Wedding Babies: Who To Invite And How To Prepare

Deciding whether to invite babies to your wedding can be a tricky topic. While some people believe that children add a certain magic to the atmosphere, others feel that kids can be distracting and rowdy since they can't fully appreciate the special meaning behind the big day. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide whether they want to invite babies and children to their wedding, and there are a few things they should keep in mind when making this decision.

One important consideration is the age of the babies or children. If you are inviting parents of young babies (under one year old) or breastfeeding mothers, it is generally considered polite to invite their babies as well. This is because these guests may have difficulty attending without their babies, and it can be complicated to arrange accommodation and feeding for young babies.

Another factor to consider is the number of children or babies that would be invited. If you are only inviting a few children, it may not be as disruptive as inviting a large number. However, it is important to remember that the more children you invite, the more their behavior may change, and you may end up with a playground atmosphere.

It is also important to consider the type of wedding you are having. If it is a formal or evening wedding, it may be more appropriate to restrict children. Similarly, if the majority of families are local, it may be easier to have an adults-only wedding, as parents can leave their children with babysitters for the day. On the other hand, if you are having a destination wedding, it can be harder to restrict children, as guests may have to bring their children with them.

Finally, it is crucial to communicate your decision clearly to your guests. The best way to do this is by being direct and honest, both on the invitation and through personal communication with the guests. This will help to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings.

Communicating your baby policy

Be Clear and Direct

It is essential to be clear and direct when communicating your baby policy to your guests. This means explicitly stating whether or not babies are invited on your wedding invitations or wedding website. If you are having an adults-only wedding, you can indicate this by only including the names of the adult guests on the invitation envelope. You can also include a note on any inclusions in the invitation, such as a reception card, specifying an "adults-only reception" or "adults-only wedding". This clarity will reduce the chance of misunderstandings and give guests with babies enough time to make necessary arrangements.

Get in Touch with Parents

If you have guests with young babies, it is considerate to reach out to them directly. This can be done through a phone call, email, or text message. Let them know that their babies are welcome and offer any assistance or accommodations that may facilitate their attendance. For example, you can offer to arrange on-site accommodation or suggest suitable options nearby. Providing information about baby-changing facilities and breastfeeding or pumping rooms at the venue can also be helpful. Remember to be gracious if they still decide to decline the invitation.

Make a Compromise

If you are hesitant to have an all-out ban on babies but also don't want your wedding to be overrun by children, consider making a few exceptions. For instance, you can allow babies for close family members or members of the wedding party. Be aware that some guests may not react well to these exceptions, so it is essential to tread carefully. Explain that you have a guest limit and emphasise that you would love to have the parents and their babies present at your special day.

Provide Additional Amenities

If you decide to invite babies to your wedding, there are a few extra things you can do to make the day more comfortable for the parents and babies:

• Accommodation: Offer on-site accommodation or suggest nearby options for guests with babies.
• Baby-changing facilities: Inform parents about the availability and location of baby-changing facilities at the venue.
• Breastfeeding/pumping rooms: Ask the venue to provide a private room or quiet space for breastfeeding or pumping, and communicate this option to nursing mothers.
• Seating arrangements: Consider designating an area for parents with babies, providing a separate room with childcare, or setting up a kids' table for older children.
• Entertainment and activities: Provide colouring books, crayons, puzzles, or other age-appropriate activities to keep babies and children occupied during the reception.
• Childcare services: Hiring a babysitter or childcare provider can be a thoughtful gesture, especially for parents who may need a break during the festivities.

Remember, the key to successful communication is clarity, consideration, and compromise. By being transparent about your baby policy and offering support to guests with young children, you can ensure that everyone feels valued and accommodated.

Inviting some children but not others

If you want to invite some children but not others, it's important to set a clear rule and stick to it. For example, you could invite only children in the wedding party or only immediate family members' children. This will help to avoid any hurt feelings among guests whose children were not invited.

Another option is to have an adults-only wedding and make it clear on the invitation that children are not invited. This may result in some guests with young babies or breastfeeding mothers declining the invitation. If you choose this option, be prepared for some guests to be upset and consider the possibility that they may bring their children anyway.

Ultimately, it is your wedding, and you can invite whoever you want. Just be prepared for some guests to be upset if their children are not invited, especially if other children are.

Addressing wedding invitations

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure that your guests feel welcome and respected. Here are some guidelines and tips for addressing wedding invitations:

Outer Envelope vs Inner Envelope

Wedding invitations can include both an outer and an inner envelope. The outer envelope is the one that is stamped and addressed, while the inner envelope contains the names of the invitees and the invitation itself. The inner envelope is more informal, and you can choose to include or omit certain elements of the formal name format.

Formality

The outer envelope should be more formal. A foolproof option is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, Mx., etc.). This format works for couples of all genders, regardless of whether they share a surname, and still feels traditional. If you want to forgo titles altogether, you can simply use first and last names. Always remember to double-check your guests' preferred personal titles, especially if they do not identify as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss.

Married Couples

If you are inviting a married couple with the same last name, the traditional format is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. For couples with different last names, write their full names with "Mr." or "Mrs." on the outer envelope. You can choose to list the person you are closest to first.

Unmarried Couples

For unmarried couples living at the same address, include both people's full names on one or two lines on the outer envelope, with their respective titles. Start with the person you are closer to.

Single Guests

For single male guests, use "Mr." followed by their full name. For single female guests, use "Ms." followed by their full name. For non-binary guests, use the abbreviation "Mx." followed by their full name. If a single guest has a plus one, include "and Guest" on the inner envelope.

Families with Children

When inviting a family with children, the outer envelope should include only the parents' names, while the inner envelope can list each child by name. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if desired. Boys do not need a title until they are 16, at which point they can be addressed as "Mr." If you are inviting a family with adult children (18 or older), each child should receive their own invitation unless they live at home with their parents.

Distinguished Titles

For guests with distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, judges, or military personnel, it is proper to address them by their title on the wedding invitation envelope. List the guest with the higher title first, regardless of gender.

Adults-Only Weddings

If you are planning an adults-only wedding, the best way to communicate this to your guests is by being direct and honest. Address the wedding invitations properly, and include an adults-only announcement on your wedding website. Start by putting only the couple's names on the outer envelope. On any inclusions, such as a reception card, you can specifically note "Adults-Only Reception" or "Our wedding is adult-only, thank you." Being clear from the start will decrease the chance of misunderstandings and give guests more time to make necessary arrangements.

Making your wedding child-friendly

If you're inviting parents of young babies (under a year old) and/or breastfeeding mothers to your wedding, it's only polite to invite their babies, too. Otherwise, you're putting your guests in a difficult position, and they may have to decline your invitation.

Give them responsibilities

Keep the kids busy by giving them some light responsibilities during the ceremony and reception. For example, they could be flower girls, junior bridesmaids, or ring bearers. Older children can pass out wedding programs, favours, or cake.

Help the parents plan

Share the general itinerary with parents ahead of time so they can plan naps, feedings, and potty breaks accordingly. Let them know if and when their child will be needed for pictures.

Provide reception entertainment

Consider hiring a balloon artist, caricaturist, clown, or magician to entertain kids in a designated corner of your reception room. If that's not in the budget, opt for some low-cost entertainment like board games, activity sheets, or crayons and butcher paper to cover the kids' table.

Provide kid-friendly meals

Ask your caterer about providing kid-friendly alternatives, like chicken fingers and french fries, or fruit and cheese platters. Be sure to ask parents about any food allergies, too.

Create a "kids-only lounge"

You can create a "lounge area" full of activities just a room away from the main reception, with adult supervision, so that kids feel like they get an entire room that is "off-limits" to adults!

Childcare options

Deciding whether to invite babies to your wedding is always a controversial topic. Here are some childcare options to consider if you don't want babies or children at your wedding:

Addressing the invitations

If you don't want children at your wedding, it's best to be direct and honest. You can address the wedding invitations to the parents only and include an adults-only wedding announcement on your wedding website. You can also specify an "adults-only reception" or "our wedding is adult-only, thank you" on the reception card.

Case-by-case basis

You can address the invites to just the parents and then discuss as needed. This leaves the door open for guests with babies to bring them if they feel it's necessary.

On-site babysitting

You can hire a professional babysitting company to be present at your wedding to care for children and ensure a positive, safe experience for everyone. This option provides flexibility, as kids can be at the ceremony or not, and can be at the reception or not. It also minimises disruption, avoids exclusion, and is convenient for guests.

Off-site babysitting

If you'd prefer not to have children on-site, you can suggest suitable off-site accommodation for guests with children and recommend babysitting companies in the area.

Frequently asked questions