The Order Of Names On Wedding Invitations

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many traditions and rules of etiquette to consider. One of the most common questions asked by couples is whose name should go first on the invitation. While there is no definitive right or wrong answer, tradition dictates that the bride's name precedes the groom's. This is because weddings were typically hosted and paid for by the bride's parents, so their daughter's name would be listed first. However, nowadays, weddings are often hosted and funded by both sets of parents or even the couple themselves, so it is becoming more common to see invitations that break with tradition. Ultimately, the order of names is a personal choice and couples should go with whatever they feel most comfortable with.

Bride's name first

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, the big question is often whose name should go first—the bride or the groom? While there is no definitive right or wrong answer, there are some traditions and considerations that may influence your decision. Here are some reasons why you might choose to put the bride's name first:

Tradition and Etiquette

Following traditional wedding etiquette, the bride's name typically comes first on a wedding invitation. This is especially true for formal or classic invitations and is often done when the bride's parents are hosting (and paying for) the wedding. In this case, the bride's full name, including her middle name, is listed first, followed by the groom's full title and last name.

Personal Preference

If you are not bound by tradition, you can choose to list the names in whichever order you prefer. Some couples decide based on what sounds better or what fits best with the invitation design. You may also consider the order in which you are usually referred to as a couple by friends and family.

Consistency

It is generally a good idea to keep the name order consistent throughout your wedding stationery. This includes save-the-dates, invitations, and any other materials like order-of-the-day cards or table plans.

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the decision may be guided by which set of parents is hosting the wedding or alphabetical order. Ultimately, it comes down to personal preference, and you can choose whichever order feels right for you as a couple.

Remember, your wedding invitations should reflect your style and choices as a couple. While tradition may play a role, you can decide to prioritise what feels most comfortable and meaningful to you.

Groom's name first

While it is traditional for the bride's name to come first on wedding invitations, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. It is really a case of what the couple (and their families) feel comfortable with. If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, they can choose whichever order they prefer.

Some couples choose to put the groom's name first. This may be because it sounds better, or because it fits better with the design of the invitation. It could also be because they are using a monogram in their invitation design, and the initials sit better one way around. For some couples, the groom's name comes first simply because they are following alphabetical order.

If you are a same-sex couple, the same advice applies. You could also consider whether you are usually known as a couple with your names in a certain order, or whether one set of parents is hosting the wedding.

Same-sex couples

When it comes to same-sex couples, there is no right or wrong way to order names on a wedding invitation. The most important thing is that the couple feels acknowledged and respected. Here are some options for how to order names on wedding invitations for same-sex couples:

• Alphabetical order: This is a neutral approach that provides structure and makes the invitation easily readable. It also helps to define the order, especially if one person's name naturally comes before the other's.
• Age: The older person's name can come first.
• Known order: If the couple is usually referred to in a certain order by friends and family, it may be best to stick with this.
• Personal preference: The couple may prefer the sound or flow of their names in a certain order.
• Titles: If one partner has a title or specific honorific (such as Dr. or Judge), their name can be listed first.

Ultimately, it is a good idea to communicate openly with the couple and ensure they feel comfortable with the decision.

Divorced parents

When it comes to wedding invitations, the order of names can be a tricky business, especially when dealing with divorced parents. Here are some guidelines and examples to help you navigate this situation:

Traditional Rules and Modern Variations:

The traditional etiquette dictates that divorced parents' names never appear on the same line, even if they remain unmarried. The mother's name usually goes first unless she is not contributing financially to the wedding, in which case the father's name takes precedence. However, modern couples often have more freedom to make choices that reflect their personal preferences and family dynamics.

Alphabetical Order:

One option is to list the parents' names alphabetically, removing any distinction between the bride's and groom's families. This approach offers a neutral and structured way to present the information.

Mothers First, Then Fathers:

Another option is to list the mothers' names first, followed by the fathers' names on the subsequent line.

Biological Parents First:

You could also opt to list the biological parents' names first, followed by their respective partners' names.

Including Step-parents:

If step-parents play a significant role in your life, they can be included in the invitation. A common practice is to list them on a separate line following their spouse, acknowledging their place in the family.

Using Full Names:

Using full first and last names for each parent can be a way to avoid confusion or any implication of a relationship between ex-partners.

Honoring Comfort and Relationships:

Consider your personal relationships and comfort levels, as well as those of your parents, when deciding on the format. The goal is to honor and acknowledge family members without causing discomfort. For example, if the bride is closer to her mother and the groom to his father, the invitation could start with "With great joy, [mother's name] and [father's name] invite you to the wedding of their children, [bride's name] and [groom's name]..."

Neutral Wording:

In cases of complex family dynamics, a neutral approach can be used. Starting the invitation with "Together with their families..." includes everyone without specifying individual names.

Collaborative Wording:

If both sets of parents are contributing financially or otherwise, you can use collaborative wording: " [Bride's name] and [Groom's name] together with their families request the pleasure of your company... "

Ultimately, the decision rests with the couple, and it's important to choose a format that respects everyone's feelings and ensures they feel included on this special occasion.

Alphabetical order

Arranging names in alphabetical order is a neutral way to write the invitation, avoiding any potential arguments about whose name comes first. It also provides a clear structure that makes the invitation easy to read.

If you're using this approach, it's a good idea to keep the order consistent throughout your wedding stationery. You can also consider how the names will look aesthetically on the invitation and whether the alphabetical order sounds better when spoken out loud.

In addition to the names of the couple, you can also use alphabetical order for the bridal entourage, including principal sponsors, secondary sponsors, and members of the wedding party. This prevents any bias or favouritism from being shown.

• Clyde Cranson and Jimmy Yoo invite you to share in their love and joy as they exchange their vows and rings.
• Please join us for the wedding of Maria Ong & Daniel Hutchinson.
• The honour of your presence is requested at the wedding of Jade Mary Adams and Shane Edward Vexman.

Frequently asked questions