Best Man Speech: Guide, Tips, And Purpose

The best man's speech is a wedding tradition where the groom's closest friend or family member delivers a speech honouring the newlyweds. It is an opportunity to share meaningful insights about the groom's character, celebrate the couple's unique love story, and create a memorable moment during the reception. The speech should be engaging, witty, and delivered with a slightly exaggerated style. It should also strike a balance between humorous memories and thoughtful anecdotes.

How to start a best man speech

The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, and getting it right is essential. While it's just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will last a lifetime. Here are some tips on how to start your best man speech and make it memorable.

Know Your Purpose

The best man's speech should be memorable, heartfelt, and engaging. It should unite the guests in shared celebration, provide unique insights into the groom's character, welcome the partner into your circle of friends, and create lasting memories for the couple.

Understand the Structure

A well-structured speech guides guests through an emotional journey while maintaining their interest. Think of your speech as a story with distinct chapters, each serving a specific purpose.

A. Opening (30-45 seconds)

Start by establishing your connection to the couple and expressing gratitude for being chosen as the best man. You can opt for a traditional, humorous, or heartfelt opening.

B. Middle Section (4-5 minutes)

This is where you share meaningful stories, highlight the groom's character, and describe how he met his partner. It's a chance to be creative, fun, and imaginative.

C. Closing (30 seconds)

Conclude with a call to action for the guests, such as raising a glass in a toast to the couple.

Prepare and Practice

Preparation and practice are key to delivering a successful speech.

A. Get Started Early

Start writing your speech at least two months in advance to avoid last-minute stress and ensure a well-crafted speech.

B. Know Your Audience

Be mindful of cultural sensitivity, venue dynamics, and audience demographics. Avoid controversial topics such as ex-partners, political or religious views, inside jokes, and embarrassing personal moments.

C. Practice Makes Perfect

Practice your speech multiple times to build confidence and reduce nerves. Time your speech to keep it concise and impactful, and have a shorter version ready in case you need to adjust on the day.

Engage the Audience

A. Connect with the Guests

Break the ice with a light-hearted joke or an icebreaker to warm up the guests and calm your nerves.

B. Share Stories

Select anecdotes that reveal the groom's character while entertaining the guests. Share stories that showcase his positive qualities, such as his generosity or friendliness.

C. Be Yourself

Stay true to your natural style. If you're comfortable with cracking jokes, go for it. If you're better at being sentimental, leave the guests misty-eyed. The couple chose you because they value what you bring to their special day.

Final Checks

A. Pre-Speech Checklist

Eat something light two hours before, limit alcohol, check the microphone setup, have water within reach, and keep your speech notes easily accessible.

B. Emergency Backup Plans

Always have contingency plans. Keep printed copies of your speech, have a shortened version ready, and save it on your phone.

Enjoy the Moment

Remember, your main job is to enjoy yourself. The groom chose you because he wants you to celebrate this moment with him. So relax, smile, and let your enthusiasm shine through!

How to structure a best man speech

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. It's a chance to celebrate your friendship with the groom and his new spouse and to share some fun stories and heartfelt moments. Here's a guide on how to structure your best man speech to make it engaging and memorable.

Begin your speech by breaking the ice with a light-hearted joke or a well-chosen one-liner. This will warm up the guests and help calm your nerves. It's also a great way to set a friendly and playful tone for the rest of your speech. You can even make a joke about your own unpreparedness or how nervous you are.

After the icebreaker, introduce yourself, especially if not everyone in the room knows you. Share how you met the groom and how long you've known each other. You can also add a humorous tale about your first encounter or a funny observation about the day to add some levity to your introduction.

Messages and Acknowledgments

The couple may ask you to read out messages and well-wishes from friends and family who couldn't attend the wedding. This is a lovely gesture and can be made even more meaningful or light-hearted by including some fake messages from celebrities or notable figures.

Stories and Anecdotes

Now it's time to dive into some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and the happy couple. This is the heart of your speech, where you get to share some funny or touching moments. Pick out stories that showcase the groom's personality and unique qualities. Exaggerate slightly for effect, but remember to keep things friendly and respectful.

If you want to include props, opt for a slideshow of photos or a theme that ties into the stories you're telling. You can also write a humorous poem or a "top 5" countdown of the groom's most hilarious moments.

Words of Wisdom and Compliments

Offer some light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you're married, you can share some tips from your own experience, or ask friends and family of the couple for their words of wisdom on love, compromise, and everyday living.

Take a moment to compliment the couple, especially the groom's new spouse. Share a memory of when you knew they were meant to be together, or reflect on their positive impact on each other's lives.

Acknowledge the Bridal Party

If there is a bridal party, take a moment to thank the bridesmaids for their role on the day and their contributions leading up to the wedding.

Final Toast

Conclude your speech by raising a glass to the happy couple. Wish them a future filled with happiness, love, and all the best. You can also include one final punchline or a personalized quote capturing your hopes for their future together.

Timing and Delivery

The ideal length for a best man's speech is around 5 to 7 minutes. Keep your speech concise and engaging, and avoid rambling or going off-topic. Practice your speech beforehand, and if you're nervous, consider printing it out or writing down key points on note cards to help you stay on track.

Remember to smile and express yourself during your delivery. Use hand gestures and vary your tone and pace to match the content of your speech. Make eye contact with different sections of the room to ensure everyone feels included.

And most importantly, enjoy the moment! Your enthusiasm and genuine care for the couple will shine through and make your speech memorable.

How to tell stories in a best man speech

The best man speech is a chance to unite the room in celebration and honour your friend and his new spouse. It's a daunting task, but a rewarding one. Here's how to craft a speech that will be remembered for years to come.

Choose Your Stories

Think about every story, anecdote or event that involves the groom. Search your memory bank for anything humorous, interesting or endearing. Don't worry about judging your ideas at this stage, just jot them down.

• When did you first meet?
• What was their nickname at school?
• What have they gotten into trouble for?
• What triumphs or tribulations have they faced?
• What ridiculous hobbies, interests or fashion trends have they followed?

Craft Your Speech

Once you have a list of stories, it's time to get writing. A good best man speech should follow a clear structure.

• Briefly introduce yourself and set the tone with a "quick win" – get the audience laughing as soon as possible.
• Acknowledge the bride and any special guests. This is a great chance to be sincere and meaningful.
• Share how you met the groom. Pick out a few ideas from your list and feel free to exaggerate slightly for effect.
• Do something different to raise the humour – share "three life lessons" you've learned from the groom, or give a "top 5 countdown" of their most hilarious moments.
• Bring it back to the bride, their family and their future. Talk about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting their other half.
• Conclude with a toast to the couple, keeping it short and sweet.

Tell Your Stories

The key to a great best man speech is to balance humour with sincerity. Alternate between these moments to create an engaging, funny and emotional speech.

• Relax, smile and express yourself. Start with a smile – it will relax you into the speech and warm up your audience.
• Remember to gesture. Public speaking is visual as well as auditory, so get your hands out in front of you and gesture while you speak.
• Address the whole room. Share your eye contact evenly so everyone feels included.
• Keep it PG. Avoid raunchy jokes and innuendos, especially if there will be children present.
• Move around. You don't have to stay rooted to the spot – choose three spots (stage centre, stage left and stage right) and alternate between them.
• Project your voice and stick to a steady pace. Avoid filler words and speak with melody rather than a monotone.

Final Tips

• Be enthusiastic. Even if you're nervous, try to tap into your enthusiasm for your friend and their special day.
• Be prepared. Write your speech in advance and practise it. Memory works like a muscle – the more you practise, the better you'll remember.
• Keep it short and sweet. A best man speech should be concise and impactful. Aim for around 7 minutes.
• Be mindful of cultural sensitivity, venue dynamics and audience demographics.

How to end a best man speech

So, you've been chosen as the best man and now you need to write a speech. No pressure, right? Well, the good news is that the best man's speech is usually the most anticipated and enjoyed speech of the day. It's also the easiest one you'll ever give because the audience wants you to succeed and have fun.

The best man's speech is usually the last one of the day, so you'll have to make sure it's funny, engaging, and not too long. Here are some tips on how to end your speech with a bang:

Keep it Short and Sweet

As the last speaker, the guests will already have sat through several speeches, so make yours short and sweet. The ideal length is around seven minutes, but definitely no longer than ten.

Include a Toast

Traditionally, the best man toasts the newlyweds at the end of his speech. This is a great way to conclude your speech and leave the guests with a warm, fuzzy feeling. Ask everyone to raise their glasses and drink to the couple's future together. You can also include a nod to the bridesmaids if you wish.

Be Brief and Snappy

Your toast should be brief and snappy. End on a positive note and celebrate the newlyweds. You can use humour, but make sure it's not at the couple's expense. This is their big day, so keep it friendly and respectful.

Call Back to an Earlier Joke

If you've told a few jokes throughout your speech, call back to one of them for a satisfying conclusion. This will tie your speech together nicely and leave the guests with a smile on their faces.

Use a Quote

If you want to add a touch of romance or wisdom to your speech, consider ending with a quote about love or marriage. It could be something funny or heartfelt, but make sure it's not too long. You don't want to lose the attention of your audience at this crucial moment.

Thank the Hosts and Mention the Groom

If you're struggling for something to say, a simple expression of gratitude is always a good way to end. Thank the hosts and mention your relationship with the groom. This will leave a pleasant impression on the guests and honour the couple.

Wish Them Well

Offer your best wishes for the couple's future together. This is a heartfelt way to conclude your speech and show your enthusiasm for their happiness.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Finally, don't forget to practice your speech beforehand. You don't want to wing it on the day and risk rambling or freezing up. Practice in front of a mirror or record yourself to get used to the delivery. This will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech is polished and memorable.

How to prepare for a best man speech

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important duties is delivering a best man speech that is memorable, engaging, and heartfelt. Here are some tips to help you prepare and deliver an outstanding speech:

Start Early

Get a head start on your speech by jotting down ideas and anecdotes about the groom. Think about every story, incident, or event that involves him and write them down. This could be anything from embarrassing teenage phases to ridiculous stag-night antics. Don't worry about structuring your speech at this point, just focus on gathering material.

Understand the Structure

A typical best man speech includes the following elements:

• Introduction: Briefly introduce yourself as the best man and set the tone with a light-hearted icebreaker or a joke.
• Acknowledge the Bride: Take a moment to mention any special guests and contrast the humour with something sincere and meaningful.
• How You Met the Groom: Share stories about how you met and became friends. Exaggerate slightly for comedic effect if needed.
• The Special Something: Do something creative to make your speech memorable. Share "three life lessons" you've learned from the groom, write a tongue-in-cheek poem, or give a "top 5 countdown" of his most hilarious moments.
• Bride, Family & Future: Talk about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting their spouse and acknowledge their future together.
• Toast to the Couple: Keep it short and sweet, and if it feels right, throw in one final punchline to finish.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Once you've written your speech, it's time to practise delivering it. You have three main options:

• Print Out Your Speech: This is the safest option, as you don't have to rely on memory and won't go off-script. Practise sight-reading so you don't appear to be reading word-for-word.
• Use Bullet Points or Cue Cards: This gives you the freedom to speak off-the-cuff while ensuring you don't draw a complete blank.
• Memorise Your Speech: This option requires a lot of time and dedication. Aim for an hour of practice time per minute of speech.

Mindset Matters

Even with all the preparation in the world, you might still feel nervous on the day. Reframe your nerves as enthusiasm, remembering that you're there to entertain and celebrate your friend's special day.

Bonus Tips

• Keep your speech PG-rated, especially if there are children present.
• Avoid mentioning ex-partners, past relationships, political or religious views, inside jokes, and embarrassing personal moments.
• Include the bride in your speech. Talk about the positive effects the spouse has had on the groom and share a short, sweet anecdote about your experience with them.
• Keep it short and sweet. Aim for around 7 minutes, or 5 minutes maximum if you're feeling anxious about the length.

Frequently asked questions