Wedding Invite Etiquette: Four Lines Or Fewer?

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a tricky business, and it's important to get it right to ensure your guests feel welcome on your big day. While it's becoming more common to use a single envelope for wedding invitations, some couples opt for both an inner and outer envelope. The outer envelope is more formal and typically includes titles, first, middle, and last names. The inner envelope is more informal and may include first names only. When addressing a married couple, it's best to include both names, and for unmarried couples, it's important to use separate lines for each person. Including children's names on the invitation? Be sure to specify whether they are invited, too.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it's important to consider the couple's preferences and feelings, especially if the couple might be sensitive to traditional gender norms.

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope is typically addressed using "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren". If you would like to include the wife's first name, you can write "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas and Michelle Warren". For the inner envelope, you can simply write "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names, e.g., "Thomas and Michelle".

However, many modern women may not appreciate having their names left out or being addressed solely by their husband's name. In such cases, it is appropriate to include the wife's name in the following format: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren" for the outer envelope. The inner envelope can then be addressed as "Mr. Warren and Mrs. Warren" or use their first names.

If you are inviting a same-sex couple with the same last name, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mr. Adam Smith" or "Mr. Adam Smith and Mr. Michael Smith" for the outer envelope. The inner envelope can then be addressed using their first names or one person's name followed by "and partner", e.g., "Adam and Michael" or "Adam and partner".

It's worth noting that wedding invitation etiquette has become less strict over time, and you can choose to forgo titles and use only first and last names if that suits your style and your guests' preferences.

Married Couple, Different Last Names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few general guidelines to follow. Firstly, it is recommended to put their names on the same line, especially if they have different last names. If the names are too long to fit on one line, it is acceptable to list them separately.

For a heterosexual couple, the woman's name is typically written first, followed by the man's name. However, if you are closer to one of them, you can list that person's name first or go in alphabetical order if you are equally close to both.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David"

If you prefer a more modern approach, you can choose to forgo titles and use only first and last names. Additionally, it is essential to respect your guests' preferences, so always double-check their preferred personal titles before finalising the invitations.

Married Couple, One Hyphenated Last Name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope is the more formal of the two and is the envelope that will be seen by the post office. The inner envelope is more informal and typically includes the invitees' names only.

For the outer envelope, you can address the couple as:

• "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Name]- [Hyphenated Last Name]"
• "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Ms. [Wife's Name] - [Hyphenated Last Name]"
• "The [Hyphenated Last Name] Family"

If the wife has chosen to hyphenate her last name, "Mrs." is not technically correct, so it is best to use "Ms." unless you know the wife's preference is "Mrs.".

For the inner envelope, you have more flexibility and can address the couple as:

• " [Husband's Name] and [Wife's Name]"
• "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Mrs/Ms. [Wife's Name]"
• "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Ms. [Wife's Name]"

If you are only using one envelope for the invitation, it is recommended to include the names of all invited guests on that envelope.

Unmarried Couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple, it's important to follow certain etiquette to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected. Here are some detailed guidelines for addressing invitations to unmarried couples:

Outer Envelope:

The outer envelope is typically more formal. When addressing an unmarried couple, write their full names, including titles, on separate lines. For example:

> Mr. Aaron Triguiero

> Mr. Gabriel Reyes

If the couple has different last names, list the person you are closest with first, or alphabetically by surname. You can also go by alphabetical order if you are equally close to both guests.

Inner Envelope:

The inner envelope is more informal, giving you some flexibility. You can include titles and surnames or just use first names. Here's an example:

> Mr. Triguiero

> Mr. Reyes

Or a more casual option:

> Aaron

> Gabriel

General Tips:

• It's essential to use the correct titles for your guests. If you're unsure, consider omitting titles altogether or checking with your guests about their preferred titles.
• When addressing an unmarried couple living at the same address, include both names on the same line for the outer envelope.
• For a more modern approach, you can forgo titles and use only first and last names on the outer envelope.
• If one person in the couple has a distinguished title, such as a doctor, lawyer, or military rank, list them first on the outer envelope.

Remember to double-check mailing addresses and give yourself enough time to assemble and send out the invitations.

Single Person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, the outer envelope should include their title and full name. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson". If the guest is an unmarried woman, use "Ms." unless she is younger than 18, in which case "Miss" is more appropriate. For a single male, use "Mr." unless he is younger than 18, in which case no title is necessary.

The inner envelope is more informal, and you have the option to leave out certain elements of the formal name format. For example, "Ms. Johnson". If the single guest has been offered a plus-one, you can simply add "and Guest" to the inner envelope.

If you are unsure about a guest's preferred title, it is best to forgo the title altogether. Additionally, if the guest has a distinguished title, such as a military rank or a religious title, it is proper etiquette to address them by that title on the invitation envelope.

Outer envelope: "Mx. Sam Li"

Inner envelope: "Sam Li and Guest"

Outer envelope: "Ms. Ali Johnson"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Johnson"

Frequently asked questions