Best Man Speech: Avoid These Mistakes

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tremendous honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important tasks is delivering a memorable speech. It's a chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. While the best man is expected to be funny, it's important to strike a balance between humour and sentimentality. The key to a great best man speech is careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery. Here are some tips on what not to do when crafting your best man speech.

Avoid stories about yourself or your role as best man

The best man's speech is not the time to talk about yourself or your role as best man. The wedding day is all about the couple, and your speech should reflect that. Keep the focus on the groom and his new spouse, and avoid any stories that centre on yourself.

It's natural to feel nervous about giving a speech, but resist the urge to fill your speech with anecdotes about yourself. The audience doesn't want to hear about your role as best man or how you and the groom go way back. They want to hear about the groom and his new spouse, and how wonderful they are as individuals and as a couple.

So, when crafting your speech, leave out any stories or jokes that focus on yourself. If you're worried about what to say, ask mutual friends for stories about the groom, or focus on the couple's relationship and how they met. Keep the attention on them, and your speech will be a hit.

Remember, the best man's speech is all about celebrating the couple and wishing them well. By keeping the focus on them, you'll give a speech that's both meaningful and memorable.

Don't mention exes or former conquests

It's tempting to want to take your audience on a chronological journey through the groom's former loves, but this is a sure-fire way to end in disaster. The wedding day is all about the bride, and no bride wants to be reminded of her new husband's romantic past.

Even if you think it's light-hearted fun, no bride wants to think of her brand-new husband as the love interest of someone else. It's also a sure-fire way to upset her, and if she's upset, you've got a problem.

It's also worth remembering that the wedding guests don't want to hear about the groom's exes. They want to hear about the happy couple and their future together. They want to laugh, and they want to feel warm and fuzzy inside. They don't want to feel awkward or uncomfortable.

So, as tempting as it may be, avoid talking about the groom's exes or former conquests at all costs. It's not worth it.

Focus on the couple

The best man's speech is not the time to reminisce about your friendship with the groom. It's not about you, it's about him and his new spouse. Focus on their relationship and how they complement each other. Share a story or two about the groom, but don't make it all about him.

Remember, the wedding guests are there to celebrate the couple, so make sure your speech reflects that. Talk about how the groom and their new spouse are a great couple. Share how they first met and how their relationship has grown so that the guests can get a better insight into the newlyweds.

If you helped the couple meet, you can say something like: "I know I said earlier I'm the best man, but I lied. I'm actually Cupid because I'm the one who introduced these two eight years ago."

Keep it short and sweet

Super-long wedding toasts annoy guests. As one source says: "I’ve never been to a wedding where anyone said, 'That was a great wedding, but the best man speech was just too short and that ruined it.'"

So, keep your speech short and sweet. Three to five minutes is the ideal length, and definitely no longer than seven minutes.

As another source says: "Shorter speeches are best to keep the timeline on schedule and to keep guests' attention. There are usually multiple speech givers, and 5-minute speeches from everyone make it a long experience — and occasionally awkward."

No adult humour or sex references

While it's important to keep your speech lighthearted and entertaining, it's also crucial to remember that a best man's speech is not the place for adult humour or sex references. This is because:

• You want your speech to be memorable for all the right reasons. While some guests might find adult humour funny, others may be offended or put off.
• The wedding day is about the bride, and you don't want to do or say anything that might upset her.
• You want to strike a balance between humorous memories and thoughtful anecdotes.
• You want to keep your speech positive and focused on celebrating the couple's relationship, rather than causing future friction with inappropriate jokes.
• You want to respect the diversity of the audience, which may include older guests and children.
• You want to be mindful of cultural sensitivities and avoid saying anything that might reflect poorly on the couple or their families.
• You want to maintain a level of class and sophistication in your speech, reflecting the importance and formality of the occasion.

So, when crafting your best man's speech, it's best to steer clear of adult humour and sex references. Instead, focus on sharing heartfelt and funny stories that celebrate the couple and their relationship. This will create a warm and inclusive atmosphere that everyone can enjoy.

Don't embarrass the couple

Embarrassing the couple is a surefire way to ruin the wedding and your friendship. Here are some tips to avoid doing that:

• Avoid telling embarrassing stories about anyone, even if that's your sense of humour.
• Steer clear of stories that might include need-to-know elements that could cause problems for the couple or anyone else, such as drug use or pregnancy scares.
• Refrain from commenting on the appearance of anyone you don't know extremely well, including the bride.
• Keep your speech short and sweet. A long-winded speech will likely include unnecessary details that could embarrass the couple. Aim for 2-7 minutes, depending on the number of speakers and the couple's preferences.
• Focus on the couple's positive qualities and how they complement each other. Highlight the groom's good qualities, such as his generosity and friendliness, and mention the positive effects the new spouse has had on him, such as making him more confident or encouraging him to try new things.
• If you know the new spouse well, share what they have to look forward to in their life with the groom, such as his excellent BBQ skills or adventurous spirit.
• Acknowledge the couple's hard work in planning the wedding and compliment the fun and beauty of the event and its details.
• If the couple has planned the wedding themselves, acknowledge how good a job they did and how fun and beautiful everything is.
• Keep your speech genuine and heartfelt. Focus on your sincere wishes for the couple's happiness and avoid trying to be too original or hilarious.
• If you have any doubts about whether something is appropriate, err on the side of caution and leave it out. You can also run your speech by a close friend beforehand to get their feedback.

Keep it short and sweet

Keeping your speech short and sweet is one of the most important things to consider when preparing your best man speech. The ideal length for a best man speech is between three and ten minutes, with seven minutes being the sweet spot.

A short speech will help you to keep the attention of your audience and ensure that your message is memorable. It will also help to keep the day running on schedule and prevent guests from becoming bored or restless.

To keep your speech concise, choose only a few key points to focus on. You might want to share a couple of anecdotes, but make sure they are short and lighthearted. You could also include a theme that ties your speech together, but avoid rambling or including too many details.

Practising your speech beforehand will help you to refine the content and delivery, ensuring that your speech stays on track and doesn't run over time. It's also a good idea to get feedback from a friend before the big day, so you can feel confident that your speech is well-received.

Remember, it's better for your speech to be too short than too long, so don't be afraid to edit and cut out any unnecessary parts.

Frequently asked questions