Wedding season is upon us, and you've received an invitation. Now what? Before fantasising about your outfit or stressing about a plus-one, you need to respond to the RSVP. Whether you accept or decline, there is a right way to do it. Here's a guide to help you navigate the process and ensure your seat at the wedding.
Characteristics | Values |
---|---|
Response time | As soon as possible |
Response method | Follow the couple's instructions; this could be a printed card, online website, or email |
Response content | Full name(s), response (attending or not), total number of guests, entree selection, answers to any special prompts |
Declining an invitation | Respond with a definitive "No", include an explanation if appropriate, and send a gift from the couple's registry |
Plus-ones | Only include the full name of your plus-one if you are certain they will attend |
Allergies | Call the host to disclose serious allergies and discuss options |
What You'll Learn
Respond promptly
Responding promptly to a wedding invitation is important for several reasons. Firstly, it helps the couple finalise their numbers, create a seating plan, and confirm their budget. Secondly, it ensures that you secure your seat at the wedding. Wedding vendors require a final headcount by a specific date, and late RSVPs may result in you not having a seat or meal at the event.
So, how soon is soon enough? Well, it's advisable to respond within a full weekend of receiving the invitation. At the very least, you should respond by the RSVP deadline listed on the invite. This deadline is usually about two to three weeks before the wedding, giving the couple enough time to make the necessary arrangements.
If you happen to miss the RSVP deadline, it's important to take prompt action. Call the couple as soon as you realise your oversight and send in the RSVP card anyway. This way, they can try to accommodate you, and they may also keep your response as a keepsake.
In summary, responding promptly to a wedding invitation is crucial. It helps the couple with their planning and ensures that you don't miss out on the big day. So, mark your calendar and don't delay in letting the happy couple know whether you can join their celebration!
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Include full names
When filling out an RSVP card, it's important to include your full name and the full names of any other attendees. This is crucial for the wedding hosts, who will use this information to finalise the guest list, create name cards, and manage seating arrangements and catering counts.
If the RSVP card includes an "M" preceding a blank space, this is where you write your social title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss.) followed by your full name. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" or "Ms. Jane Pearson and Mr. Jason Brown". Write your name exactly as it appears on the envelope. If the envelope is addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", the response should state "Mr. and Mrs. Smith". However, if the envelope includes additional names, such as "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew", then the response should include those names as well: "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie and Drew".
If you have been invited with a plus-one, it is considered good etiquette to include their full name as well. This helps the hosts create a personalised name card for your guest. For example, if your plus-one is your long-term partner, don't assume the hosts know their name. Always provide their full name, even if you think they should know who it is.
In the case of response cards without pre-printed lines, include your full name and the number of guests in a sentence format. For instance, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will attend. The four of us wish everyone the best and look forward to joining you."
Remember, it is essential to provide the full names of all attendees to help the wedding hosts plan and organise the event seamlessly.
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State your response
The most important thing is to respond to the wedding invitation as soon as possible. If you are accepting the invitation, you should indicate how many people from your household/family will be attending. If you are unable to attend, you should still respond to the invitation and indicate that you won't be there.
If you are accepting the invitation, you should include your full name(s) and the number of guests attending. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Maggie, and Drew will attend. The four of us wish everyone the best and look forward to joining you in May." If you are bringing a plus one, include their full name.
If you are unable to attend, you can respond with a simple "Mr. and Mrs. Smith regretfully decline the invitation." If you would like, you can include a brief explanation and send a gift from the couple's registry. For example, "Thank you so much for inviting us to join you at your upcoming wedding. Unfortunately, we will not be able to attend as we will be out of the country that weekend. We are sad to miss this special event and will be celebrating with you from afar. Sending our love and best wishes. Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
If the invitation includes a separate RSVP card, fill out all the fields, including any fun additional notes. If there is no RSVP card, look at the invitation for details on how to respond. The couple may have included their wedding website or an email address for responses.
If the invitation includes a pre-printed template, fill in the requested information, such as your response, the number of guests, dietary requirements, and any other questions. If the card is blank, write a brief personal message confirming your attendance or non-attendance and including any other requested details.
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Specify dietary requirements
When it comes to specifying dietary requirements on a wedding RSVP card, here are some detailed instructions and tips to ensure you provide the necessary information:
- Include a line for dietary requirements: On your RSVP card or alongside the RSVP information, add a line such as "Please let us know if you have any dietary requirements we should be aware of." This will prompt your guests to provide relevant information.
- Customise RSVP questions: If you're using an online RSVP system or wedding website, customise the questions to include a section for dietary restrictions. This will make it easier for you to collect and organise the information.
- Request information in your invitations: In your wedding invitations, mention that guests can specify their dietary restrictions when they RSVP. This will give them a heads-up to prepare any relevant information.
- Label dishes and ingredients: To help your guests make informed choices, label all dishes with their respective dietary restrictions, such as gluten-free, nut-free, vegan, etc. If possible, provide a detailed list of ingredients for each dish to ensure guests can make safe choices, especially those with severe allergies.
- Keep dishes well-separated: To avoid cross-contamination, ensure that dishes catering to different dietary restrictions are well-separated. This is especially important for guests with food allergies or celiac disease.
- Notify your wedding venue and caterers: Give your wedding venue and caterers ample notice about any dietary requirements. They will need time to prepare and may have their own deadlines for this information. Aim to provide them with a final headcount and a breakdown of dietary needs at least a month before the wedding.
- Be considerate and accommodating: Remember that guests with dietary restrictions may often face challenges when eating out. Be considerate by providing a variety of options and ensuring there is enough food to fuel them throughout the wedding. If possible, offer alternatives for guests who can't drink the alcohol provided or provide non-alcoholic options.
- Communicate and ask questions: If you're unsure about how to accommodate certain dietary restrictions, don't hesitate to communicate directly with your guests. Ask them for more information and suggestions. This will help you better understand their needs and make them feel valued.
- Provide a DIY dessert table: If you're open to it, allow guests to bring their own desserts or sweet treats. This can be especially helpful for guests with dietary restrictions, as they may have specific needs that are challenging to meet otherwise.
Remember, the key to successfully accommodating dietary requirements is communication and flexibility. By following these steps, you can ensure that your guests with dietary restrictions feel included and well-catered for during your wedding celebrations.
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Add a personal note
When responding to a wedding invitation, it is always a nice touch to include a personal note beyond a simple "congratulations". It adds a layer of warmth and thoughtfulness to your RSVP, and it is a chance to offer a more meaningful response to the happy couple. Here are some ideas and tips on how to craft a thoughtful personal message:
If you are particularly close to the couple, a wonderful way to respond is by recalling a favorite memory you share with them. It could be a fun anecdote from your friendship or a heartwarming moment that showcases your joy for their union. For example, "We will never forget the time we all went hiking and got caught in the rain. It was a disaster, but we laughed the whole way through it. We are so happy to share in this adventure with you both and can't wait to make more memories at your wedding!"
Another idea is to offer a wish for their future together. This can be a more general well-wishing, or you could mention specific hopes you have for their marriage. For instance, "We are so thrilled to celebrate this special day with you both. Your love and commitment to each other are an inspiration, and we wish you a lifetime of happiness and joy as you begin this new chapter."
If you'd like to include a more lighthearted tone, you could add a touch of humor to your note. Perhaps reference an inside joke or a shared experience that will bring a smile to their faces. Just be mindful to keep the humor tasteful and appropriate for the occasion. Something like, "We are so glad you're taking the plunge! We can't wait to be there to celebrate and watch you tie the knot. See you at the altar!"
For a more formal wedding, you might want to include a quote or a piece of poetry in your note. This can be a beautiful way to express your happiness for the couple and add a touch of elegance to your response. Make sure to choose a quote that is not too lengthy and is easily understandable, such as, "May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old-fashioned enough to last forever. We are delighted to be a part of your special day."
Lastly, you can also use this opportunity to thank the couple. Express your gratitude for their friendship, for including you in their celebration, or for any specific reasons you are thankful for them. For example, "We are honored to be a part of your wedding day and are so grateful for your friendship. Your love and support over the years have meant the world to us, and we are thrilled to celebrate this happy occasion with you."
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Frequently asked questions
Respond as soon as possible, and follow the couple's instructions. Be sure to include your full name(s) and the total number of guests attending.
The "M" is intended to be the start of the person's title—Mr., Miss, Mrs., or Ms.—followed by their full name.
It's important to still fill out the RSVP card with your name and indicate that you can't attend. If you don't send your RSVP card back, expect a stressed-out bride or groom to reach out.
If the invitation doesn't include an RSVP card, look closely at the invitation for details on how to RSVP. It's likely that the wedding hosts have opted to take RSVPs online or have included instructions for how to communicate your acceptance or regrets.
Don't just send the card back and hope for the best. Send it back, and also call the couple personally to confirm.