The Traits Of An Unforgettable Best Man

Being the best man at a wedding is a great honour and a significant responsibility. The best man is the groom's right-hand man throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. While there are no set rules on who the best man should be, it's often the groom's brother, close relative, or best friend. The role comes with a variety of duties, including planning the bachelor party, serving as a point of contact for the groom's side, and providing emotional support. One of the most important tasks is delivering a memorable best man's speech, which should be a mix of humorous and thoughtful anecdotes, well-wishes for the couple, and words of praise for the partner. It's essential to stay sober, avoid controversial topics, and keep the speech short and sincere.

The best man's speech: how to write and deliver it

Being the best man at a wedding is a great honour and one of your duties is to give a speech. It can be a daunting task, but with the right preparation, you can deliver a speech that will be remembered for all the right reasons. Here is a guide to help you write and deliver a memorable best man's speech.

Preparation is key

Don't leave your speech until the last minute. Start preparing a few weeks in advance so you have time to brainstorm ideas, jot down thoughts, stories, jokes, and quotes, and practise delivering your speech. If you don't know much about how the couple met, be sure to ask. It's also a good idea to practise in front of a small audience, such as close friends, so you can get some feedback.

Keep it short and light-hearted

The ideal length for a best man's speech is around 5-7 minutes. Any longer and you risk losing your audience's attention. You don't need to include every story or joke you've ever shared with the groom, just pick a couple of relevant, light-hearted anecdotes that showcase the groom's personality and the couple's bond. Avoid anything that might embarrass the couple or offend the guests, such as inside jokes, controversial topics, or negative comments about marriage or the wedding.

Structure your speech

A good way to structure your speech is to begin with a light-hearted icebreaker or a quote about your relationship with the groom. Then introduce yourself, share how you know the groom, and express your gratitude for being part of the wedding. If appropriate, you can include some funny messages from friends and family who couldn't attend. Share some anecdotes about the groom and the couple, offer some words of wisdom, and compliment the couple. Finally, raise a glass and wish them a happy future together.

Delivery tips

It's natural to feel nervous, but try to speak confidently and slowly, and don't be afraid to make eye contact with the guests. Avoid reading your speech off your phone, as this can be distracting for guests and photographers. Instead, use small note cards or paper to prompt you if needed. And remember to enjoy yourself!

Bachelor party planning

Planning a bachelor party can be a daunting task, but it's also a great honor and a chance to create lasting memories with your friend before they get married. Here are some detailed tips to help you plan an epic bachelor party:

Talk to the Groom:

Start by having a conversation with the groom about six months before the party. Discuss their dos and don'ts, and what type of activities they would enjoy. This will ensure that you plan a party that aligns with their interests and wishes.

Finalize the Guest List:

Work with the groom to decide on the guest list, which typically includes the groomsmen, best man, and other close friends. Get their contact information and send out a preliminary invite to gauge interest and availability.

Discuss the Budget:

Figure out how much each person can realistically contribute to the party. Consider travel, accommodations, food, and activity costs. Traditionally, the groom's expenses are covered by the bachelor party group, so factor that into the budget as well.

Pick a Theme or Party Style:

Determine the type of party that suits the groom and the group's interests. This could be an adventure-packed weekend trip, a relaxed evening at home, or a night out on the town. The theme will guide your choice of location and activities.

Choose a Date and Location:

Select a date and location that works for the groom and most of the invitees, aiming for about two months before the wedding. Popular bachelor party locations include Miami, Las Vegas, Austin, and Chicago.

Book Travel and Accommodations:

Book travel and accommodations, such as flights and rental homes, about three to four months before the party. Ensure you have confirmation from everyone in the group to avoid any financial surprises.

Finalize Activities:

Book any necessary reservations for group activities, such as golf outings, restaurant dinners, or brewery tours. Also, be sure to leave some downtime for guests to relax and hang out.

Confirm Attendees and Share the Itinerary:

A month before the party, check in with the group to confirm attendance and share a detailed itinerary. Include important information such as hotel name, address, arrival times, and contact info, especially for multi-day bachelor parties.

Pack and Travel:

Start packing your suitcase and gathering any decorations or party favors in advance. As the host, plan to arrive at the location early to handle any last-minute setup or preparations.

Celebrate:

It's time to let loose and enjoy the party! As the host, you can enlist the help of another groomsman to ensure everything runs smoothly.

Regroup and Say Thanks:

After the party, send a quick thank-you note to the group, especially if travel was involved. Follow up on any outstanding expenses and share any photos or memories from the celebration.

Remember, the key to a successful bachelor party is good organization, communication, and keeping the groom's interests at the heart of your planning.

Emotional support for the groom

Emotional support is one of the most important tasks the best man has during the wedding planning process. Here are some ways to provide emotional support for the groom:

Be a Good Listener

It is the best man's duty to patiently listen to the groom's complaints, confessions, and questions without any judgment. Be fully present and attentive to the groom's thoughts and feelings. This will help the groom feel supported and understood during the stressful wedding planning process.

Offer Reassurance

Reassure the groom that everything will be okay. Help him stay focused and calm in the lead-up to the wedding day. Remind him that any challenges or worries are normal and that the end result will be a beautiful celebration of his love. Offer words of encouragement and let him know that you are there for him no matter what.

Help with Stress Management

The wedding planning process can be overwhelming, so assist the groom in managing his stress levels. Suggest stress-relieving activities such as meditation, exercise, or hobbies they enjoy. Plan casual hangouts or relaxing activities to take their mind off the stress of planning. Help them stay organized and on top of tasks to reduce feelings of overwhelm.

Provide a Shoulder to Cry on

Weddings can be an emotional rollercoaster, and it's normal for the groom to experience a range of emotions. Be there for the groom if they need to let out their feelings, whether it's happiness, sadness, excitement, or nerves. Offer a supportive and non-judgmental space for them to express their emotions freely. A good cry or venting session can help release tension and make the groom feel supported.

Keep the Groom Grounded

During the hectic wedding planning process, help the groom stay grounded and true to himself. Remind him of his values, priorities, and the reason for the celebration—their love. Encourage them to take breaks, practice self-care, and maintain a healthy perspective. This will help the groom stay level-headed and focused on what truly matters.

Organising the groom's attire

Suit Selection:

The best man is in charge of supporting the groom in choosing his wedding attire and ensuring it complements the overall style and theme of the wedding. Offer your assistance and advice to the groom, but also be mindful of his preferences and comfort. It's his big day, so make sure he feels confident and comfortable in his chosen outfit.

Groomsmen Coordination:

As the best man, you'll also be responsible for coordinating the attire of the groomsmen. This includes helping select their suits, ensuring they are well-fitted, and providing guidance on any accessories. It's important that the groomsmen's attire is cohesive and complements the groom's outfit.

Timely Purchases:

Keep track of deadlines and ensure that suit purchases or rentals are made in a timely manner. You don't want last-minute stress or ill-fitting suits due to delayed orders. It's also a good idea to have a backup plan in case of any last-minute issues, such as a suit not arriving on time or needing alterations.

Emergency Kit:

Prepare an emergency kit for the groom and groomsmen to address any potential issues on the day. This kit could include items like extra cufflinks, shoe polish, an extra tie, or even emergency kits for the groomsmen. You can also include items like breath mints, deodorant, and a small bottle of the groom's favourite drink to help keep him refreshed and confident.

Accessories and Details:

Don't forget the smaller details and accessories. Ensure the groom has selected a stylish pair of shoes that complement his suit. Help him choose a tie or bow tie that fits the colour scheme and theme. If the groom is wearing a vest or waistcoat, assist him in selecting the right style and colour. Cufflinks, pocket squares, and belts are also important accessories to consider, ensuring they enhance the overall look.

Remember, the groom will rely on your support and guidance throughout this process. Be organised, proactive, and attentive to his needs and preferences.

Being the point of contact for the groom's side

Stay Organised and Accessible:

Keep the contact information of all the groomsmen and relevant family members easily accessible. Be responsive and timely in your communication. Ensure everyone has your correct contact details and encourage them to reach out with any questions or concerns. Being organised and accessible will help you effectively coordinate the groom's side and address any issues that may arise.

Facilitate Connections:

Introduce groomsmen and family members who may not know each other. Help foster a sense of camaraderie and unity within the group. This can be done by organising casual get-togethers or group chats where everyone can interact and get to know each other. A united groom's side will contribute to a more cohesive and enjoyable wedding experience.

Manage Logistics:

Be prepared to handle logistics and provide assistance to the groomsmen and family members. This may include coordinating travel arrangements, accommodation bookings, or even offering recommendations for attire. Be a source of support and guidance, especially for those who may be unfamiliar with wedding protocols or procedures. Your logistical management will help ensure that everyone on the groom's side is well-informed, prepared, and ready for the wedding events.

Gather Information:

Act as a central point for collecting information and updates from the groom's side. This could include gathering RSVPs, meal preferences, or special requests from family members. Keep track of important details and relay them to the appropriate individuals involved in the wedding planning. Effective information gathering will help ensure that the groom's side is well-represented and considered in the overall wedding plans.

Offer Emotional Support:

Being the point of contact also entails providing emotional support to the groom and his family. Be a compassionate listener and offer reassurance when needed. Weddings can be emotionally charged events, and having someone to confide in can make a significant difference. Your support will help ease any pre-wedding jitters and contribute to a more positive experience for the groom and his family.

Remember, effective communication and organisation are key to excelling in this role. Stay connected, be responsive, and don't hesitate to reach out and take the initiative. Your efforts will contribute to a well-coordinated and harmonious groom's side, ensuring that everyone feels included and valued.

Frequently asked questions