Inviting Wedding Helpers To Your Rehearsal Dinner: A Guide

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a special event that usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. It is a chance for the couple to get together with those closest to them and thank everyone who has helped with the preparations. The guest list is typically smaller and more exclusive than the wedding guest list. So, who should be invited to the wedding rehearsal?

Wedding Planner

As a wedding planner, you'll know that the rehearsal dinner is a key part of the wedding festivities. It's a chance for the couple to get together with their closest friends and family and thank everyone who has helped with the preparations. It's also an opportunity to welcome out-of-town guests and for the two families to get to know each other.

The guest list for the rehearsal dinner can be tricky, and it's often up to the wedding planner to help the couple navigate this. The key people to include are those who will be at the wedding rehearsal itself, including the wedding party, their plus-ones, and immediate family members. It's also customary to invite the officiant, ushers, and any readers.

If the budget allows, it's a nice gesture to invite the entire bridal party to bring a plus-one, even if they're not in a serious relationship. This ensures that everyone knows someone at the dinner. If the couple has a lot of out-of-town guests, it's also common to invite them, especially if it's a destination wedding. However, if the majority of guests are travelling, it's not necessary to invite them all, and a separate welcome celebration can be organised instead.

The rehearsal dinner is usually hosted by the groom's parents, but it can also be hosted by the couple, their families, or the wedding party. As a wedding planner, you may be invited to the rehearsal dinner, especially if you're also coordinating the dinner itself. However, some planners may prefer to skip it, as it can be awkward and takes away time from last-minute preparations. Ultimately, it's up to the couple and the hosts to decide who to invite, and your role as a planner is to support them in this decision-making process.

Out-of-town guests

However, it is important to consider the size of your guest list and your budget. If you have a large number of out-of-town guests, it may not be feasible to invite them all to the rehearsal dinner. In this case, you could consider hosting a separate get-together for them, such as a welcome party, cocktails, or a dessert and drinks reception. This way, they can still feel included without blowing your budget.

If you do decide to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner, it is a good idea to give them plenty of notice, especially if they need to take time off work or arrange travel. A casual email or digital invitation is usually sufficient.

Remember, the rehearsal dinner is a chance for you to spend quality time with your closest friends and family before the big day, so make sure you are comfortable with your guest list and don't feel pressured to invite everyone.

Immediate family

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for some quality time with your nearest and dearest before the big day. The guest list for this event can be tricky, but there are some clear must-invites when it comes to immediate family.

Parents and Stepparents

Mum and Dad are an obvious invite, but don't forget stepparents, too.

Siblings and their Plus-Ones

Your brothers and sisters should be there, and it's also customary to invite their partners.

Grandparents

Grandparents are usually included in the guest list for the rehearsal dinner.

Children

If you have children, they are likely to be part of the wedding ceremony, so it makes sense to invite them to the rehearsal dinner, too.

Extended Family

This is where it gets a little less clear-cut. You might want to invite aunts, uncles, and cousins, but you're not obliged to. If your family is small, you might want to include a few close relatives, but if your guest list is already long, it's perfectly fine to keep it to immediate family only.

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a chance to bring your closest family together before your big day. It's a time to relax and enjoy their company, so it's a good idea to keep the guest list manageable and focus on those closest to you.

Bridal party

The bridal party is an essential part of the wedding rehearsal and subsequent dinner. This includes the maid or matron of honour, the best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer, readers, ushers, and the wedding officiant.

It is customary to invite the bridal party members' plus-ones to the rehearsal dinner. However, some etiquette experts argue that the "plus-one" option only needs to apply to the actual wedding day. If the flower girl or ring bearer is a child of a bridal party member, it is considerate to invite them to the rehearsal dinner, too.

The wedding officiant should also be invited to the rehearsal dinner, along with their spouse or partner. It is a thoughtful gesture, especially if you have a close relationship with them.

The rehearsal dinner is a great opportunity for the bridal party to bond and relax before the big day. It is a more exclusive event, usually limited to the bridal party and the couple's closest friends and family.

Plus-ones

When it comes to wedding planning, there are many sensitive topics, and most of them revolve around the guest list to avoid creating tension or drama. This is not only true for the official wedding guest list but also for other events, like the wedding rehearsal dinner.

Who Should Be Invited to the Rehearsal Dinner?

The wedding rehearsal dinner is a special event that typically takes place a day or two before the actual wedding. It is a chance for the couple to get together with their closest family and friends and say "thank you" to everyone who has helped with the preparations. The guest list for the rehearsal dinner is usually more exclusive than the wedding guest list.

• Parents, grandparents, and siblings of the couple.
• Wedding party members (best man/woman, maid/man of honor, bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, readers, etc.).
• Flower girl and ring bearer (if they are old enough).
• Parents of the flower girl and ring bearer.
• Wedding officiant and their spouse or partner.
• Out-of-town guests, especially those who have travelled a long distance.

Now, when it comes to plus-ones for the rehearsal dinner, there is no clear-cut rule, and opinions vary. Some people believe that plus-ones should only be invited if the couple is married or engaged, while others argue that the "plus-one" option only needs to apply to the actual wedding day.

• Budget and capacity: If you don't have the budget or space to accommodate plus-ones, it is understandable to limit the guest list to only those who are directly involved in the wedding.
• Intimacy of the event: The rehearsal dinner is often a more intimate gathering of the couple's closest family and friends. Including plus-ones may make the event less intimate.
• Relationship status: Some people suggest that if a bridal party member is invited to the wedding with a date, they should also be able to bring that date to the rehearsal dinner. However, singles do not necessarily need dates, especially if they are local and not travelling for the wedding.
• Compromises: If you decide not to invite plus-ones, you can offer a compromise, such as sending a token of appreciation to the invited person's partner or inviting them to a post-wedding after-party or a next-morning brunch.

Communicating Your Decision

When deciding whether to include plus-ones, it is essential to communicate your decision clearly to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings. Here are a few tips:

• Use names on invites: The best way to indicate whether plus-ones are invited is by wording the envelope of your invitation. Include the person's name "and guest" if a plus-one is invited.
• Be clear and consistent: Set clear lines on who is and isn't included to avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings. Be consistent in your approach to avoid any appearance of favouritism.
• Offer alternatives: If you're not inviting plus-ones, consider hosting a separate, more casual get-together for out-of-town guests, such as a welcome cocktail hour or a dessert party after the rehearsal dinner.

Frequently asked questions