Wedding Etiquette: Scheduling Your Big Day For Guests

Wedding invitations are an important part of the wedding planning process, providing guests with key information about the date, time, and location of the event. While the specific wording and format of wedding invitations can vary, there are some standard elements that are typically included. These include the request to come to the wedding, the names of the couple, and reception information. It is also common to include an RSVP card for guests to confirm their attendance, and this is usually due about two to three weeks before the wedding. In terms of timing, wedding invitations are typically sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, allowing guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements.

The request to attend

"The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of their children [Bride] and [Groom]." This phrasing is a traditional and formal way to extend an invitation, particularly when the bride's parents are hosting the wedding.

"Together with their families, [Bride] and [Groom] request the honour of your presence at their wedding." This option is suitable when both sets of parents are hosting, or when the couple is hosting with their families' support. Using "honour" indicates that the ceremony will be held in a religious venue.

"We invite you to share in our joy as we exchange our marriage vows." This phrasing is a beautiful and heartfelt way to request the presence of your guests.

"Join us as we celebrate our wedding." This option is more casual and ideal for a less formal wedding celebration.

"With great pleasure, we invite you to celebrate with us at our wedding." This phrasing is warm and enthusiastic, setting a joyful tone for the event.

The names of the couple

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are a few different ways to address the couple, depending on their marital status, titles, and the formality of the wedding. Here are some examples of how to word invitations for different types of couples:

Married Couple with the Same Last Name:

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]", while the inner envelope can simply be "Mr. and Mrs. [Last Name]" or "[Husband's Name] and [Wife's Name]". If the couple prefers to have the wife's name included, the outer envelope can be addressed as "Mr. [Husband's Full Name] and Mrs. [Wife's Full Name]".

Married Couple with Different Last Names:

In this case, both names are written on the same line for the outer envelope, with the woman's name first. For example, "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez". The inner envelope can then be more informal, such as "Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez" or "Maria and David".

Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name:

The outer envelope can be addressed to "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Mr. [Husband's Name]-[Wife's Name]". The inner envelope can then be more casual, such as "Mr. [Husband's Name] and Mr. [Husband's Name - Wife's Name]" or their first names.

Unmarried Couple:

For an unmarried couple living at the same address, both names are included on separate lines on the outer envelope, with the person you are closest to listed first (or alphabetical order). For example, "Mr. Stanley Kim" and "Ms. Amanda Rhee". The inner envelope can then be more informal, such as "Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or their first names.

Same-Sex Couples:

When addressing same-sex couples, either name can go first. For more formal invitations, include their full names on the outer envelope, such as "Mr. John Smith and Mr. Michael Jones". The inner envelope can then be more casual, such as "Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones" or their first names.

Casual Weddings:

If the wedding is more casual, it is acceptable to use just first and last names on the outer envelope, without titles. For example, "John Smith and Jane Doe". This can also be done for the inner envelope if desired.

Couples with Distinguished Titles:

If one or both members of the couple have distinguished titles, such as doctors, lawyers, or military personnel, these titles should be included in the address. For example, "Dr. Anne Barker and Mr. Peter Underwood" on the outer envelope, and "Dr. Barker and Mr. Underwood" on the inner envelope.

Remember, these are just some examples, and you can always adapt the wording to fit your specific needs and relationships with the invited guests.

Reception information

The reception is a key part of your wedding day and there are a few ways to include this information on your invitations. If your reception is at the same venue as the ceremony, you can simply write "Reception to follow" or "Dinner and dancing to follow" on the bottom of the invitation. If your reception is at a different venue, it's best to include a separate reception card as part of your invitation suite to share all the details.

> "Please join us for a reception at six o'clock in the evening. JW Marriott Houston Downtown, 806 Main Street, Houston, Texas."

If your reception is at a different location but at the same time, you can list the venue on the following line or on a separate insert card, called a reception card. If there will be a break between the ceremony and reception, include the time on the reception card.

If you are not serving a full meal, you can let guests know by saying something like:

> "Join us after the ceremony for cocktails, hors d'oeuvres, and dancing."

If your wedding has multiple events over the weekend, you can include an activity card in your invitation suite. List all the festivities open to guests in chronological order. If you don't include an activity card, make sure to list this information on your wedding website.

Dress Code

This is optional, but it can be helpful for guests. If your wedding is black tie, you must include that on the invitation. If you don't include wedding attire information, guests will infer the dress code from the formality of the invitation. For example, a formal invitation indicates a formal affair, while a simpler invite suggests more casual attire. The dress code line should be listed on a line following the reception location.

• "Black-tie (tuxedos and floor-length gowns)"
• "Formal attire (suits and dresses)"
• "Cocktail attire (suits or dress shirts with ties and cocktail dresses)"
• "Beach-casual (long- or short-sleeve shirts with pants or shorts, sundresses, and sandals)"

Date and time

When it comes to wedding invitations, the date and time are crucial pieces of information that your guests will need to know. Here are some tips and guidelines for including this information on your wedding invitations:

Formatting the Date

The traditional way to write the date on a wedding invitation is to spell it out completely, using words instead of numerals. For example, if your wedding is on Saturday, October 26, 2024, the date would be written as "Saturday, the twenty-sixth of October two thousand twenty-four". Here are some key formatting tips:

• Capitalize the day of the week (unless your invitation font is all uppercase or lowercase) and separate it from the date with a comma.
• For dates from the 21st to the 31st, use a hyphen between the tens and ones place.
• Capitalize and spell out the month in full without abbreviations.
• The year is usually on a separate line and does not include a comma before it. There is no hyphen between "two thousand", but there is a hyphen between the tens and ones in the year.
• Including the day of the week and the year is recommended but not mandatory.

For a more casual wedding, you can write the date in a more informal style. For example, for a wedding on Sunday, May 17, 2025, you could write "Saturday, May 17th, 2025". Using numerals is also an option for the date and time, especially if it fits the design of your invitation or save-the-date card. Just remember to maintain consistency in formatting throughout your invitation suite.

Formatting the Time

There are several ways to write the time of day on your invitations, depending on the formality of your event. For traditional wedding invitations, write out the time in full without numerals. For example, if your wedding starts at 3:30 p.m., you would write "half after three o'clock". Here are some additional tips:

• For times on the hour, simply write "three o'clock".
• Formal wedding invitations traditionally use "half after" instead of "half past" for times on the half-hour.
• The time should be written in lowercase letters.
• There is no need to specify "in the morning", "in the afternoon", or "in the evening" unless the time falls between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m. or between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. (where there could be confusion). For times after 5 p.m., you can indicate "in the evening".
• For times between noon and 4:30 p.m., you can specify "in the afternoon".
• If your wedding is at 12 p.m., simply write "noon".

For a more casual wedding, you can use numerals for the time, such as "4pm" or "5:30pm". Just remember to match the formality of the time with the formatting of the date. If you write out the date in full, do the same for the time, and vice versa.

Providing Ceremony and Reception Times

Typically, the main wedding invitation only includes the date and time of the ceremony. If your reception follows immediately in the same location, you can simply write "reception to follow" or "dinner and dancing to follow" at the bottom of the invitation. However, if the reception is at a different time or location, it is best to include a separate reception card as part of your invitation suite to share those details. Here is an example of reception card wording:

> Please join us for a reception at six o'clock in the evening.

> JW Marriott Houston Downtown

> 806 Main Street

> Houston, Texas

If your reception is several hours after the ceremony or in a different location, include the time and address on a separate reception card.

Providing an Earlier Start Time

Some couples opt to print an earlier start time on their invitations to ensure guests arrive on time. For example, if the ceremony starts at 5:15 p.m., the invitation may state 5:00 p.m. However, it is generally not recommended to pad the time by more than 15 minutes, as your punctual guests may get bored or think you are running late.

Dress code

When it comes to wedding invitations, it's important to provide your guests with clear information about the dress code. This ensures that your event maintains the desired level of formality or casualness, and it helps your guests feel confident and appropriate in their attire choices. Here are some suggestions for including and communicating the dress code for your wedding:

Where to Include the Dress Code:

• Wedding Invitation: You can mention the dress code in the lower left or right corner of the invitation or at the bottom centre of the design.
• Separate Information/Details Card: If you're providing additional details for guests, include the dress code on this card to keep your invitation simple and uncluttered.
• Wedding Website: If you have a wedding website, use it to provide more comprehensive information about the dress code, especially if there are specific requests or requirements.

How to Communicate the Dress Code:

The wording of your dress code should align with the formality of your wedding. Here are some examples of dress code wording for different levels of formality:

• White Tie or Full Evening Dress: This is the most formal dress code. Men typically wear long-tail tuxedos, while women wear full-length ball gowns.
• Black Tie: This usually indicates an evening wedding where men wear tuxedos with black bow ties, and women wear formal floor-length gowns.
• Formal or Black Tie Optional: Guests are encouraged to wear black-tie attire, but it's not mandatory. Men can wear a dark suit with a shirt and tie, while women can opt for a floor-length gown, knee-length cocktail dress, pantsuit, or dressy separates.
• Lounge Suit or Semi-Formal: This indicates a slightly less formal event, suitable for a daytime wedding. The wedding party will be in formal attire, but guests have more flexibility. Men should wear a classic suit or tux with a tie, and women can choose formal evening wear, including floor-length dresses or evening pantsuits.
• Jacket & Tie: This dress code is similar to Lounge Suit but indicates that men have the option to wear a sports jacket, suit jacket, or blazer with chinos and a tie. Women can wear a cocktail dress, pantsuit, or dressy separates.
• Cocktail Attire: This dress code encourages guests to dress a step above smart casual. Women can wear dresses with hemlines above the knee, and men can opt for a suit (with or without a tie) or a sports jacket and dress shirt.
• Smart Casual: Wedding guests are expected to dress neatly but not overly dressy or casual. Men can wear dark denim, chinos, or suit pants with a neat shirt, while women can choose a skirt or smart trousers.

Remember, the style of your dress code wording should match the overall tone and formality of your wedding invitations. You can use a colon or other appropriate punctuation to introduce the dress code, such as a bullet point or vertical bar. For example:

• Dress Code: Formal
• Dress: Black Tie Optional
• Attire: Smart Casual

Frequently asked questions