Hand Addressing Wedding Invites: A Personal Touch?

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex and delicate area, but it's important to ensure that the invitations are addressed politely and respectfully. Hand addressing wedding invitations is traditional and seen as more personal, but it is not necessary. There are alternatives such as printing from a computer, using address labels, or hiring a professional calligrapher. Ultimately, it is up to the couple to decide how they want to address their wedding invitations, taking into consideration factors such as budget, interest, and time constraints, and the level of formality of the wedding.

Handwriting vs. printing

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, there are a few options to consider: handwriting, printing, or a combination of both. Here are some things to keep in mind when deciding between handwriting and printing:

Handwriting:

Handwriting wedding invitations can add a personal touch and make the invitations more special. It is also a good option if you want to follow traditional wedding invitation etiquette, as many sources suggest that invitations should be hand-addressed. If you have beautiful handwriting or are particularly crafty, this could be a fun project to do yourself or with the help of your wedding party. You could also hire a professional calligrapher to ensure that your invitations look elegant and sophisticated. This option can be more time-consuming and may require additional planning to ensure you have all the necessary addresses, but it can truly elevate the look of your invitations.

Printing:

On the other hand, printing your wedding invitations can be a more convenient and efficient option, especially if you have a large number of invitations to send out or if you're short on time. Printing is also a good choice if your handwriting isn't the best or if you want to ensure your invitations are easy to read and look neat. You can print directly onto the envelopes or use address labels, which can give your invitations a streamlined and modern look. Printing is generally more cost-effective than hiring a calligrapher and can save you from hand cramps if you have a lot of invitations to address!

Combining Handwriting and Printing:

You don't necessarily have to choose just one method. Combining handwriting and printing can be a great way to get the best of both worlds. For example, you could print the addresses on the outer envelopes and then handwrite the names of the invited guests on the inner envelopes, adding a personal touch while still saving time and effort. Alternatively, you could print the addresses and then add handwritten embellishments or decorations to make them unique.

Ultimately, the decision between handwriting and printing comes down to your personal preferences, the level of formality of your wedding, and practical considerations such as time and budget. Whichever option you choose, your guests will surely appreciate the thought and care that goes into sending out wedding invitations!

Calligraphy

Firstly, it is important to understand the process and the time involved. Calligraphy is an art that requires plenty of practice and cannot be learned overnight. If you are considering addressing your own envelopes, set a realistic goal to avoid burnout. For example, you could aim to hand-letter 10 to 15 envelopes a day or only address the envelopes going to close family members and your bridal party.

When it comes to tools, a calligraphy pen or paintbrush might feel intimidating for beginners. Instead, consider using a brush pen or a waterbrush, which come in a variety of colours and sizes to match your wedding card suite. Waterbrushes use ink and watercolour paint, allowing you to match the colour to your envelopes.

To write straight addresses on your envelopes, you can use a ruler and pencil to draw lines as a guide. For darker envelopes, use a piece of transfer paper between your pencil and the envelope. Alternatively, you can use a lightbox with a template placed under or inside your envelopes, but this method may not work for medium- to dark-coloured envelopes. You can also purchase or make an envelope addressing guide, which helps you letter within a certain area and keeps your lettering straight.

When choosing a calligraphy style, you may want to print out different fonts to mimic if you are not comfortable using your own handwriting. Download your preferred font and print out the alphabet (both upper and lower case) and numbers as a reference.

If you decide to hire a professional calligrapher, expect the cost to range from $1 to $7 per envelope, depending on factors such as the artist's experience, turnaround time, style, and special materials used. Most calligraphers schedule a two-week turnaround time, so be sure to plan ahead and provide them with a neatly printed guest list, including full addresses and social and professional titles.

Addressing married couples

When addressing wedding invitations to married couples, there are a few different approaches you can take depending on your preference and the couple's relationship to you. Here are some detailed guidelines to help you navigate this process:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For heterosexual couples, the traditional approach is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" on the outer envelope and "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle" on the inner envelope. However, some modern women may prefer to have their names included separately. In this case, you can address the outer envelope as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

When addressing a heterosexual married couple with different last names, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez" on the outer envelope and "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David" on the inner envelope.

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

When addressing a spouse who has chosen to hyphenate their last name, use the following format: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft" on the outer envelope and "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian" on the inner envelope.

Same-Sex Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For same-sex couples with the same last name, address both individuals by their titles and full names on the outer envelope. For example, "Mr. Adam Acheson and Mr. Bruce Acheson" or "Mrs. Lauren Brown and Mrs. Emily Brown". If you are closer to one of them, list that person's name first. Otherwise, go in alphabetical order. On the inner envelope, you can use their first names only, such as "Adam and Bruce" or "Lauren and Emily".

Same-Sex Married Couple with Different Last Names:

For same-sex married couples with different last names, include both their first and last names, each preceded by the appropriate title, on the same line with the "and" conjunction. For example, "Ms. Lisa Chan and Ms. Angelica Green" or "Mr. Bradley Washington and Mr. Walter Randolph" on the outer envelope.

Including Children:

If you are also inviting the children of a married couple, list them on the second line after their parents on the inner envelope. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Michael Randall, Carolyn, Julie, and William". If the children are over the age of 18, it is more appropriate to send them separate invitations.

Using Titles and Pronouns:

When addressing couples with distinguished titles, such as doctors, military personnel, or judges, the person with the title socially "outranks" the other, so list them first regardless of gender. Spell out the titles in full on the outer envelope and abbreviate them on the inner envelope if desired. For trans or non-binary individuals, use their preferred pronouns and adopted name if they have changed it to match their gender identity. "Mx." is often preferred as a gender-neutral title.

Addressing unmarried couples

When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, the general rule is that the addresses should be handwritten, as it is much more personal for such a special occasion. If you have beautiful handwriting, you can write the addresses yourself, or you can hire a professional calligrapher to do it for you. If you're not a fan of your own handwriting, you could also consider wedding address labels, which are simply stickers with names and addresses that you can stick onto the envelopes.

Now, when it comes to addressing unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, if the unmarried couple lives together, both of their names should be included on the invitation, even if you haven't met the other person. It is considered rude to address the invitation to one person and add "and guest". Make sure to write their names on the same line, with the person you are closest to first. For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee".

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a separate wedding invitation to each person; however, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest. In the case of only sending the wedding invitation to the primary guest, you should still include the other person's name on the inner envelope. If you are friends with both partners and would invite them even if they weren't a couple, it is best to send them separate invitations to their respective homes.

Remember, the key is to be consistent in your policy when addressing unmarried couples. Established couples, whether married or not, are considered a social unit, and it is important to respect that in your invitations to avoid upsetting or offending your friends and family.

Addressing families

When it comes to addressing families in wedding invitations, there are a few options to consider. Here are some detailed instructions and examples to guide you through the process:

Outer Envelope Addressing:

If you are using only an outer envelope, you can address the invitation to "The [Family Name]" to indicate that the whole family is invited. For example:

> The Simpson Family

Alternatively, you can list the names of the parents to indicate that the whole family is invited. You can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the father's name, or list both parents' full names:

> Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson

> Mr. Alan Thompson and Mrs. Emily Thompson

Inner Envelope Addressing:

If you are using both an outer and an inner envelope, the inner envelope is where you can specify which family members are invited. Begin with the parents' names, followed by the names of the invited children in order of age, with female children under the age of 18 addressed as "Miss":

> Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily

You can also use nicknames or terms of endearment on the inner envelope for a more personal touch:

> Uncle Alan, Aunt Emily, Roger, Chance, Jenny, and Lil

Formality and Titles:

When addressing families, it is generally recommended to use titles and full names, especially for more formal weddings. However, if your wedding is on the casual side, such as a backyard barbecue or a picnic in the park, you may opt for a less formal approach by leaving out titles or using only first names. For example:

> Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie

Return Address:

Don't forget to include your return address on the envelope! This is typically printed on the back flap of the outer envelope. You can order envelopes with the return address printed in advance to give yourself time to write out the guest addresses.

Handwriting vs. Printing:

While handwritten addresses add a personal touch, it is not a requirement. If your handwriting is not the best or you prefer a more consistent look, you can consider printing the addresses directly on the envelopes or using address labels. Calligraphy services are also an option if you want to add a touch of elegance.

Frequently asked questions