Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Parents' Inclusion

Wedding invitation wording can be a tricky business, especially when it comes to the role of parents. Traditionally, the bride's parents would host and pay for the wedding, and thus their names would appear on the invitation. However, times are changing, and now it is common for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to host and pay for the wedding. So, what is the etiquette when it comes to including parents' names on wedding invitations?

Who pays for the wedding is usually the host and is named on the invite

Traditionally, the bride's family assumes most of the financial costs associated with a wedding, including the wedding planner, invitations, dress, ceremony, reception, flowers, photography, and music. However, nowadays, it is becoming more common for couples to pay for their own weddings. In some cases, the groom's family may also contribute financially.

When it comes to wedding invitations, the host is usually listed first. This is often the person or people paying for the majority of the celebration. So, if the bride's parents are hosting and paying for the wedding, their names would typically appear on the invitation. If both sets of parents are contributing financially, it is common to include both sets of names on the invite. For example, "Charles and Delaney Tout and Harold and Claudia Kohn invite you to celebrate with their children Amelia and Stephen."

If the couple is hosting and paying for the wedding themselves, only their names need to appear on the invitation. An example of this could be, "Together with our families, Casey Collet and Felix Edgers invite you to join in celebrating their marriage."

It is important to note that wedding invitation etiquette has evolved, and there is no longer a strict rule about who pays for the wedding or how the invitation should be worded. It is becoming increasingly common for couples to pay for their own weddings or for costs to be shared between multiple parties. Ultimately, the decision about who pays and how the invitation is worded is up to the couple and their families.

The bride's parents are typically the hosts

Wedding invitation wording can be tricky, especially when it comes to including the parents' names. The traditional approach is to list the hosts of the wedding first on the invitation, and in traditional marriages, the role of "hosts" falls to the bride's parents.

When the bride's parents are hosting and footing the bill for the wedding, the invitation wording might look something like this:

"The bride's parents] request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter [bride's name] to [groom's name], son of [groom's parents' names] on [date] at [time] at [venue]."

It is important to note that wedding invitation etiquette is evolving, and it is becoming increasingly common for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to host and be listed first on the invitation. If both sets of parents are contributing financially to the wedding, it is considered good etiquette to include both on the invitation. This can be done in several ways:

• "Together with their parents, [bride's name] and [groom's name] cordially invite you to their wedding..."
• " [Bride's parents' names] and [groom's parents' names] invite you to the wedding of their children, [bride's name] and [groom's name]."
• "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents invite you to the wedding of their children, [bride's name] and [groom's name]."

Ultimately, the decision on how to word the invitations rests with the couple, and it is important to consider the preferences and contributions of all parties involved.

If both parents contribute, both can be named on the invite

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, the host of the wedding is typically listed first on the invite. This is usually the person or people paying for the majority of the celebration. Traditionally, this role was reserved for the bride's parents, but nowadays, it is not uncommon for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to host and be listed first.

If both parents are contributing financially to the wedding, it is only right to include everyone. Here are some ways to word the invitation when both parents are involved:

• "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents and Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents invite you to the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom." This format ensures both sets of parents are acknowledged as hosts and listed first, with the bride's parents' names appearing first, followed by the groom's.
• "Bride and Groom, together with their parents [bride's parents' names] and [groom's parents' names], invite you to their wedding." This option includes both sets of parents while still allowing the couple to be listed first.
• "Together with their families, Bride and Groom invite you to their wedding." This suggestion is a more general way of acknowledging both sides of the family without specifically naming each set of parents.
• "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Parents & Mr. and Mrs. Groom's Parents request your presence at the wedding of their children, Bride and Groom." This version uses the more traditional "request your presence" phrasing and lists both sets of parents first.

It is important to remember that wedding invitation wording can vary depending on personal preferences and family dynamics. The key is to be considerate of those contributing to the wedding and to express gratitude for their support.

The groom's parents are rarely listed on the invite

The wedding invitation is a formal announcement that also serves to honour the people paying for the wedding. Traditionally, the bride's parents would pay for the wedding and thus, their names would be listed on the invitation. However, it is becoming more and more common for multiple sets of parents or the couple themselves to pay for the wedding. In such cases, it is not uncommon for the couple to be listed first on the invitation.

If the groom's parents are not contributing financially to the wedding, it is not necessary to include their names on the invitation. This is a traditional practice and is not meant to be offensive. The groom's parents are still acknowledged as such during the wedding ceremony.

However, if the groom's parents are contributing financially, it is considered good etiquette to include their names on the invitation. This is a way to honour their contribution and to show that they are hosting the wedding alongside the bride's parents.

In the case where the groom's parents are not contributing financially but are still upset about not being included on the invitation, it is important to handle the situation with grace and compassion. It may be a good idea to have a conversation with them and explain that the decision was made based on traditional practices and was not meant to exclude them. It is also essential to involve them in other aspects of the wedding planning process and make them feel valued and appreciated.

Divorced parents are named differently on the invite

When addressing wedding invitations to divorced parents, the mother's name is typically listed first, followed by the father's name on a separate line. This format is considered standard, regardless of financial contributions or other circumstances. Here are some examples:

Divorced Parents, Mother Remarried

If the mother has remarried and taken a new last name, the invitation can be worded as follows:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name]

> Mr. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Divorced Parents, Father Remarried

Similarly, if the father has remarried, the invitation can be adapted:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]

> Ms. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name or Maiden Name]

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Divorced Parents, Both Remarried

In the case that both parents have remarried, the invitation can include both step-parents:

> Mr. and Mrs. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name]

> Mr. and Mrs. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Divorced Parents, No Remarriage

If neither parent has remarried, the same format applies, ensuring that the mother's name is listed first:

> Ms. [Mother's First Name] [Mother's Last Name or Maiden Name]

> Mr. [Father's First Name] [Father's Last Name]

> request the pleasure of your company at the wedding of their daughter

Step-parents and Other Considerations

Including step-parents on the invitation is entirely acceptable and can be done in a variety of ways. One option is to use phrases like "along with" or "together with" to indicate their presence. Additionally, avoid using "and" between the names of divorced parents, as it signifies marriage.

Remember, these are general guidelines, and you should ultimately do what feels right for your unique family situation.

Frequently asked questions