The Wedding Party: Who Else Is Needed?

Planning a wedding and deciding who will be in your wedding party can be a stressful experience. While it is common for the groom to have a best man, it is not a requirement. If you are struggling to choose a best man, there are several alternatives to consider. You could opt to have no wedding party at all, or you could have a group of groomsmen without a designated lead. You could also choose to have a best woman or a family member, such as your father, as your honour attendant. Ultimately, the most important thing is to choose the people who are closest to you and will provide you with the support you need on your wedding day.

What I Need for My Wedding Other Than a Best Man

Bachelor party planning

Planning a bachelor party can be a stressful but exciting task. Here is a step-by-step guide to help you plan the perfect bachelor party:

Talk to the Groom

First things first, you need to talk to the groom and understand his expectations and preferences. Discuss the dos and don'ts, and any off-limits activities. While you can plan some surprises, it is best to involve the groom in the basic details such as the timing, location, and type of activities.

Finalise the Guest List

Work with the groom to create a guest list that includes his closest friends and family members. Bachelor parties are usually held for men only, but be open to the groom's suggestions and preferences.

Discuss the Budget

With the guest list decided, discuss what each person can realistically contribute to the party. The groom's expenses are usually covered by the group, so keep that in mind when planning the budget.

Pick a Theme

Now, it's time to decide on the theme of the party. Will it be a one-night bar crawl, a hiking trip, or a casino night? Knowing the general theme will help you with the other details such as the venue and activities.

Choose a Date and Location

Based on the theme and the groom's preferences, choose a date and location for the party. Try to find a date that works for the groom and the majority of the guests. The party is usually held one to three months before the wedding. Popular bachelor party destinations include Miami, Las Vegas, and Chicago.

Book Travel and Accommodations

With the guest list and theme decided, you can now book the necessary travel and accommodations such as flights and rental homes, if required.

Finalise Activities

Book any remaining activities such as restaurant reservations, event tickets, golf outings, pool days, or brewery tours. It is also a good idea to leave some downtime for your guests to relax.

Confirm Attendees and Share the Itinerary

A few weeks before the party, confirm the guest list and share a timeline of activities with the group. Include important details such as hotel information, arrival times, and contact information.

Pack and Prepare

If you are travelling to the party location, start packing and preparing any decorations, party supplies, or other items you may need.

Travel and Celebrate

Arrive at the party location early to handle any last-minute setup or preparations.

Regroup and Say Thanks

After the party, send a quick thank-you note to the group expressing your appreciation for their time and presence. You can also follow up on any outstanding expenses.

Remember, the bachelor party is all about the groom, so ensure that you keep his preferences in mind throughout the planning process.

Holding the rings

The Maid of Honour

The maid of honour can hold one or both of the rings during the ceremony. This is a good option if the couple feels more comfortable giving the rings to the maid of honour instead of the best man.

The Officiant

The officiant can hold the rings until it is time to exchange them. This ensures that the rings are not lost and there is no need for an awkward handover during the wedding.

A Close Family Member

The couple may feel more comfortable giving the rings to a close family member, such as their parents or a sibling. If the chosen family member is not in the wedding party, they should be seated in the front row so that the rings can be quickly accessed when needed.

The Groom

If the couple does not have a best man or prefers to keep the rings close at hand, the groom can hold on to the rings, especially if he is wearing a tux with pockets.

Ring Bearer

If the couple includes a ring bearer in their ceremony, the rings can be handed off to the best man when the ring bearer reaches the altar. However, it is recommended that the ring bearer carries a pillow or ring box with fake rings instead of the real ones.

Other Trusted Adult

The couple may choose to have another trusted adult hold the rings, such as a parent or sibling, even if they are not part of the wedding party.

Giving a speech

A best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. It's a perfect way to send your brother or friend your best wishes on their marriage. However, public speaking can be nerve-wracking. Here are some tips to help you deliver a great speech:

• Plan your speech: While it's tempting to wing it, it's best to prepare what you want to say. A great speech takes about 15-20 minutes of planning and note-making. You can use index cards to jot down your ideas and practice in front of a mirror.
• Keep it short and sweet: A best man's speech should be positive, respectful, and congratulatory, lasting around 3 to 5 minutes. Focus on the groom and his bride, and avoid making it about yourself.
• Open with a catchy line: Start with a funny joke, a compliment, or a quote about brotherhood or marriage. For example, "I'd like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man."
• Compliment the wedding: Show your appreciation for the guests by highlighting something you like about the wedding, such as the venue, food, or music.
• Express gratitude: Thank those who made the wedding possible, including the groom for choosing you as his best man.
• Tell a story: Share a short story or anecdote about your relationship with the groom. It could be about how you met, a favourite memory, or a funny experience.
• Admire the couple: Express your support for their marriage and list a few things you admire about their bond.
• Summarise your thoughts: Recap your key ideas and wishes for the couple's future.
• Toast to the future: Raise your glass and invite the audience to join you in a toast to the couple's love.

Here's an example of a short and sweet best man speech:

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. For those who I haven't met yet, my name is Chris, and I am officially Paul's second best man... second best, ladies and gentlemen... nobody likes to be second best, do they? Well, Paul, looking at his career, he should know better than most. Anyway, I am honoured to be here today, and over the next few minutes, I'll be taking you through Mark's sporting heroics, dealing with incredible loss, and being caned by people dressed as nuns... which had nothing to do with the stag do!

Over the next few minutes, we'll be talking about the man for whom Scottish Independence now means asking his English wife if he can go to the pub on the weekends. I can't help but think that an English woman telling a Scottish man he can't go to the pub would be a new low in this country's rich cultural history.

But when I first met Mark, he was in a period of transition. We met because of our mutual addiction to double-shot espressos. When we arrived at the office together three days in a row with eyes like saucers, I knew we'd be friends for life. Millions of espressos and after-work beers later, I am proud to call him my best friend. So, please join me in raising our glasses to Mark and his beautiful bride. Cheers!"

What Else You Need for a Wedding Other Than a Best Man

While the best man plays a crucial role in the wedding, there are a few other things you might want to consider:

• Wedding Planner: If you don't have a best man, a wedding planner can help with various duties, such as exchanging rings, gifts, and ensuring you have your favourite drink.
• Support on the Wedding Day: You might want someone by your side on the big day to help with practical things, like passing you drinks or tissues. This could be a parent, a friend, or a sibling.
• Bachelor Party: If you don't have a best man to plan the bachelor party, you can hire a company to organise it for you or plan it yourself if you have the time.
• Wedding Procession: If your partner has a maid of honour or best man, the wedding procession will be uneven without a best man on your side. You could have groomsmen or choose to scrap the wedding party altogether.
• Speeches: If you decide not to have a best man, you can ask a parent, mentor, or friend to give a speech instead. Alternatively, you can skip the best man speech and use that time for something else, like dancing.

Choosing wedding attire

Consider the Level of Formality

The level of formality of your wedding will dictate the attire. If you're having a black-tie wedding, formal attire is expected. This usually means floor-length gowns for women and tuxedos for men. If you're having a more casual wedding, guests can wear dressy sandals, sundresses, khaki pants, and collared shirts.

Think About the Time of Day and Season

The time of day and season of your wedding can also influence the attire. For evening weddings, darker, more formal colours are typically worn, while light colours and airy fabrics are preferred for daytime or summer weddings.

Communicate Your Expectations

It's important to communicate your expectations clearly to your wedding guests. You can include a "vibe" card along with your invitations, explaining the level of formality and any specific colour or style preferences you have. This will help your guests feel more confident in their attire choices.

Keep Your Guests in Mind

While you want your guests to dress cohesively, it's also important to keep their comfort in mind. Consider the time of year and whether your wedding will be indoors or outdoors. You don't want your guests to be uncomfortable in the chosen attire.

Provide a Clear List of Do's and Don'ts

To avoid any clashes or inappropriate attire, give your guests a clear list of what they can and cannot wear. Specify any colours or styles that are off-limits, such as white or anything that is too revealing.

Offer Suggestions for Accessories and Fabrics

If you want your wedding party to look cohesive, you can suggest accessories that would work nicely or provide guidance on fabrics. For example, if you're going for elegance, recommend satin or silk dresses and smooth tuxedos. For a more laid-back vibe, suggest cotton or seersucker outfits.

Wrangling the wedding party

Who to Choose?

The best man is usually a close friend, sibling, or family member. But it's your wedding, so you get to choose who stands by your side. You could have a best woman or even a best pup! If you're worried about your wedding party being uneven, you could have two best men or skip the wedding party altogether.

The best man's main role is to serve as the groom's right-hand man, providing support and lightening the groom's workload before, during, and after the wedding. This includes planning the bachelor party, acting as a point of contact for the groom's side, and providing emotional support. They may also help the groom and groomsmen choose their wedding attire, collect money for a gift, and hold the rings during the ceremony.

On the Day

On the day of the wedding, the best man should keep the groom and groomsmen on schedule and ensure everyone gets to the venue on time. They may also be asked to hold the groom's personal items, such as a cell phone or wallet, and welcome guests. As a close friend or family member, the best man can help connect guests and make sure everyone is having a great time.

After the Wedding

Even after the wedding is over, the best man's responsibilities continue. They may be asked to take care of the groom's clothing, return any rented attire, and check in with vendors to ensure all expenses are handled. They can also help coordinate car transportation for the newlyweds and decorate the getaway car.

Frequently asked questions