Addressing Wedding Invites: State Representative Edition

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a complex and confusing topic, especially when addressing invitations to guests with distinguished titles, such as state representatives. It is important to follow the correct format to ensure your guests feel welcomed and respected. In this case, the guest's title, The Honorable, should be used, followed by their full name. For a married couple where one partner is a state representative, the invitation can be addressed to The Honorable [Name] and Mrs./Mr. [Name]. For a same-sex married couple, the invitation can be addressed as The Honorable [Name] and The Honorable [Name]. It is also essential to use full names and spell out all details, including state names and directional words.

Outer envelope format

The outer envelope is the more formal of the two envelopes, containing the mailing address, postage, return address, and an inner envelope. Here are some guidelines for the outer envelope format:

• Always use the complete, formal name of your guest. For example, "Mr. Steven Lewis Nelson" instead of "Uncle Steve". Use a guest's full middle name when you know it. If you don't know it, omit it.
• Never use initials or any abbreviations. That means no ampersands and no shorthand versions of "Avenue", "Road", "Street", and "Highway". This rule also applies to state names; write out "Alabama" instead of "AL".
• Spell out numeric street names. For example, write "Sixty-Seventh Street" instead of "67th Street".
• If your wedding is black-tie, use both inner and outer envelopes. The inner envelope will include the names of the guests invited and the outer envelope will include their formal titles, mailing address, return address, and postage stamp.
• If you are inviting a married couple with the same last name, you can list them together using "Mr." and "Mrs." and spelling out the husband's full name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren".
• If you are inviting a married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, list them separately. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez".
• If you are inviting a married couple and one person is a doctor, list the doctor's name first, regardless of gender. Spell out "Doctor" on the outer envelope and abbreviate it ("Dr.") on the inner envelope. For example, "Doctor Tami Takata and Ms. Christina Smith".
• If you are inviting a family, first decide whether you want to specify which family members are invited. If you don't want to call out specific family members, address the envelope to the entire family: "The Simpson Family". If you do want to specify, write the names of each family member, beginning with the parents' names, and list the invited children's names in order of age below. Female children under 18 can be addressed as "Miss". For example, "The Simpson Family Mr. and Mrs. Homer Simpson Mr. Bart Simpson Miss Lisa Simpson".

Inner envelope format

The inner envelope is smaller than the outer envelope and is used to indicate exactly who is invited to the wedding. Traditionally, the inner envelope was marked only by the titles and last names of the guests. However, today, the inner envelope can be much more casual.

Married Couple (Same Last Name)

• Formal: Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]
• Contemporary: [First Name 1] and [First Name 2]

Married Couple (Different Last Names)

• Formal: Ms. [Last Name 1] and Mr. [Last Name 2]
• Contemporary: [First Name 1] and [First Name 2]

Single Woman

• Formal: Miss [Last Name] and [Guest's Name] (only if you don't know the name of the guest, write "and guest")
• Contemporary: [First Name]

Single Man

• Formal: Mr. [Last Name]
• Contemporary: [First Name]

Unmarried Couple (at the same address)

• Formal: Ms. [Last Name 1] and Mr. [Last Name 2]
• Contemporary: [First Name 1] and [First Name 2]

Families with Children

When inviting families with young children, their names are listed under those of the parents. For children under 18, boys don't need a title, and girls can be listed as "Miss" if desired. Children over the age of 18 should receive their own invitations.

• Formal: Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name] or [First Name 1] and [First Name 2]
• Contemporary: [First Name 1], [First Name 2], and [First Name 3]

People with Distinguished Titles

You only need to include titles on the inner envelope if your guest is a doctor, a judge, or a high-ranking military professional.

• Doctors: Always use "Dr." or "Doctor"
• Judges: Always use "The Honorable"
• Military Members: Use their full title, such as Captain or Colonel

Guests with Unknown Pronouns

If you don't know the preferred pronouns of your guests, it is best to print the inner envelopes without titles like Mr., Mrs., or Miss. First names are sufficient and won't offend people whose gender identity may differ from what is assumed.

Titles and abbreviations

When addressing a wedding invitation to a state representative, it is important to use the correct titles and abbreviations. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• Use the full, formal name of the guest: "Representative Steven Lewis Nelson". You can use abbreviated titles like "Rep." for "Representative" or "Sen." for "Senator" in more informal settings.
• Always write out the full name of the state, such as "Alabama", instead of using its two-letter abbreviation.
• If the state representative has a distinguished title, such as "The Honorable", use this on the invitation envelope.
• For married couples, the traditional format is "Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Johnson". However, if the woman has kept her maiden name, you can write "Mrs. Rachel Cooper-Smith" or list the woman's name first: "Mrs. Rachel Cooper-Smith and Mr. John Smith".
• For unmarried couples living in the same household, list your friend first, regardless of gender, followed by their partner's name on a separate line: "Ms. Lisa Chan/Mr. Bradley Washington".
• When addressing a family with children, list the parents' names on the outer envelope and the children's names on the inner envelope. If the children are over the age of 18, they should receive a separate invitation.
• For guests with a plus-one, include the name of the plus-one if you know it. Otherwise, you can write "and Guest".
• Avoid using initials or abbreviations, except for recognised titles such as "Dr." for doctors.
• If you are unsure about a guest's pronouns or title, it is best to ask them directly.

Addressing a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and their last names.

Married Couple, Same Last Name

If the couple shares the same last name, you can address them as:

• "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]" or "Mr. and Mrs. [Their Last Name]"
• "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]"
• " [Husband's Full Name] and [Wife's Full Name]"
• "The [Their Last Name]s"

Married Couple, Different Last Names

If the couple has different last names, you can address them as:

• " [Husband's Full Name] and [Wife's Full Name]"
• "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]"
• "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Ms. [Wife's Full Name]"

Informal Options

If you prefer a more informal approach, you can simply use their first and last names, regardless of whether they share the same last name:

• " [Husband's First Name] and [Wife's First Name] [Their Last Name]"
• " [Wife's First Name] and [Husband's First Name] [Their Last Name]"

Remember, when addressing wedding invitations, it is essential to use full names and avoid abbreviations. Also, consider the couple's preferences and what feels most comfortable for you.

Addressing an unmarried couple

When addressing an invitation to an unmarried couple living together, both names should be included on the envelopes, with each name getting its own line. List the person you're closest with first or, if you're equally close to both guests, go in alphabetical order.

Ms. Sara Trent

Mr. Anthony James

56 North Ridge Drive

Hartinger, California 28495

Sara and Anthony

56 North Ridge Drive

Hartinger, CA 28495

If you are using only one envelope, all invited parties should be clearly stated on the front. This includes guests that are typically only listed on the inner envelope, such as plus-ones. If you're short on space, you can replace children's individual names with "and Family" or opt for "The [Last Name] Family".

It's important to note that the "and" conjunction is used when addressing unmarried couples living together, whereas "and guest" (lower-cased) is used when addressing a married couple and their guest.

Frequently asked questions