Adults-Only Nuptials: Nicely Not Inviting Kids To Your Wedding

Planning your wedding and deciding whether or not to invite children can be a tricky situation. Many couples opt for a child-free celebration, and it's important to know how to communicate this preference politely to your guests. Here are some tips and suggestions for wording your invitations and website to achieve your dream adults-only wedding without causing any arguments.

Be direct and consistent

Being direct and consistent is a great approach to ensuring your wedding plans are clear to your guests. Here are some ways to achieve this:

Be Clear and Consistent:

Firstly, it is important to be consistent with your rule across all guests. While you can make exceptions for children of immediate family members, bridesmaids, ushers, page boys, and flower girls, ensure other guests are aware of this. Being consistent will help your request be better received.

Communicate Early:

It is important to communicate your wishes as early as possible. This gives guests with children enough time to make childcare arrangements. You can include a note about your adults-only wedding on your wedding website under the FAQ section, and reiterate this on your invitations and RSVP cards.

Be Clear About Age Groups:

Simply stating "no kids" is not enough. You should specify the age group that won't be attending. For example, will you allow teenagers? Be clear about whether your event is 18+ or 21+.

Address Invitations Properly:

When addressing your invitations, include the names of those invited on the envelope. This ensures guests with children don't assume their whole family is welcome. If using formal invitations with inner and outer envelopes, the outer envelope features the guest's address, while the inner envelope includes the title and last name of each guest. If you don't have an inner envelope, be as clear as possible on the outer envelope.

Avoid Calling Out Specific Children:

Keep your request general and avoid bringing your personal feelings about kids to the forefront. Don't single out specific children as this will likely offend their parents. Instead, talk about your no-children decision diplomatically.

Be Sensitive but Firm:

Be sensitive when dealing with upset parents, but don't back down from your decision. Remember, it is your wedding day, and you get to decide who is invited.

Suggest Babysitting Services:

If your budget allows, consider recommending or providing babysitting services for guests with children. This could be at the venue in a separate room or at a nearby location.

Be Prepared for Pushback:

Even with clear and direct communication, you may still receive some pushback. If there are guests whose happiness means a lot to you, consider compromising by recommending babysitting services or making exceptions for certain children.

Examples of Wording:

• "We kindly request this be an adult-only wedding."
• "We regret that we are unable to invite children to the wedding."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception."
• "We regret that due to the large number of children within our family and friends, we have decided to make our wedding day an adult-only occasion."
• "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."

Make your request early on

Making your request clear from the outset is key to ensuring your wedding guests understand your wishes. Here are some ways to make an early request for a child-free wedding:

Wedding Website

Add a section to your wedding website mentioning that you are having a child-free wedding, so friends and family can plan accordingly. This is a good place to explain your reasons for not inviting children, such as venue restrictions, budget limitations, or simply wanting an adults-only celebration. You can also recommend babysitting services in the area as a thoughtful touch.

Save-the-Dates

When sending out your save-the-dates, include your wedding website information and address any FAQs about your decision to not invite children. This will give guests with children time to make childcare arrangements.

Invitations

Address your invitations only to the members of the household who are invited to your celebration. For formal invitations with an outer and inner envelope, the outer envelope features the guest's mailing address, while the inner envelope includes the title and last name of each guest. If you don't have an inner envelope, be as clear as possible on the outer envelope. You can also add a note at the bottom of your invitations or the RSVP card, such as "We respectfully request no children under 18 at the reception."

Word of Mouth

Ask your immediate family, wedding party members, and friends to spread the word about your adults-only request. This way, guests with children will have time to secure childcare.

Be clear about age groups

When it comes to informing your guests that children are not invited to your wedding, it's important to be clear about which age groups are included in this restriction. Here are some tips and suggestions to help you communicate this effectively:

• Specify the Age Limit: Be explicit about the age limit for your child-free wedding. For example, state that the event is for "guests 18 years and above" or "21+ only". This clarity will leave no room for confusion or misinterpretation.
• Address Invitations Properly: When sending out invitations, ensure that they are addressed only to the adult guests you want to attend. Include the names of those invited on the envelope, and consider adding a line on the response card indicating the number of seats reserved for them at the reception. This way, guests with children will understand that their children are not included in the invitation.
• Use Clear and Direct Language: Avoid vague phrases like "no kids" or "no children". Instead, use clear and direct language to specify the age groups that are not invited. For example, you can say, "We kindly request that there be no children under the age of 16 at the reception."
• Be Consistent with Your Decision: It's important to maintain consistency once you've communicated your decision. Avoid making exceptions for certain children, as this could lead to an uncomfortable situation for other guests. Stick to your chosen age limit to ensure fairness and avoid any potential hurt feelings.
• Provide a Reason: While you don't need to over-explain your decision, providing a brief reason can help guests understand your choice. For example, you could mention space restrictions, venue limitations, or your desire to create a child-free environment for your special day.
• Communicate Through Multiple Channels: Spread the word about your child-free wedding through multiple channels to ensure that all guests are aware. This can include your wedding website, invitations, response cards, and even personal phone calls to those with children. Using multiple channels helps reinforce the message and gives guests with children enough time to make necessary arrangements.

Remember, it's your wedding day, and you have the freedom to decide who to invite. By being clear and direct about your age restrictions, you can effectively communicate your wishes to your guests without causing any confusion or hurt feelings.

Avoid citing personal reasons

When communicating your wishes for a child-free wedding, it's important to avoid citing personal reasons. You don't want your guests to think that your decision is directed at any specific child or their parents. Here are some ways to avoid doing that:

Emphasize Space Constraints

Explain that due to space constraints, you are unable to accommodate children. For example:

• "We regret that due to the large number of children within our family and friends, we have decided to make our wedding day an adult-only occasion."
• "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."
• "Unfortunately, we are only able to accommodate the children in the wedding party at our reception."

Focus on the Ambiance

Some couples prefer a child-free wedding to encourage guests to let loose on the dance floor without the responsibility of looking after minors. You could explain that you want an adults-only event so that guests can enjoy a night off and have fun without worrying about little eyes and ears. For example:

• "We thought you would like the night off, so we are having an adults-only wedding."
• "To give all our guests the opportunity to celebrate without having to worry about little eyes and ears, we politely request no children."
• "We love to see children laugh and play, but our wedding will be an adult-only kind of day."

Be Direct and Clear

You can also choose to be direct and clear in your communication without giving specific reasons. For example:

• "Adults-only reception to follow."
• "Please note that this is an adults-only celebration."
• "Respectfully an adult occasion."
• "This invitation is extended to adults only."

Remember, it's essential to communicate your wishes early and clearly to avoid any confusion. You can include this information on your wedding website, invitations, or through word of mouth.

Specify your plan for wedding party members

If you have wedding party members who have children, it is important to communicate your wishes clearly and tactfully. Here are some suggestions for how to specify your plan for these guests:

Communication Channels

• Ask your wedding party members to spread the word about your adults-only request through word of mouth. This approach can help prepare other guests with children and give them time to arrange childcare.
• Include a note on your wedding website. This is a polite and efficient way to inform guests with children about your preference for a child-free wedding. You can also recommend babysitting options in the area as a thoughtful touch.
• Address invitations to specify the invited guests. For formal invitations with outer and inner envelopes, include the title and last name of each adult guest on the inner envelope. If you are not using inner envelopes, be as clear as possible on the outer envelope.
• For response cards, write the exact names of the invited guests. This will make it obvious that only the adults are invited.

Wording Suggestions

• "We regret that we are unable to accommodate children, other than those in the wedding party. No children are invited to the evening reception."
• "We regret that due to the large number of children within our family and friends, we have decided to make our wedding day an adult-only occasion."
• "We love your children, but due to space restrictions, we cannot accommodate guests under the age of [insert number] on our wedding day."
• "Whilst we love little ones, we kindly request a child-free wedding."
• "We respectfully request no children under the age of 16 to the reception."

Remember, it is your wedding, and you can choose to communicate your preferences in a way that feels comfortable for you. These suggestions can help you navigate this sensitive topic with clarity and tact.

Frequently asked questions