His Wedding, Your Nerve-Wracking Family Introduction

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, the host line, which traditionally includes the names of the bride's parents, but nowadays, it's not uncommon for the couple to host alongside both sets of parents. If you're opting for the latter, you might use wording such as Together with their families or With the support of our families, we are excited to....

The next line is the request line, where you invite your guests to join you on your special day. This could be something formal like Request the honour of your presence or more casual, like Would love for you to join them.

After that, you'll want to include the names of the happy couple. Traditionally, the bride's name comes first, but same-sex couples can choose whichever order they prefer.

The date and time of the wedding should be spelled out in full, followed by the venue name and location. If the reception is at a different location, this can be included on a separate card.

Lastly, you might want to include dress code information and details of your wedding website, though these are optional.

How to word your wedding invites

The wording of your wedding invites is an important part of the planning process. It's a chance to express your style and give your guests a glimpse of what to expect from your big day. Here are some tips and examples to help you word your wedding invites.

The Host Line

The first line of most traditional wedding invites mentions the host, usually the parents of the bride or both sets of parents. However, nowadays, it's not uncommon for the couple to host along with their parents or even by themselves. Here are some examples:

• "Together with their families..."
• "It is with joy that, together with their families..."
• "With the support of our families, we are excited to..."
• "Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Timothy Williams request the pleasure of your company..."
• "Together with their parents, Emma and Jax request the pleasure of your company..."

The Request Line

This is where you invite your guests to join you on your special day. Here are some options to consider:

• "Request the honour of your presence"
• "Request the pleasure of your company"
• "Invite you to join them for their wedding day"
• "Would love for you to join them"

The Couple's Names

Traditionally, the bride's name is listed before the groom's. However, for same-sex couples, you can arrange the names in alphabetical order or based on what looks best with the invitation design. You can use full names, just first and last names, or even nicknames. It's up to you!

Date and Time

For formal invitations, write out the full date and time, including "o'clock." For casual weddings, using numerals is fine. Here are some examples:

• "Saturday, the fifteenth of September, two thousand twenty-one, at half after four in the afternoon"
• "Saturday, August 17, 2024, at 4:30 in the afternoon"

Location

Be sure to include the venue name, street address, city, and state. The zip code is usually not included. If your wedding is abroad, include the country as well.

Reception Information

If the ceremony and reception are at the same location, you can simply say, "Reception to follow." If the reception is elsewhere, include the full address on a separate line or a reception card. Here are some ideas:

• "Dinner and dancing to follow"
• "Drinks and dancing to follow"
• "Reception immediately following"

Dress Code

Including the dress code on your invitation is helpful for guests. If you're having a black-tie event, be sure to mention it. Otherwise, a simple "Formal" or "Casual" will give your guests an idea of what to wear.

RSVP Details

Most traditional weddings include an RSVP card. You can also create online invitations with an RSVP system. Don't forget to set an RSVP deadline to give yourself enough time to finalise the details!

Who to include in your invites

When it comes to your wedding invites, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, it is important to remember that you don't have to stick to tradition. While it used to be traditional for the bride's parents to host the wedding, it is now common for the couple to host with both sets of parents. If you are hosting with your parents, you can include them in the first line of the invite, which mentions the host. For example, "Together with their families". You could also include their names in a line below if you wish.

Next, you will want to include a request line, where you ask your guests to join you on your big day. This could be something like "request the honour of your presence" or "invite you to join them for their wedding day".

After this, you will want to include the names of the happy couple. Traditionally, the bride's name would be listed first, followed by the groom. However, this is not set in stone, and you can arrange the names however you prefer.

You will also need to include the date and time of the wedding, as well as the location. If the reception is at a different location, you may want to include this too, perhaps with a simple "Reception to follow".

Finally, it is helpful to include a dress code on your invites so that your guests know what to wear.

What to do if you're not inviting certain family members

Deciding not to invite certain family members to your wedding can be a tricky situation to navigate. Here are some tips to help you handle it:

Understand the Reasons

Start by understanding the reasons behind your decision. Are there strained relationships, family drama, or other issues that make you uncomfortable with inviting certain family members? Identify the specific reasons why you don't want them there. This will help you maintain a clear and confident mindset when communicating your decision to others.

Be Clear and Consistent

Once you've decided who you won't be inviting, be clear and consistent in your communication. Let your close family members and wedding party know about your decision and ask them to respect it. It's important to present a united front to avoid confusion or mixed messages.

Set Boundaries and Manage Expectations

If you anticipate pushback or resistance from other family members, set clear boundaries and manage their expectations. Let them know that your decision is final and that you would appreciate their support and understanding. It's your wedding, and you have the right to choose who will be a part of it.

Consider the Guest List Carefully

When finalising your guest list, be mindful of family dynamics and relationships. If you're not inviting certain family members, evaluate the potential impact on those who are invited. Try to minimise any negative fallout by ensuring that those who are invited understand your decision and are supportive of it.

Handle Questions or Confrontations Gracefully

If confronted about your decision, remain calm and respectful. You don't owe anyone an explanation, but you can choose to share your reasons if you feel comfortable doing so. Be firm but compassionate, and try to defuse any tension or conflict. Remember, it's your special day, and you want to minimise stress and drama.

Focus on Your Happiness

Ultimately, remember that it's your wedding day, and your happiness is paramount. While family dynamics can be complex, try not to let the decision weigh you down. Focus on the positive aspects of your wedding and the loved ones who will be there to celebrate with you.

How to decide who to invite to your wedding

Deciding on your wedding guest list can be one of the most challenging parts of wedding planning. Here are some tips on how to decide who to invite to your wedding.

Do Invite the People You Love

The people you love should be at the top of your guest list. Write down the names of the people who bring you joy, who you love, and who will be excited to celebrate your special day.

Don't Invite People You've Lost Touch With

If you wouldn't take that person out to a $300-plus meal, then they don't need to get a wedding invitation. This is an intimate time, not a BYOB party! This holds true even if you were invited to their wedding.

Do Consider Your Budget and Venue

Take into account your budget and the type of wedding you're planning. Consider setting aside about half of your budget for the venue and catering, and create a guest list that works within those parameters.

Don't Let Your Parents Add Guests You Don't Know

You shouldn't have to invite anyone out of obligation. All guests should be invited because you and your family want them there. If your father-in-law wants to add a business associate you don't know, or your mother wants to invite her quilting club, stand your ground and politely decline.

Do Account for Plus-Ones

Guests living with a significant other should be invited with a plus-one, even if you don't know them well. If you have no idea who someone is dating, then you don't have to invite a guest. Plus-ones for anyone who does not have a long-term or live-in partner are more discretionary.

Don't Feel Obligated to Invite Children

If you don't want children at your wedding, that's okay. Decide if you want children at your wedding, and if so, in what capacity. Make a rule and stick to it. At many venues, young children can be a liability, so it's worth considering the venue when making this decision.

Do Cut Anyone Who Doesn't Support You and Your Partner

If you have relatives who don't support your relationship, you may decide not to invite them. Weddings are about celebrating your love, and there should be no drama, no hate, no discrimination, and no negative feelings.

Don't Worry About Giving Each Family the Same Number of Invitations

Traditional rules about how many invitations each family can send are now more flexible. Every family is different, and so is their guest list.

Other Tips

• It's a good idea to put your friends and family members into groups based on your relationships with them. Think of it like concentric "circles of trust", with your inner circle being those closest to you.
• Anyone who pays gets a say, so if your family or your partner's family are contributing financially, they should be able to provide input into the guest list.
• Anyone who is in a serious relationship should be invited with a plus-one, whether you know the partner well or not.
• It's not necessary to invite coworkers whom you don't hang out with outside of working hours.

How to tastefully navigate your wedding guest b-list

Creating a wedding guest B-list can be tricky, but these tips will help you navigate it without any guest list faux pas.

Firstly, make B-list decisions early. If you think you might need to separate your guest list into an A-list and B-list, decide as soon as possible. This will give you time to figure out who is on which list and make arrangements for invitations and RSVP deadlines.

Secondly, organise your B-list intentionally. More than just making a B-list, you should organise it in order of priority. Put those who feel important but didn't quite make the cut at the top, and those who would be nice to include but are not necessary towards the bottom.

Thirdly, make a separate list for family and close friends. This will decrease the chances of people comparing when they were invited and figuring out they were on the B-list. Decide what qualifies someone for the A-list versus the B-list, and apply that logic consistently.

Fourthly, send invitations early. Etiquette states that the RSVP deadline should be around three weeks before the wedding, with invitations sent out six to eight weeks in advance. If you have a B-list, using this timing for your A-list means B-list guests could get their invitations after the RSVP deadline. Instead, mail your A-list invitations around 12 weeks in advance, giving you plenty of time to see who can't make it before sending out your B-list invites.

Finally, have two sets of RSVP cards. Print two sets with different RSVP deadlines to make this process easier. The first set, going out with the A-list invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around eight weeks before the wedding. The second set, going out with the B-list invitations, should have an RSVP deadline of around three weeks before the wedding, lining up with traditional etiquette.

Frequently asked questions