The Etiquette Of Wedding Rsvps: To Sign Or Not To Sign?

When it comes to wedding RSVPs, there are a few key components to include. Firstly, it is standard to have a blank line for guests to write their names, often with an “M” at the start to indicate their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss). This ensures the hosts know who is attending and how to spell their names correctly for the seating chart. Some couples choose to write the names of their guests on the RSVP cards before sending them out for clarity. The RSVP should also include an accept or decline option, usually in the form of checkboxes, circling, or fill-in-the-blank lines. It is also helpful to include a way for guests to indicate the number of attendees and their dietary requirements or food preferences if there are multiple options. Finally, a fun addition could be a space for song requests to get guests excited about the reception.

Guests should write their names

When it comes to wedding RSVPs, it is standard practice for guests to write their names. This is an important step, as it guarantees that the couple knows who is attending and how to correctly spell everyone's name on the seating chart. Leaving a blank line with an 'M' at the start is a traditional way to indicate that guests should include their honorific (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name.

There are a few reasons why guests writing their names is beneficial. Firstly, it ensures that the couple knows exactly who is coming, especially if only certain people from a family are invited. Secondly, it helps the couple with their planning, as they can use the guest list to create a final headcount for the caterers and to organise seating arrangements. Finally, it can be useful for the couple to have a record of who attended their wedding for future reference or to send thank-you notes.

Some couples may choose to pre-fill the names on the RSVP cards to avoid any confusion or to ensure neat handwriting. This can be done by hand or by printing the names, although this may incur additional costs. Alternatively, guests' names can be written on the back of each RSVP card in invisible ink that can be read under a black light. This way, if an unnamed card is received, the couple can easily identify who sent it.

It is also important to include a stamped, addressed envelope with the RSVP card to make it easy for guests to respond and to ensure they don't have to pay for postage.

Include an 'M' to indicate titles

When sending out wedding invitations, it's important to include an RSVP card so that guests can let you know if they will be attending. This is crucial for finalising your guest list and planning your wedding budget.

On a formal RSVP card, the first thing to include is a blank line for guests to write their names, with an "M" at the start of the line. This indicates that guests should include their proper title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss) before their name. This guarantees that you know who is attending your wedding and that you can correctly spell everyone's names on the seating chart.

• For a single guest: "Ms. Jane Smith" or "Mr. Adam Smith".
• For a married couple with the same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. Adam Smith" or "Mr. Adam and Mrs. Jane Smith".
• For a married couple with different last names: "Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe" or "Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Smith".
• For an unmarried couple: "Miss Jane Smith and Mr. John Doe" or "Mr. John Doe and Miss Jane Smith".

If you are sending invitations to families, you can address the envelope to "The [surname] Family". This indicates that the whole family, including children, is invited. If you would prefer not to invite children, address the invitation to the parents' names only.

It is also helpful to include an RSVP deadline of around four weeks before the wedding date, so that you can finalise the guest list and other details such as food and drink requirements.

Add a deadline for responses

When it comes to wedding RSVPs, timing is everything. You'll want to give your guests enough time to make travel arrangements if necessary, but not so much time that they put off responding and forget. It's important to set an RSVP deadline and stick to it.

So, when should wedding RSVPs be due? The sweet spot for your RSVP due date is around three to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to organize your final guest list and figure out who hasn't responded yet. It's also important for finalizing details with your vendors, such as how much food you'll need and how many tables and chairs to set up.

If you send your wedding invitations six to eight weeks before the wedding, that gives your guests enough time to decide and respond without leaving too much room for procrastination. You can also send a friendly reminder to RSVP about a week before the deadline to ensure you get responses on time.

For a destination wedding, it's best to send invitations at least two to three months in advance and set the RSVP deadline for four to six weeks before the wedding. This is because guests may need more time to plan their travel and accommodations.

If your RSVP deadline has passed, wait about a week before sending follow-ups to guests who haven't responded. It's also a good idea to give guests a few different ways to respond, such as by mail, phone, or online through your wedding website.

Remember, an accurate guest count is vital to completing your wedding planning checklist, so the sooner you know who's coming, the better!

Provide checkboxes for 'accept' or 'decline'

Providing checkboxes for "accept" or "decline" on your wedding RSVP cards is a great way to make it easy for your guests to respond, and for you to get a clear picture of your guest count. Here are some tips and suggestions for including these checkboxes:

Wording and Formatting

Format the "accept" and "decline" options as checkboxes to make it simple for your guests to indicate their response. You can use wording such as:

• "Accepts with pleasure/Declines with regret"
• "Will attend/Unable to attend"
• "Yasss, let's party!/No, party on without me" for a more informal tone

Online RSVPs

If you are collecting RSVPs through your wedding website, you can also provide checkboxes for accepting or declining the invitation. This can be done through a user-friendly online form, where guests can easily select their response and provide additional information.

Deadline

Be sure to include an RSVP deadline that is prominent and noticeable on the card. This is crucial for your planning and coordination with vendors. Set the deadline for around four weeks before the wedding date, and consider including a friendly reminder for your guests a week or so before the deadline.

Additional Information

Along with the checkboxes for accepting or declining, you may want to include a line for guests to write their names, especially if you are expecting guests who do not know each other well. This will help you create a seating chart and ensure you know who is attending.

Additionally, if you are serving dinner, you can include checkboxes for entrée options and a fill-in-the-blank line for any dietary restrictions.

Other Considerations

While providing checkboxes for "accept" or "decline" is practical and efficient, there are a few other considerations to keep in mind:

• Etiquette: While not mandatory, it is considered good etiquette to include a physical RSVP card and a pre-addressed, stamped envelope for responses. This is especially helpful for less tech-savvy guests who may find an online RSVP confusing.
• Online RSVPs: If you choose to collect RSVPs through your wedding website, ensure you provide clear instructions on how to do so, including the URL and deadline.
• Phone RSVP: You can also provide a phone number as an alternative option for guests who prefer not to use the website or mail their response.

Sample Wording

[Guest name]

___ Accepts with pleasure

___ Declines with regret

___ # of guests attending (if applicable)

___ Entrée option 1

___ Entrée option 2

Any dietary restrictions or allergies:

Include a space for dietary requirements

Dietary requirements are an essential detail to include on your wedding RSVP card. Asking for them in a straightforward way acts as a reminder for your guests to inform you if they are vegetarian, vegan, or have any allergies that you need to make your caterers aware of.

You can include a line that says "Dietary Restrictions" or "Food Restrictions/Allergies" and those who have them will understand and fill it out. If you are offering a choice of entrees, you can also include a line for guests to write down the initials of each guest next to the option they want.

If you are collecting RSVPs online, you can add a text box in the last step of the RSVP process for guests to leave a comment about their dietary restrictions or allergies. This information can then be added to your guest list and shared with your caterers.

If you are concerned about guests adding extra dietary requirements that are not necessary, you can ask them to contact you directly about their restrictions. This way, you can follow up with each guest individually to clarify any questions or concerns.

Including a space for dietary requirements on your wedding RSVP card is a great way to ensure that your guests' needs are accommodated and that everyone can enjoy the meal on your special day.

Frequently asked questions