Junior Rasmussen
Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal. The best man is expected to be by your side throughout the entire wedding process, from attending pre-wedding events to planning the bachelor party and providing support to the happy couple. So, how do you ask someone to take on this important role? Well, there are several ways to do it. You could have a heartfelt conversation, either in person or over a coffee, and express your feelings and excitement about the wedding. Alternatively, you could give them a card or handwritten letter, which can be a great option if you're not great with emotional conversations in person. You could also give them a small gift, such as a bottle of their favourite alcohol with a personalised message, or a gift box with a formal invitation inside. Or, if you want to make a bigger deal of it, you could organise a surprise gathering with your friends and loved ones and ask them all to be your groomsmen with a heartfelt speech.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Conversation | Honest and sincere |
| Gifts | Customised, engraved, monogrammed, personalised, humorous |
| Gathering | Small get-together with friends and loved ones |
| Proposal | Playful message, clever pun, light-hearted |
| Note | Handwritten letter, heartfelt, sentimental |
What You'll Learn
Asking in-person vs. asking via card
Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal. It's a big job, and the person you choose will be your right-hand man from the day you ask them until your wedding day. They'll be there to support you during wedding planning, throw your bachelor party, and stand next to you when you say your wedding vows. So, it's important to put some thought into how you'll ask.
Asking in Person
Asking someone to be your best man in person is a great way to make the moment feel more personal and special. It also allows you to feed off the other person's energy and make it a fun, lighthearted moment or a heartfelt, emotional conversation, depending on your relationship.
- Plan around your favourite shared activity. For example, if you and your friend love golfing, ask them while you're out on the golf course.
- Lead the conversation into your relationship and let them know how much you appreciate them. Then, let them know that you would be honoured if they stood by your side as your best man.
- If you're not great with emotional conversations, you can still ask in person but keep it casual and straightforward. For example, you could simply say, "Dude, would you be my best man?"
- If you're asking multiple people to be groomsmen, you can bring them all together and ask at the same time.
Asking via Card
If you're not comfortable asking in person or your best man-to-be lives far away, sending a card is a great option. It can be a more thoughtful and creative way to ask, and it also serves as a keepsake for your friend to remember the occasion.
- Dive into why the person is so meaningful to you and why you want them to be your best man.
- Take a nostalgic route and highlight your favourite memories with them.
- Infuse the card with humour or keep it super simple with a straightforward question.
- Include a small gift with the card, like a bottle of their favourite liquor or a personalised item.
- If you're asking multiple groomsmen, you can send each person a card and then bring them all together to celebrate once they've all responded.
Whether you choose to ask in person or via card, the most important thing is to let your friend know how much they mean to you and that you want them by your side on your big day.
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Planning a 'bromantic' pre-wedding activity
Planning a bromantic pre-wedding activity with your best man can be a great way to kick off the wedding festivities and create lasting memories. Here are some ideas for activities that you can do with your best man before the big day:
- Golfing Getaway: If you and your best man share a passion for golf, why not plan a golfing getaway? You can make it a weekend trip or just a day trip to a nearby golf course. This can be a great opportunity to relax, enjoy each other's company, and maybe even include other members of the wedding party for a friendly competition.
- Sporting Event: If you and your best man are sports enthusiasts, consider attending a sporting event together. It could be a baseball game, a football match, or any other sport that interests you both. You can make a day of it by tailgating before the event and even include other close friends or family members.
- Outdoor Adventure: Plan an outdoor adventure such as hiking, kayaking, stand-up paddleboarding, or even a guided tour. Getting out into nature can be a refreshing change of pace from wedding planning and a great way to bond with your best man.
- Cooking Class: Taking a cooking class together can be a fun and interactive pre-wedding activity. Look for a class that focuses on a cuisine you both enjoy or that teaches you something new. It can be a great way to learn some new skills and create delicious memories together.
- Brewery Tour and Tasting: If you and your best man appreciate craft beer, consider taking a tour of a local brewery and tasting some unique brews. Many breweries offer guided tours and tasting sessions, which can be a fun and laid-back way to spend an afternoon.
- Coffee and Conversation: For a more low-key option, invite your best man out for coffee and a heart-to-heart conversation. This can be a great opportunity to catch up, share your thoughts and feelings about the wedding, and strengthen your bond before the big day.
Remember, when planning these activities, consider your best man's availability, interests, and personality. The key is to create an enjoyable and memorable experience that celebrates your friendship and sets the tone for the wedding festivities to come.
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Giving a small gift
Asking someone to be your best man is a big deal, and it can be a nerve-racking experience. You want to impress your pal and mark the moment, so why not give them a small gift to do the asking for you?
A Personalised Gift
A gift that is personalised for your friend is a great way to show how much you value your relationship. You could give them a personalised print, such as a movie-style art print or a colourful print with scope for in-jokes. If you want something more subtle, you could opt for a monogrammed glass or a pocket watch.
A Gift Box
Curating a gift box for your friend is a thoughtful way to ask them to be your best man. You can include a variety of small gifts, such as socks, a tie, cufflinks, a hip flask, a wallet, or a book. You could even add a handwritten note to the box, asking the question in your own words.
Alcohol-Related Gifts
Alcohol-related gifts are a classic choice when it comes to asking someone to be your best man. You could give them a bottle of their favourite spirit, such as a single malt whisky, or a cocktail gift box so they can craft their own drinks at home. If your friend enjoys cigars, you could give them a personalised cigar case and cutter, or a standard cigar attached to a letter asking the question.
Activity-Related Gifts
If you and your friend share a favourite activity, you could give them a small gift related to that hobby. For example, if they love golf, you could give them a set of personalised golf balls. Or, if they're into cycling, you could give them a book about epic bike rides around the world.
Practical Gifts
A practical gift is always useful, especially if it's something your friend can use on the wedding day. You could give them a stylish travel tumbler, a wooden valet tray, a set of packing cubes, or an insulated coffee mug. If you want to add a personal touch, you can include a handwritten note or get the gift engraved with their initials.
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Making a grand gesture
Plan a Special Outing
Plan a special outing or event around your shared favourite activities or hobbies. For example, if you and your friend love golfing, ask them during a round of golf or while you're enjoying a drink at the clubhouse. If you're both fans of the same football team, invite them over to watch a game and ask during halftime. This adds a personal touch to your proposal and makes it memorable.
Gifts and Cards
If you're not great with emotional conversations, you can express your feelings through a thoughtful gift or card. There are many "Will you be my best man?" gifts available, such as personalised t-shirts, golf balls, whisky glasses, or even a pocket watch. You could also send a card, which can be as simple or sentimental as you like. Cards are a great keepsake and can be tailored with inside jokes, nostalgic memories, or reasons why the person is meaningful to you.
Engrave Their Favourite Bottle
If your friend has a favourite alcoholic drink, you can creatively ask them to be your best man by engraving a personalised message on their favourite bottle. You could also include a custom mug or glass with the proposal written on it as something they can keep.
Subscription Box
Subscription boxes have become very popular, and you can use this trend to your advantage. Select a subscription box that represents your friend or your relationship and include a formal invitation as a groomsman inside. This is a unique way to surprise them with a gift and your proposal.
Cigar and Humidor
A cigar represents the unique sense of brotherhood between good friends, making it a perfect groomsmen invitation idea. You can secure the cigar to a piece of quality stationery or an envelope with a letter inside, asking them to accept your proposal. Alternatively, you could give them a personalised humidor as a gift.
Remember, while making a grand gesture can be fun and memorable, it's not necessary. What matters most is that you're asking someone important to you to be a part of your special day.
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Asking during a shared activity
Asking your best mate to be your best man during a shared activity is a great way to make your request feel more personal. It's a good idea to choose an activity that has a special meaning for the two of you. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Golfing
If you and your best mate have been golfing together for years, why not ask them to be your best man while you're enjoying a round of golf? You could even get creative and have a custom golf ball made with your request engraved on it.
Sports Game
If you and your soon-to-be best man are big fans of a particular sports team, invite them to watch a game with you and pop the question during halftime. Alternatively, you could treat them to tickets to see your favourite team play and ask them before the game starts.
Outdoor Activities
If you and your friend enjoy outdoor activities, why not plan a day out doing something active that has a special meaning for both of you? This could be skiing, paintball, pickleball or even a hike. You could also invite all your groomsmen to a group activity and ask them all at the same time.
A Night Out
An evening out with your best mate can also be a great opportunity to pop the question. Get tickets to see your favourite band or comedian, or go for a nice dinner and ask them during the evening.
A Gift
If your friend lives far away or you're not able to meet up in person, you could send them a gift with your request. This could be a simple card, or you could get creative and send them a box of their favourite things, a custom bottle of their favourite drink, or a pair of tickets to an event.
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Frequently asked questions
No, you don't need to make a big deal out of it. While some people may prefer to make a grand gesture, others may opt for a simple, straightforward approach. Ultimately, it's a personal preference, and there is no right or wrong way to ask.
There are several creative ways to pop the question, such as:
- Planning an activity you both enjoy, like golfing or watching a game, and asking during that time.
- Sending a thoughtful card, either with a simple question or one that includes a nostalgic or humorous message.
- Giving a gift, such as a personalised item, an experience, or something related to the wedding, like a tie or cufflinks.
- Engraving the question on their favourite bottle of alcohol or gifting them a nice bottle with an attached note.
It's important to consider the person you're asking and their interests. For example, if they don't drink alcohol, avoid giving them alcohol-related gifts. Try to personalise the gift to their likes and hobbies as much as possible.
It's a good idea to ask your best man at least six months before the wedding. This gives them enough time to plan and make arrangements, especially if they need to request time off work or travel.
