Planning A Wedding: First Steps To Inviting Guests

So, you've received your first wedding invite – now what?

First of all, mark the date in your calendar and start making plans to attend. The hosts will have put a lot of thought into the guest list, so it's important to RSVP as soon as possible. You should also take note of the dress code, travel and accommodation details, and any other helpful information provided by the happy couple.

Who to include as hosts

The host line is the opening line on a wedding invitation and names the hosts of the event. If multiple parties are hosting, you only need to include names if you're going for a formal feel. If you're hosting the wedding yourselves, this line can be omitted.

Traditionally, the bride's parents host and pay for the wedding, so their names would come first. However, it has become more common to include both sets of parents as hosts, which is a gracious and polite option. It's also increasingly common for both sets of parents to contribute financially to the wedding due to rising costs.

If it's a collaborative event hosted and paid for by the couple and both sets of parents, you can begin the invitation by stating the parents' names or with a short statement like, "Together with their parents/families, [couple's names] invite you to celebrate their love and union." Either choice is a proper and formal way to write a wedding invitation.

If the couple is hosting the wedding themselves, you can skip the host line altogether or start the invitation with a warm and welcoming introduction, such as "Together with full hearts" or "With hearts full of love and joy".

If you want to include the name of a deceased parent, you'll need to rearrange things a bit as someone who has passed away can't serve as a host. Here's an example:

> "Lauren Martinez, daughter of Marta Martinez, and Robert Martinez, requests the honour of your presence."

If the couple's parents are divorced and you want to include both as hosts, you can include them all, keeping each parent on a separate line. If you're going to include the name of a stepparent, keep it on the same line as their partner. Here's an example of how a bride with divorced (and remarried) parents worded the invitation:

> "Dr Vance and Elizabeth Gregory, Mr James Abner and Lydia Abner, and Mr Harold and Jane Hyland invite you to the wedding of their children Amy Abner and Charles Hyland."

How to word the request to attend

The request to attend your wedding is the part of the invitation that lets your guests know exactly what they're being invited to. Here are some examples of how to word this:

• "The pleasure of your company is requested"
• "Request the pleasure of your company"
• "Invite you to celebrate with them"
• "Would love for you to join them"
• "Your presence is requested at the nuptials of..."
• "Join us for the wedding of..."
• "Please join us as we celebrate our union"
• "Would love for you to join the celebration of our union"
• "Invite you to celebrate their love"
• "The honour of your presence is requested"

The British spelling of "honour" is often used to indicate that the ceremony will be held in a church or another house of worship.

If you're having a religious ceremony, you may want to use "honour" and "pleasure" instead of "honor" and "pleasure". This is a more formal and traditional way to word the invitation.

When it comes to the tone of your request, consider the formality of your wedding. If you're having a black-tie affair, opt for traditional wording. If you're having a more casual celebration, feel free to use modern and playful phrasing.

You can also include the names of the couple in the request to attend, for example:

• "Join us for the wedding of [couple's names]"
• "[Couple's names] would love for you to join them"
• "The honour of your presence is requested at the marriage of [couple's names]"

If the bride's parents are hosting, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's name. If both sets of parents are hosting, list the bride's parents' names first, followed by the groom's parents' names.

The names of the couple

Names Order

The traditional order for heterosexual couples is to put the bride's name first, followed by the groom's name. However, this is not a hard-and-fast rule, and you can choose to order the names in a way that feels right to you. For LGBTQIA+ couples, there are a few options: placing names in alphabetical order, by age, or however else feels best. Ultimately, it's your special day, so feel free to choose the order that you prefer.

Names Format

You can include first and middle names, first and last names, or full legal names (first, middle, and last). If your parents' names are mentioned, it's common to use your first and middle names. The formality of your wedding can also guide your decision: a black-tie ballroom soiree might call for full names, while a casual beach ceremony might call for just first names.

Names and Hosting

If the couple's parents are hosting, the bride's name typically comes first, followed by the groom's full name. If the bride's parents are hosting alone, wedding etiquette suggests that only the bride's first and middle names are used, without the last name. When the couple is hosting, you can use whatever name format you prefer.

Names and Design

Consider the layout of the text on the invitation. Sometimes, the names will fit better in a particular order due to the design or decorative elements. If you're not tied to tradition, let the design guide your decision. Keep in mind that you'll want to maintain the chosen name order throughout the rest of your wedding stationery.

Names and Pronouns

When addressing the couple in the invitation text, use "their" instead of "his and her" to be inclusive. For example, "the honor of their presence" or "request the pleasure of their company."

Date, time and location of the wedding

The date, time, and location of the wedding are essential details to include in your wedding invitations. Here are some tips and guidelines to help you communicate this information effectively:

Date and Time:

It is crucial to confirm the date and time of your wedding ceremony. Avoid latecomers by clearly stating the start time, allowing guests to plan their arrival. For formal invitations, write out the time instead of using numerals (e.g., "four o'clock in the afternoon"). If using numerals for a modern invite, choose a legible font to avoid confusion. Specify the hour and time of day (a.m. or p.m.) to ensure clarity.

Location:

Provide the name and full street address of your wedding venue, including the city, state, and zip code. If your wedding is abroad, include the country as well. If the venue is well-known or easy to find, you may opt to omit the street address. However, if the ceremony is held in a specific area within the venue, such as a particular room, do include this detail to guide your guests accordingly.

Combining Ceremony and Reception Information:

If your ceremony and reception are at the same venue, you can simply state, "Reception to follow," "Celebration to follow," or "Dinner and dancing to follow." This informs guests that there is no need to travel to a secondary location. However, if the reception is held elsewhere, clearly state the name and address of the reception venue, along with any relevant parking information.

Providing Additional Venue Information:

Consider including extra details about the venue, especially if it is unique or unfamiliar to your guests. Instructions regarding parking options, custom maps, or a list of nearby attractions can be helpful additions. This ensures that your guests have all the information they need to navigate to and around the venue with ease.

Format and Layout:

When formatting your invitations, be mindful of clarity and conciseness. Overloading the invite with excessive text may cause important details to be missed. Consider the overall design and layout to ensure a balanced and aesthetically pleasing presentation.

In summary, providing clear and concise information about the date, time, and location of your wedding is crucial for effective communication with your guests. This information sets the foundation for their attendance and ensures they can plan their journey to share in your special day.

Reception information

The reception details depend on whether your ceremony and reception are at the same venue or different venues. If they are at the same venue, you can simply include a line like "Reception to follow", "Celebration to follow", or "Dinner and dancing to follow".

If your reception is at a different venue, you can include the full address and other pertinent information on a separate details card tucked in with your main invitation. If there is room on the invitation, the reception details can be printed after the location of the wedding.

Clearly state the name of the venue, its address, parking options, and the reception time. This information can be a bit lengthy, so it's important to provide only the important details and do so concisely.

If the reception is not immediately following the ceremony, include the time.

Frequently asked questions