poem. This approach might resonate more with your guests and make a bigger impression than a simple message. Here's an example:

> Roses are red; violets are blue,

> We can’t wait to share our big day with you!

> Afterward, we’ll be on the way,

> To our adventurous honeymoon getaway.

> There are ways to help us take flight,

> Have a spa day or a date night.

> Be a part of our first married trip,

> We’re so excited; we could flip!

>

> To contribute, simply visit [insert link to online honeymoon fund].

>

> With sincere appreciation, [Your Names]

Short Wording

If you prefer to keep your message short and sweet, here's an example of concise wording that will quickly get your point across:

> Our wedding wouldn’t be the same without your presence. However, when it comes to presents, please be aware that we would appreciate a donation towards our honeymoon fund in place of wedding gifts. To contribute, simply visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund]. With sincere appreciation, [Your Names]

Formal Wording

If you want to include more detail and personalisation, a formal message allows for this while still maintaining a polite tone. This type of wording may take up extra space on your invitations, so be sure to account for that in your design. Here's an example:

> We are excited to start our lives together, and we are thankful for our loved ones. As we enter our marriage, we realise that we have enough belongings. Therefore, we have decided to plan the honeymoon of our dreams. Our wedding registry includes a honeymoon fund along with personalised experiences — such as excursions, meals, and spa days — that can be given as wedding gifts. We are excited to share our special day with you, and we also look forward to providing glimpses into our honeymoon when we return. Thank you!

>

> To contribute, simply visit [insert link to your online honeymoon fund].

>

> With sincere appreciation, [Your Names]

Remember, it's generally considered a faux pas to include a "no gifts" message directly on your wedding invitation. Instead, include a separate insert card with your invitation suite that provides details about gifts. You can also direct guests to your wedding website or a specific page where they can find more information about your honeymoon fund and how to contribute.

House fund

If you're looking to ask for contributions to a house fund in your wedding invitations, it's important to be tactful and direct. Here are some suggestions for wording:

"We're so grateful for your generosity, but we kindly request that our guests do not bring gifts. We feel fortunate that you're spending this day with us." If you wish, you can add, "If you would like to contribute something, we would be grateful for any donations to our house fund."

"We've lived together for a while and have everything we need. So, we kindly request no boxed gifts. If you wish to contribute, we would appreciate donations to our house fund."

"We don't have room for many physical gifts in our home, so we kindly request that you contribute to our house fund instead."

"We already have a kettle, toaster, crockery, and other essentials. So, we would be grateful for contributions to our savings pot for a house."

"We don't need any physical gifts, but if you wish to contribute, we would appreciate donations to our house fund. We hope to buy a home together and your contribution would mean a lot to us."

It's recommended to include a card with your invitations that provides specific details about gifts. You can also direct guests to your wedding website, where you can include more information about your preferences. It's important to clearly communicate your wishes to avoid any confusion.

Charity donations

If you and your partner are fortunate enough to already have everything you need, you may wish to ask your wedding guests to donate to a charity of your choice instead of giving you a gift. This is becoming an increasingly popular option for couples who have been living together and already have all the household items they require.

The first step is to choose a charity that is meaningful to you as a couple. For example, you might select an organisation that helped a family member who was ill, or one that supports a cause you are passionate about, such as animal welfare or human rights. It's best to avoid anything too controversial or political, as this could cause division among your guests.

Next, you'll need to decide how to communicate your wishes to your guests. While it's not proper etiquette to mention charitable donations on your wedding invitations, you can include a card inserted with your invitation suite that directs guests to a wedding website with more information. You could also spread the word in person or ask your wedding party, friends, and family to help you get the message across.

• "Thank you for thinking of us during this celebratory time. We prefer our guests not to bring gifts, but if you would like to get us something, we would love it if you donated to [Charity's Name] in our name."
• "As we mentioned on our wedding website, no gifts please. But if you must, please donate to our cash fund in support of [Charity's Name]. Thank you!"
• "In lieu of gifts at our wedding, we kindly request you donate to [Charity's Name] in our name if you feel inclined."
• "Instead of traditional wedding gifts, we would greatly appreciate it if you contributed to our cash fund. For more information, please visit our wedding website."

Gift of money in a card

If you're looking for a way to politely inform your wedding guests that you would prefer money gifts, there are several ways to do so without being too direct. Here are some suggestions for wording your request:

"Your presence at our wedding is more important to us than a gift, but if you wish to contribute, we would appreciate money towards our honeymoon."

"We would prefer your presence rather than your presents! However, if you insist, money towards revamping our home would be greatly appreciated."

"While having you at our wedding is all that we wish for, contributions towards our future together will be cherished."

"As we already share a home, we have decided not to request physical wedding gifts. However, if you would like to mark our marriage with a gift, a monetary contribution towards our honeymoon would be more than appreciated."

"We have zero expectations for gifts. However, if you wish to give something, we suggest making a donation to a charity of your choice or contributing towards a kitchen table we have our eyes on."

"We are sending out this invitation with the hope that you will join our celebration. If you plan to send a gift, we kindly request money for our savings pot. But most importantly, we request that you turn up as our wedding guest."

When it comes to the amount of money to give as a wedding gift, there is no definitive rule, and it ultimately depends on your budget, relationship with the couple, and other factors. According to some sources, the average wedding gift amount ranges from $50 to $100, while others suggest an average range of $75 to $200. It's worth noting that the amount often increases if the couple is a close friend or family member. If you are attending the wedding with a date, $150 is generally considered appropriate.

Frequently asked questions