Writing Your Wedding Vows: Choosing The Right Paper For Your Everlasting Promises

Writing your wedding vows on paper is a beautiful way to profess your love and commitment to your partner. While some couples may choose to recite traditional vows, others prefer to write personalised messages that reflect their unique relationship. Whether you're an experienced writer or not, the process can be daunting, so here are some tips to help you get started.

First, it's important to start early and give yourself plenty of time to brainstorm and edit. Begin by reflecting on your relationship and jotting down your thoughts and feelings. Think about why you want to marry this person, what experiences you've shared, and how you see your future together. Be specific and focus on unique details and anecdotes that showcase your love story.

Next, consider the structure and length of your vows. Most vows follow a basic format, including addressing your partner, recounting your love story, expressing admiration, making promises, and envisioning your future together. Keep your vows concise, aiming for around 2-5 minutes in length.

Finally, don't forget to practice reciting your vows. Read them aloud to get comfortable with the flow and pacing, and consider memorising them so you can be fully present with your partner during the ceremony.

Remember, your wedding vows are a declaration of your love, so speak from the heart and let your true personality shine through.

How to start writing your vows

Writing your wedding vows can be a stressful task, but it doesn't have to be! Here are some tips on how to start writing your vows:

Reflect on Your Relationship

Take a trip down memory lane and reminisce about the special moments that have defined your relationship. Think about how you met, the milestones and challenges you've faced together, and the moments that made you realise your partner was "the one".

Identify Your Promises

Think about the promises you want to make to your partner during your vows. Reflect on your values and the foundation of your relationship. Consider any traditions or religious elements you want to incorporate. Remember, your promises can be both serious and lighthearted!

Express Your Love

Communicate your love in a way that is personal and meaningful. Include nicknames, inside jokes, and specific qualities you love about your partner. Don't be afraid to make your partner laugh and show your unique dynamic as a couple.

Acknowledge Your Partner

Express your gratitude and appreciation for your partner. Mention a time when they helped you through a difficult period or supported you during a challenging time.

Envision Your Future Together

Paint a picture of your future as a couple. Share your hopes, dreams, and goals for the life you'll build together. Talk about the family you hope to have or the adventures you want to embark on.

Keep it Authentic

Stay true to yourself and your relationship. Whether you're funny, sentimental, or concise, let your personality shine through. Your vows should echo the tone of your wedding and your unique love story.

Make a Plan

Create a structure for your vows to keep them organised and ensure they flow naturally. A simple format you can follow is to include an introduction, a reflection on your relationship, qualities and appreciation for your partner, your promises, a vision for the future, and a powerful closing statement of love.

The length of your vows

Two minutes of speaking is about 300 words for the average person, or about half the length of this entire response. If you tend to speak quickly, especially when nervous, your vows may come in shorter than you expect. So, it's a good idea to practice reading your vows slowly and clearly, and time yourself to get a sense of their length.

If your vows are too long, you can edit them by removing flowery adverbs, cutting anything that's repetitive, and sticking to the most critical points. If they're too short, you can add in some promises to your partner and a brief story or meaningful quote.

It's also a good idea to check in with your partner to make sure your vows are about the same length and tone. You don't want one partner to have lengthy, sentimental vows, and the other to come in with something short and humorous.

• Start crafting your vows early so you have plenty of time to find inspiration and refine your words.
• Agree with your partner on the style, format, and tone of your vows. Will you include inside jokes or stick to romantic promises?
• Write down all your thoughts about your partner and your relationship. Then, go back and highlight your favourite items to include in the final draft.
• Write no more than three drafts. Continuously editing may cause you to overthink and lose sight of the bigger picture.
• Focus on the most important details, such as when you first met or said "I love you."
• Avoid absolute words like "always" and "never" in your promises.
• Be sentimental and don't worry about coming across as corny.
• Include some humour to make the moment more relatable and enjoyable.
• Seek inspiration from pop culture, such as movies, TV shows, books, or songs.

Remember, your vows are a chance to speak from the heart and share your true feelings. Don't stress too much about the length; focus on expressing your love and commitment to your partner.

How to personalise your vows

Writing your own wedding vows is a great way to add a personal touch to your ceremony and celebrate what makes your relationship unique. Here are some tips to help you craft heartfelt and meaningful vows:

• Discuss with your partner: While surprising your partner with your vows can be tempting, it's important to sync up on themes, tone, and delivery. Discuss whether you want to include embarrassing stories, the desired tone, length, and the general timeline of your love story.
• Start early: Don't procrastinate! Give yourself plenty of time to reflect on your relationship and choose the most important moments and memories to include.
• Include your promises: Vows are a serious, lifelong commitment. Include concrete promises that are meaningful to you and your partner. For example, you can vow to always be there for your partner through thick and thin or to support their dreams and aspirations.
• Share personal stories: Recount romantic stories, funny anecdotes, or inspiring narratives about overcoming challenges together. These stories will make your vows more engaging and meaningful for your partner and guests.
• Acknowledge your loved ones: Your friends and family have played a role in enhancing your relationship, and you'll need their support throughout your marriage. Acknowledge their presence and express your gratitude for their love and support.
• Edit and practice: Once you've drafted your vows, edit them to ensure they are clear, concise, and authentic. Practice reciting them aloud, and consider asking a trusted friend for feedback.
• Keep them a surprise: While syncing up with your partner is important, keeping the specifics of your vows a surprise can make the moment more impactful and emotional.

Remember, your wedding vows are a reflection of your love and commitment to your partner. Be authentic, speak from the heart, and don't be afraid to infuse them with your unique personality and style.

How to deliver your vows

Practice makes perfect

Give yourself the confidence to deliver your vows on the big day by practising reading your heartfelt promises aloud. This will help you identify any spots where the grammar might be unclear or where you’re missing a word. Practising will also help you work out whether your promises are clear and complete.

Indicate pauses and intonation

Your vows are filled with meaning, so speaking quickly and mumbling will take away from the moment and prevent your audience from engaging with the content. Allow time to laugh or tear up without interrupting your flow. Take it slow and focus on breaks, pauses, and intonation.

Ask a trusted friend to listen

To prepare for the actual vow exchange, ask a close friend who is a great sounding board (and a pro at keeping secrets) to listen as you rehearse. They can give you constructive criticism and help you improve your vows to make sure you get your meaning across.

It’s common to mumble or speak softly when reading

So practise your vows to make sure your family and friends will hear you. These are words that are meant to be heard by the assembled crowd, so check how they sound when spoken. Read your vows out loud to make sure they flow easily and watch out for tongue twisters and run-on sentences. Then, practise slowing down and speaking clearly.

Don’t forget to add that you’ll be there even when times get rough

Reassure your partner that this is for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.

When to write your vows

Writing your own wedding vows can be a daunting task, but it's important to remember that there is no one-size-fits-all approach. The most important thing is that your vows are authentic to you and your partner. Here are some tips on when to start writing your vows and what to include:

• Start early: While it may be tempting to leave vow writing until the last minute, it's best to give yourself plenty of time. Some sources suggest starting three months before the wedding to avoid feeling rushed or overwhelmed.
• Talk to your partner: It's important to decide together if you want to write your own vows or stick to traditional vows. If you choose to write your own, discuss the length, tone, and format you want to use.
• Reflect on your relationship: Take time to think about what your partner means to you and what makes your relationship special. Consider the promises you want to make and the challenges you've overcome together.
• Brainstorm and outline: Before worrying about the final product, just get all your thoughts and ideas down on paper. Then, you can start to organise them into a structure that works for you.
• Keep it concise: While it may be tempting to include everything you love about your partner, aim to keep your vows concise. Most vows are between one and five minutes long when read aloud.
• Practice: Don't forget to practice reading your vows aloud. This will help you with delivery and allow you to edit any parts that don't flow well. It's also a good idea to share your vows with your partner or a close friend to get feedback.
• Be authentic: Your vows should sound like you, so don't be afraid to inject some personality and humour into them. However, remember that your vows are a public declaration of your love and commitment, so avoid anything too cryptic or embarrassing.

Frequently asked questions