Etiquette Guide To Marking Wedding Invites

Wedding invitations are a chance to make a good impression and set the tone for your big day. It's important to get them right, from the envelopes to the inserts. This guide will take you through the process of marking wedding invitations, from the etiquette of addressing envelopes to the correct way to stuff them.

How to address a wedding invitation to a single person

When addressing a wedding invitation to a single person, it is important to use their full name and appropriate title. Here are some guidelines to follow:

• For a single female, use "Ms." if she is over 18. If she is younger, use "Miss", spelling it out rather than using an abbreviation. For example, "Ms. Stephanie Chen" for an adult, or "Miss Stephanie Chen" for a minor.
• For a single male, use "Mr." if he is over 18. If he is younger, no title is necessary. For example, "Mr. James Montgomery" for an adult, or simply "James Montgomery" for a minor.
• If your guest identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx." If you are unsure of their preferred title, it is best to ask them. For example, "Mx. Courtney Andrews".
• For a widowed woman, it is polite to ask if she prefers to be addressed using her married name or her late husband's name. Some widows may also prefer "Ms." For example, "Mrs. George Devereaux" or "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux".
• For a divorced woman, you can use either "Ms." or "Mrs." followed by either her ex-husband's last name (if she still uses it) or her maiden name, depending on her preference. For example, "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway".
• If your single guest has a distinguished title, such as a judge, priest, or military officer, use the appropriate title before their full name. For example, "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor" for a judge, or "Father Damien Karras" for a priest.

When it comes to the outer and inner envelopes, traditional wedding invitations have both. The outer envelope is more formal and includes the mailing address, postage, and return address. The inner envelope includes only the recipients' names and the invitation suite. When using two envelopes, the outer envelope is addressed more formally, while the inner envelope is slightly more casual and may include first names. However, it is becoming more common to send wedding invitations without an inner envelope, in which case you would focus on properly addressing only the outer envelope.

Outer envelope: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner" (if she is under 18)

Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Miss Tanner" or just their first names, "Elizabeth" or "Donna-Jo".

If your single guest has a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Simply write their name and "and guest" on the inner envelope. For example:

Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"

Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"

How to address a wedding invitation to a married couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. The rules vary depending on whether the couple has the same last name or different last names, and whether they are a heterosexual or same-sex couple. Here are some guidelines to follow:

For a married couple with the same last name:

• If the couple is heterosexual, the invitation can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's full name. The wife's name is usually omitted in this case. However, some modern women may prefer to have their name included, so you can use "Mr. and Mrs." followed by both the husband and wife's first and last names.
• If the couple is same-sex, use "Mrs." or "Mr." for each person, followed by their first and last names. You can also use "The Mesdames" for two women and "The Mssrs." for two men, followed by both their first names and last names.

For a married couple with different last names:

• Write out each person's full name with "Mr." or "Mrs." The name of the person you are closest to can go first, or you can go in alphabetical order.
• If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last.

For a married couple where one person is a doctor:

• List the doctor's name first, regardless of gender. You can spell out "Doctor" or use the abbreviation "Dr."
• If the doctor is a woman and uses her married last name, reflect that in the address.

For a married couple where both people are doctors:

• Address the invitation to "The Doctors" followed by their last name.
• If they have different last names, list their names separately with "Dr." before each name.

In general, it is best to use full names and avoid abbreviations when addressing wedding invitations. It is also a good idea to find out guests' pronouns and preferred titles before addressing the envelopes.

How to address a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple

When addressing a wedding invitation to an unmarried couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it's important to use full names and avoid nicknames or abbreviations. If the couple lives together, their names should be included on one line, with the person you are closest to listed first. If you are equally close to both, you can go in alphabetical order. Here's an example of how to address the outer envelope:

> Ms. Rachel Green and Mr. Ross Geller

If the couple does not live together, it is best to send separate invitations to each guest. For the inner envelope, you can use courtesy titles and last names or just first names if you are very close to the couple:

> Ms. Green and Mr. Geller or Rachel and Ross

It's also important to be mindful of each guest's preferred pronouns and titles. For instance, if a guest identifies as non-binary, the honorific "Mx." is often used. It's always a good idea to double-check with your guests beforehand to ensure you are using their preferred titles and pronouns.

How to address a wedding invitation to a family

When addressing a wedding invitation to a family, there are a few things to consider. Firstly, decide whether you want to be specific about which family members are invited. If you want to keep it general, simply address the envelope to the whole family, e.g. "The Thompson Family". Alternatively, you can use the parents' names followed by "and Family", e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson and Family".

If you want to specify which family members are invited, list the names of each family member inside the card, starting with the parents' names and then listing the children in order of age. For girls under 18, use the prefix "Miss", and for boys under 18, no title is needed. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily".

If the whole family is invited, you can use just the family name or the parents' names on the outer envelope, e.g. "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. & Mrs. Alan Thompson". On the inner envelope, list the first names of all invited family members, e.g. "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Jennifer, and Lily".

If any children are over 18 and do not live with their parents, they should receive their own invitations.

How to address a wedding invitation to those with distinguished titles

When addressing wedding invitations to guests with distinguished titles, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is proper etiquette to address them by their title on the envelope. Secondly, if the guest is part of a couple, the guest with the distinguished title should be listed first, regardless of gender. Thirdly, if both guests have special titles of equal rank, you can list their names alphabetically. Here are some examples:

Doctors:

• On the outer envelope: Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood. If the doctor uses their partner's surname socially: Dr. Anne and Mr. Peter Underwood.
• On the inner envelope: Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood or The Doctors Underwood.

Military Personnel:

• On the outer envelope: Lieutenant Jonathan Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Jane Kelly. If they both have military titles: Captains Jane and Jonathan Kelly, US Navy.
• On the inner envelope: Lieutenant Kelly, US Navy and Mrs. Kelly or The Captains Kelly.

Lawyers:

• On the outer envelope: Michelle Brown, Esq. and Mr. John Brown. If both parties are attorneys: Michelle Brown, Esq. and John Brown, Esq.
• On the inner envelope: Mr. and Mrs. Brown.

Judges:

• On the outer envelope: The Honorable Gina Rodriguez and Mx. Alice Rodriguez.
• On the inner envelope: Judge Rodriguez and Mx. Rodriguez.

Additionally, if you are addressing a guest who is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name. For a rabbi, use the title "Rabbi" followed by their name.

Frequently asked questions