Wedding Ang Pow: The Art Of Congratulatory Cash

Wedding Ang Pow, also known as a red envelope or red packet, is a customary gift for newlyweds in Asian weddings. While there are no strict rules on the amount to give, it is considered polite to include enough money to cover the cost of your meal, and perhaps a little extra if you are close to the couple. The number 8 is considered auspicious in Chinese culture, so it is recommended to include at least one in your amount, while the number 4 is considered inauspicious and should be avoided. When it comes to what to write on the Ang Pow, it is common to include a short message of congratulations and well wishes. Some guests may also include their name, especially if they want the couple to know who the gift is from.

Include your name

Including your name when giving a wedding Ang Pao (red envelope/red packet containing money) is a matter of personal preference and there is no definitive rule on whether to do so or not. Here are some reasons why you may want to include your name:

Keeping Records

Some families keep a record of how much each guest gives so that they can give at least the same amount, or more, when their friends and family get married. By including your name, you can ensure that the hosts know how much you gave and can expect a similar amount in return in the future. This also helps the couple keep track of who has given Ang Paos, especially if they are collected by designated people at different tables.

Courtesy to the Couple

Including your name is a courtesy to the couple so that they know who the gift is from. This can be a nice way to express your well-wishes and ensure the couple knows that the gift is from you. This is especially important if you are close to the couple and want them to know that you are celebrating their special day with them.

Expressing Gratitude

In some Chinese wedding traditions, specific Ang Paos are given to express gratitude to different people. For example, the groom gives an "Open Car Door Ang Bao" to a younger male sibling or relative of the bride who helps open the car door for him. Including your name on the Ang Pao can help the recipient know who the gift is from and express your gratitude more personally.

Cultural Considerations

In Chinese culture, the number "8" is considered auspicious and sounds like the word for prosperity in Mandarin and other Chinese dialects. Including your name on the Ang Pao and expressing your well-wishes can be a nice way to add a personal touch and bring extra happiness and prosperity to the couple's marriage.

Ultimately, the decision to include your name on a wedding Ang Pao is up to you. You may consider the level of your relationship with the couple, the cultural context of the wedding, and your own preferences when making your decision.

Amounts with an '8'

When attending a wedding, it is common to gift the newlyweds with a monetary contribution, often given in a red packet, or "ang pow," as a symbol of good luck and prosperity. The amount given is typically based on cultural traditions and personal preferences, with the number 8 often considered lucky in Chinese culture. Here are some guidelines on what to write on wedding ang pow amounts featuring the number 8:

"$88 - For Close Friends and Relatives: This amount is suitable for those with a close relationship with the bride or groom. It signifies double happiness and blessings for the couple, wishing them a life filled with joy and prosperity. Write your warmest wishes and include your name, addressing the couple or either of them personally."

"$188 - For Bestowing Heartfelt Blessings: If you want to express your happiness and bestow your sincere blessings upon the newlyweds, consider gifting them with $188. This amount symbolizes a triple blessing and is believed to bring wealth and abundance to the couple. Your message could include a heartfelt quote and personal wishes for their future together."

"$288 - For A Special Blessing: Opt for $288 if you're looking to give a truly special and memorable gift. This amount is often chosen by those who are especially close to the couple, like immediate family members or best friends. Your message on the ang pow could read, 'May your love grow stronger with each passing day,' followed by your name and well wishes."

"$688 - For A Grand Gesture: Gifting $688 is certainly a generous gesture and is often chosen by those who want to showcase their love and support for the newlyweds in a grand manner. It could be parents or extremely close relatives who wish to contribute to the couple's new journey together. Your message on the ang pow envelope might say, 'Wishing you a lifetime of love, laughter, and all the happiness in the world.'"

Remember, these are just suggestions, and you can always adjust the amount and message according to your relationship with the couple and your personal preferences. The key is to convey your happiness and best wishes for the newlyweds as they embark on their new life together.

Avoid the number '4'

When it comes to writing on wedding Ang Pow, it is considered a courteous gesture to include your name and well wishes, so the couple knows who the gift is from. Some families keep a record of how much each guest gives, so they can give back at least the same amount when their friends and family get married.

However, if you don't want your name on the Ang Pow, you can try a few tactics. One suggestion is to simply not write your name and just include a short note of congratulations. Another idea is to use a stamp with your name instead of writing it out. If you don't want to be identified at all, you could put the money in without an Ang Pow packet, although this may be considered impolite.

Now, when it comes to the number 4, it is generally advised to avoid this number when giving money in Ang Pow. In Chinese, the pronunciation of the number 4 ('sì') is very similar to the pronunciation of the word for 'death' ('sǐ'). Superstition dictates that you avoid amounts ending in 4 or any amount with the number 4 in it. Even numbers are generally considered more auspicious, as odd numbers denote loneliness. So, sticking to even numbers that don't include a 4 is a safe bet!

• RM10 for someone you don't know too well, like a casual acquaintance or building staff.
• RM50-100 for someone you know and care about, like friends, family, and loved ones.

Congratulatory wishes

When writing congratulatory wishes on a wedding Ang Pow, it is important to keep your message sweet, congratulatory, and personalised to the couple. For colleagues, business associates, or distant relatives, it is best to stick to timeless and traditional wedding wishes with a formal tone, while keeping the message concise. Here are some examples:

> "Congratulations on your marriage! May it be full of love and joy."

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> "Best wishes on your wedding day."

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> "We wish you all the best as you enter this joyful union."

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> "May the joy of today light all of your years ahead."

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> "May today be the beginning of a wonderful journey together."

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> "Wishing you a lifetime of love and happiness."

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> "May your marriage be even more beautiful than your wedding."

For friends, it is appropriate to write more casual messages on the Ang Pow or in the wedding guestbook. It is perfectly acceptable to write a brief and simple message, but be sure to include warm wishes for the couple's future. Here are some examples:

> "Congrats! We're so happy for you!"

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> "Wishing you lots of love and happiness!"

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> "Here's to a long and happy marriage!"

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> "So happy to celebrate your wedding day with you! Congrats!"

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> "And so your adventure begins."

When welcoming a new family member into the family, your wedding wishes can express your happiness and warmth. Here are some examples:

> "We're so happy to welcome you into the family! Best wishes to you both."

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> "Congratulations on your marriage, and welcome to the family!"

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> "What a wonderful addition to the family! Our heartfelt wishes for a long and happy future together."

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> "We're so happy [name] has found The One. Welcome to the family!"

For a sibling, your wedding wishes can be more personal and include a childhood anecdote or a favourite memory. Here are some examples for inspiration:

> "I always wanted a brother/sister and now I get one. I'm so glad you two found each other!"

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> "You've always been my best friend, and today I couldn't be happier to share that spot with someone who makes you so happy. Congratulations!"

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> "I'm so thankful to have a brother/sister like you! Lots of love to you and your new wife/husband!"

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> "Finally, I get the bathroom to myself and someone else can shout at you to hurry up in the mornings! Congratulations on your wedding day, and all my love and best wishes for a long and happy marriage."

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> "Today I gain another sibling! My biggest congratulations to you both and deepest wishes for a marriage filled with love and happiness."

If you have a close relationship with the couple and know they would appreciate a laugh, you can include a funny message in your Ang Pow. However, exercise caution to avoid offensive jokes or those that could be perceived as insulting. Here are some examples of light-hearted wedding wishes:

> "Marriage is a walk in the park—Jurassic Park."

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> "Always pick each other, pick your battles, and pick up your socks."

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> "You two go together like kaya and butter."

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> "Congrats on your Facebook status update!"

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> "Congratulations on finding that one special person to annoy for the rest of your life."

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> "It's now the two of you against the rest of us!"

You can also include happy and positive marriage quotes to add meaning and significance to your wedding wishes. Here are some quotes about marriage that are sure to inspire warm feelings:

> "A successful marriage involves falling in love many times, always with the same person." – Mignon McLaughlin

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> "Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife." – Franz Schubert

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> "To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with." – Mark Twain

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> "You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams." – Dr. Seuss

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> "When you realise you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." – When Harry Met Sally

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> "Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It's a choice." – Fawn Weaver

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> "The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace." – Fawn Weaver

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> "A good marriage is each for the other and two against the world." – Robert Brault

No need to attend

If you can't attend a wedding, it is still considered polite to send a gift to the newlyweds to express your good wishes. This could be a thoughtful message in a wedding card, a physical present, or a wedding ang pow.

If you choose to send a wedding ang pow, you may want to include your name and a short note of congratulations and well wishes. This is a courtesy to the couple, so they know the gift is from you. You may also want to consider including an auspicious amount, such as an amount ending with an "8" if it is a Chinese wedding, an amount ending with a "1" if it is an Indian wedding, or a green packet if it is a Malay wedding.

• "Wishing you a lifetime of love, happiness, and laughter. I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you, but my heart is with you both on your special day."
• "Congratulations on your wedding! I'm sorry I couldn't be there in person, but please know that I'm sending you all my love and best wishes for a long and happy marriage."
• "Your love story has always been one of my favourites, and I am thrilled to see you both beginning this incredible journey. I'm sorry I can't be there, but I'm sending all my love and best wishes."

Remember, it is not a must to adhere to market rates or auspicious numbers when preparing your gift. Ultimately, your gifts and well-wishes should always come from the heart!

Frequently asked questions