Best Man And Maid Of Honor: Toast Rehearsal Tips

The best man and maid of honor play a crucial role in the wedding ceremony and reception, with one of their key duties being the delivery of heartfelt and memorable speeches. While public speaking may not come naturally to everyone, practicing and preparing in advance can help calm nerves and ensure a smooth delivery. It is also important to tailor the speech to the couple and the audience, using appropriate language and avoiding controversial topics.

The best man and maid of honor should collaborate to ensure their speeches are distinct and complementary, covering different aspects of the couple's relationship and experiences. Practicing together can also help to build confidence and refine the delivery. Ultimately, the goal is to celebrate the newlyweds and create a lasting memory for them and the guests.

Should you have a man of honour?

Traditionally, the bridal party and groomsmen were gender-based, with the maid of honour and best man fulfilling specific roles. However, times are changing, and gender no longer defines these roles. So, if your best friend is male, why not ask them to be your man of honour? Here are some reasons why you should:

It's Unconventional in the Best Way

Guests will be pleasantly surprised by this spin on the bridal party, and it will make for some fun photo opportunities. Plus, if you're ditching other wedding traditions, like the bridal shower, you might not need a traditional maid of honour. A man of honour can bring a more relaxed approach to the planning process.

You Can Have Both a Man of Honour and a Maid of Honour

Why choose when you can have both? Having a man of honour and a maid of honour means double the fun and double the wedding help!

The Bachelorette Party

Even if your man of honour isn't interested in flowers or stationery, he might be a whiz at planning a bachelorette party to remember. Let him take the reins and plan a night to celebrate your last night as an unmarried woman.

No Dress Complaints

Finding a dress that flatters everyone in the bridal party is challenging. With a man of honour, you have one less person to worry about, and that means less wedding-related stress for you!

There's No Reason Not To

It's your wedding day, and your bridal party should reflect who you are and who has supported you over the years. If the person you're closest to is male, why not? Being a man of honour is an honour, and your friend will be thrilled to stand by your side.

What should you say?

The maid of honor's speech is a golden opportunity to celebrate the unique relationship you share with the bride. Whether your bond is rooted in years of friendship, sisterhood, or a cherished familial connection, your words should illuminate moments that reveal the bride's character, values, and shared history.

• Know your audience: Understand that your audience is diverse, comprising family members, friends, and colleagues. Tailor your speech to be inclusive and relatable to everyone present. Avoid sensitive topics or embarrassing stories that may detract from the celebratory atmosphere.
• Share personal stories: Include humorous, light-hearted, and touching anecdotes that highlight the bride's character, her relationship with the groom, and your bond with her. Evoke laughter and tears, creating a narrative thread that binds guests together.
• Express gratitude: Show appreciation to the couple, their families, and everyone who contributed to making the wedding day special. Thank the bride and groom for including you and acknowledge the hosts, parents, and other key individuals.
• Speak from the heart: Write down your speech, but don't read it word for word. Let your words flow naturally, as if you're having a casual chat with dear friends. Connect with your audience by making eye contact and infusing your speech with sincerity.
• Balance emotions and humor: A great speech evokes a mix of emotions. Sprinkle humor throughout your speech, but ensure it's appropriate and universally relatable. Avoid inside jokes and steer clear of controversial topics.
• Keep it concise: Aim for a speech that's around 3-5 minutes long. Be concise, covering the important aspects without rambling. Remember, brevity is the soul of wit!
• Engage with the audience: Encourage audience participation by asking rhetorical questions or inviting them to raise their glasses for toasts. Make your speech interactive and memorable.
• Start and end with a bang: Hook your audience from the start with a memorable opening—a heartfelt quote, a funny anecdote, or a personal touch. Similarly, conclude with a touching toast to the newlyweds, raising your glass to wish them a lifetime of happiness and love.

"Good evening everyone, my name is [Your Name], and I have the honor of being Adrian's best friend and, on this special day, her maid of honor. Our friendship began in an unlikely place—the dog park, where our pups sparked a bond that paved the way for the wonderful friendship we share today. Adrian, always the steadfast friend, is someone I can count on to lend a listening ear and offer a comforting space.

And then, along came [Groom], who perfectly complements both of our quirks and seamlessly fits into our dynamic. Their shared love for exploring sushi spots across the city led to a perfect, sushi-themed proposal. Adrian, with her unwavering loyalty, kindness, and care, has found her soulmate.

As we stand here today, I wish for them a life filled with shared adventures, endless love, and all the joy that life has to offer. So, please join me in raising a glass to Adrian and [Groom]. May your love continue to grow stronger each day, and may your life together be a journey of shared experiences and everlasting happiness. Cheers to the happy couple!"

Or, if you're the sister of the bride:

"Hello everyone! If you can't tell by now, I'm [Bride's Name]'s sister. We're only two years apart, so we've always been incredibly close. We did everything together—like that time we got gum stuck in our hair and spent hours trying to get it out. I've always looked up to [Bride's Name] and considered her a role model.

[Groom's Name], you've seamlessly become a part of our lives, and I've never seen my sister happier. You're a funny, loving person, and every time she talks about you, she gets giddy. You're perfect for each other, and I can't wait to see how your love continues to grow.

Everyone, please raise your glass to congratulate [Bride's Name] and [Groom's Name]. May each day of their married life be filled with love and laughter. Cheers!"

Remember, the key is to speak from the heart and let your affection for the couple shine through your words. Practice your speech, stay calm, and enjoy this special moment!

How should you say it?

The maid of honor's speech is a golden opportunity to celebrate the unique relationship you share with the bride and set a tone of warmth, humor, and gratitude. It is not just a formality but a deeply personal gesture that underscores the emotional significance of the day.

Know Your Audience

Understand the diverse group of guests, including family members, friends, and colleagues, and tailor your speech to be inclusive and relatable to everyone present. Avoid inside jokes that only a few will understand.

Share Personal Stories

Share anecdotes that highlight the bride's character, her relationship with the groom, and your bond with her. Evoke laughter and tears by creating a narrative thread that binds guests together.

Practice, Practice, Practice

Rehearse your speech multiple times to get the flow and pacing just right. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend to gain confidence and refine your delivery. Record yourself if possible, to get feedback on your eye contact, tone, and body language.

Express Gratitude

Thank the couple, their families, and everyone involved in making the wedding day memorable. Expressing gratitude adds a thoughtful touch to your speech and sets a positive tone.

Balance Emotions and Humor

A great speech has a mix of emotions: a sprinkle of humor, a dash of sentimentality, and a pinch of excitement. Tell a funny story and follow it up with a touching moment.

Be Yourself

Your genuine personality and enthusiasm will shine through and connect with the audience. Be authentic and sincere in your delivery, speaking from the heart and letting your love for the couple shine through.

Be Mindful of Timing

Keep your speech concise and to the point, covering the important aspects without dragging it out. Aim for around 3-5 minutes. Remember, brevity is the soul of wit!

Stay Calm and Confident

It's natural to feel nervous, but take deep breaths and smile. You've got this! Maintain eye contact with the audience, speak clearly and at a moderate pace, and use hand gestures if that's your style.

End with a Heartfelt Toast

Conclude your speech with a touching toast to the newlyweds, raising your glass high and wishing them a lifetime of happiness and love. It's the perfect way to end on a celebratory note.

What if you're nervous?

It's completely natural to feel nervous about giving a speech at your loved one's wedding. The good news is that there are several strategies you can use to calm your nerves and deliver a confident and impactful maid of honor or man of honor speech. Here are some tips to help you overcome your anxiety and own that toast!

Practice Deep Breathing

Take a few slow, deep breaths before stepping up to the microphone. Deep breathing helps lower your heart rate and calm your nerves. It's a simple yet effective technique to center yourself and ground your energy.

Prepare in Advance

Familiarize yourself with your speech by practicing it multiple times. The more you rehearse, the more comfortable and confident you'll become. Practice in front of a mirror or with close friends or family members to simulate the real experience and get valuable feedback.

Visualize Success

Visualize yourself delivering your speech with confidence and poise. Imagine the audience smiling and applauding, and see yourself speaking clearly and eloquently. This positive visualization can boost your self-assurance and reduce anxiety.

Focus on Your Connection

Remember that the audience is on your side. They are eager to hear your words and celebrate the happy couple. Shift your focus from your nerves to the connections you share with the people you care about. This reframing can help ease your anxiety.

Maintain Good Body Language

Stand tall with good posture. It not only makes you look confident but also helps you feel more empowered. Avoid folding your arms or hunching over, as these closed-off postures may project nervousness. Instead, use hand gestures naturally to emphasize your points.

Stay Calm and Collected

Speak slowly and clearly, and don't rush through your speech. Take your time and articulate your words to ensure your message is understood and well-received. Remind yourself that it's okay to feel nervous, and these nerves can even add energy and authenticity to your delivery.

Smile and Enjoy the Moment

Don't forget to smile! Smiling is infectious and creates a positive vibe in the room. It also helps you appear more relaxed and confident in photographs. So, put on a soft smile and let your joy for the occasion shine through.

Seek Support

Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members who can offer encouragement and reassurance. Their presence and kind words can help calm your nerves and provide a sense of comfort. Remember that you don't have to go through this alone.

Be Yourself

Stay true to yourself and speak from the heart. Write and deliver your speech in your natural tone and style. Authenticity resonates with the audience, and they will appreciate your sincerity. Let your genuine personality shine through.

Keep Things in Perspective

Remember that the focus of the day is the happy couple and their celebration. Your speech is just one part of it. This can help take some pressure off and remind you to enjoy the moment.

Know That Nerves Can Enhance Your Performance

A little bit of nervous energy can actually improve your delivery. It can add enthusiasm and passion to your speech, making it more engaging and memorable. Embrace those butterflies as a sign of excitement rather than fear.

Remember, It's an Honor

Being chosen as the maid or man of honor is a special honor. It reflects the depth of your relationship with the bride or groom. Remind yourself that your presence and contribution to their special day are valued and cherished.

With these tips in mind, you'll be well-equipped to manage your nerves and deliver a fantastic maid of honor or man of honor speech. Remember to breathe, stay positive, and focus on sharing your love and support for the happy couple. Cheers to a wonderful wedding celebration and a speech that will be remembered!

What if you don't want to speak?

Being asked to be the best man or maid of honor is a huge honor, but it also comes with a lot of responsibilities, including giving a speech at the wedding reception. However, if the idea of public speaking fills you with dread, you're not alone. Research shows that around 75% of people list public speaking as a major fear. So, what can you do if you've been chosen for this important role but the thought of giving a speech has you breaking out in a cold sweat?

First and foremost, it's important to remember that you don't have to do anything you're truly uncomfortable with. While giving a speech is a common tradition for the best man and maid of honor, it's not a requirement. If you're absolutely opposed to the idea of speaking in front of a crowd, it's best to be honest with the couple and let them know about your concerns as early as possible. That way, they can plan accordingly and perhaps ask another member of the wedding party to give a speech instead.

However, if you want to try to overcome your fear and give the speech a go, there are a few things you can do to make the process less daunting:

• Practice, practice, practice: The more you practice your speech, the more comfortable and confident you'll feel when it comes time to deliver it. Practice in front of a mirror, record yourself, or ask a trusted friend to listen and give you feedback.
• Don't memorize your speech word-for-word: It's important to know what you want to say, but don't try to memorize your speech perfectly. This will only add to your stress and make you more likely to stumble over your words. Instead, jot down your main points on note cards and speak naturally, as if you're having a conversation with the audience.
• Keep it short and sweet: Aim for a speech that's around 3-5 minutes long. This will make the task feel less overwhelming and help you stay focused.
• Start with a strong opening: Hook your audience from the beginning with a heartfelt quote, a funny anecdote, or a personal touch. This will set the tone for your speech and make it more engaging.
• Share heartfelt anecdotes: Your relationship with the couple is what makes your speech unique, so share stories and memories that highlight their beautiful journey and your bond with them.
• Express gratitude: Take the time to thank the couple, their families, and anyone else who has contributed to making their wedding day special. This adds a thoughtful touch to your speech and helps create a warm atmosphere.
• Be yourself: Your genuine personality and enthusiasm for the couple will shine through, so don't try to be someone you're not. Embrace who you are, and let your authenticity radiate through your words.

Remember, the most important thing is to be supportive of the couple and celebrate their love. If you're truly uncomfortable with public speaking, there are other ways to contribute to their special day, such as offering behind-the-scenes help or planning a fun activity for the guests. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with, and the couple will appreciate your honesty and willingness to help in any way you can.

Frequently asked questions