The 'M' Mystery: Wedding Invitation Etiquette Explained

If you've ever received a wedding invitation, you might have noticed a mysterious M on the RSVP card. This line often confuses people, as it is a rather old-fashioned tradition that is becoming less common. The M is simply a prompt for guests to write their titles and names—for example, Ms. Jane Smith or Mr. and Mrs. Adam Smith. The M is used in more traditional or formal invitations and stands for the first letter of the guest's title, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. While this practice is still used by some couples, many modern couples are choosing to replace the M with a more generic generic Name or Name(s) prompt, which offers more flexibility for guests.

The M is a prompt for the guest's title

The "M" on a wedding invitation is a traditional way of prompting guests to write their names and titles. It is an optional feature that can be included on RSVP cards, and it stands for the first letter of the guest's title (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, etc.).

The "M" line is usually followed by a blank line where guests are expected to write their full names and titles. For example, a single woman might write "Ms. Zoe Garrey," while a married couple might write "Mr. and Mrs. Nick Harris." The "M" is intended to be helpful, but it can also be confusing for guests who are unsure of the correct response format.

Today, many couples choose to replace the "M" with a more straightforward prompt, such as "Name" or "Name(s)," to make it easier for their guests to understand how to fill out the RSVP card. This approach is more flexible and inclusive, especially for those who do not identify with a specific title.

It is worth noting that the "M" line has been a fixture of formal invitation etiquette for at least a century and reflected the importance of a person's title, relationship, and identity. However, wedding etiquette is evolving to reflect modern relationships, and couples now have more options for how they would like to address their guests on the invitation.

The M is a traditional feature of formal invitations

The M is a time-honored tradition, a classic feature of formal invitations, and has a long history in the world of etiquette. This initial, usually printed in a prominent position, often left of the center, has a specific purpose and is a standard element in the formal world of events and weddings. Its presence is a nod to tradition and a guide for guests, offering an immediate and clear indication of the nature of the event.

The 'M' stands for 'Mister' or 'Missus', and it is the key to understanding the formality and tone of the event. It is a signal to guests that the event will be a formal affair, and they should expect a certain level of decorum and etiquette to be observed. This tradition is particularly prevalent in wedding invitations, where the formality of the event is often heightened, and the presence of the 'M' is a long-standing custom. It is a subtle way to convey important information and set the tone for the entire event.

The placement and style of the 'M' are also important. It is typically printed in an elegant font, with a classic and traditional look. The initial is often capitalized and in a larger font than the surrounding text, making it stand out and immediately catch the eye of the recipient. The 'M' is usually positioned to the left of the text, which is also a traditional placement, and it often precedes the names of the guests. This placement and style ensure that it is one of the first things noticed when the invitation is received.

This tradition is a way to communicate important details quickly and effectively, and it is an expected feature for many guests. It is a subtle way to indicate formality without having to explicitly state a dress code, and it adds a sense of occasion and ceremony to the event. The 'M' is a classic, traditional element that continues to be used in modern invitations, linking the past and present and offering a sense of continuity and tradition.

How to fill out the M line as a married couple

The "M" on a wedding RSVP card is a prompt for guests to write their names and titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.). The "M" is used in a more traditional or formal style of sending out invitations. If you are a married couple filling out the "M" line, you can follow these guidelines:

For married couples of the opposite sex who share a last name:

Write "Mr. and Mrs. [First name] [Shared last name]" or "Mr. [First name] and Mrs. [First name] [Shared last name]." For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Adam Smith" or "Mr. Adam and Mrs. Sarah Smith."

For married couples of the opposite sex who don't share a last name:

Write both names and titles, followed by your individual last names. For example, "Mr. Adam Smith and Mrs. Sarah Williams."

For married couples of the same sex who share a last name:

Write "Mr. and Mr. [Shared last name]" or "Mrs. and Mrs. [Shared last name]." For example, "Mr. and Mr. Johnson" or "Mrs. and Mrs. Brown."

For married couples of the same sex who don't share a last name:

Write both names and titles, followed by your individual last names. For example, "Mr. Joe Johnson and Mr. Tom Jackson" or "Mrs. Pam Brown and Mrs. Mary Miller."

Remember, the "M" line is a more traditional approach, and you can choose to omit it and simply write your names if you prefer. Additionally, when filling out the "M" line, only include the names of those attending the wedding.

How to fill out the M line as an unmarried couple

The "M" on a wedding RSVP card is a prompt for guests to write their names and titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc.) before responding to the invitation. When filling out the "M" line as an unmarried couple, the guests can follow these steps:

• Understanding the "M" Line: The "M" on the RSVP card is meant for the guest's title, such as Mr., Mrs., Miss, or Ms. It is a traditional way of addressing guests and is considered more formal. However, it can be confusing for some, especially those who do not identify with a specific title.
• Format for Unmarried Couples: When filling out the "M" line as an unmarried couple, the format is "Miss [Name] and Mr. [Name]" or "Mr. [Name] and Miss [Name]." For example, "Miss Jane Smith and Mr. Adam Johnson." This format applies regardless of the couple's gender combination.
• Same-Sex Couples: If the unmarried couple is a same-sex couple, the format remains the same. You would write "Mr. Joe Johnson and Mr. Tom Jackson" or "Miss Pam Brown and Miss Mary Miller." The titles "Mr." or "Miss" are used based on the guests' preferences.
• Writing Your Response: When writing your response on the RSVP card, ensure that you clearly state your names, titles, and whether you are accepting or declining the invitation. It is essential to send your response promptly, even if you cannot attend the wedding. This helps the couple with their planning and budgeting.
• Other Details: If there is a blank space to indicate the number of attendees, be sure to fill that out as well. Additionally, some RSVP cards may include meal selection options. Initial next to your meal of choice to help the couple inform their caterer.
• Consider Modern Alternatives: While the "M" line is traditional, modern couples often opt for a more relaxed approach. Instead of the "M" line, they may simply put "Name:" followed by a line for guests to write their first and last names. This way, guests can still include their titles if they wish, but it is not necessary. This alternative is more inclusive and avoids confusion.

How to fill out the M line as a same-sex couple

The "M" on wedding invitations is a prompt for guests to fill in their names, with the "M" standing for the first letter of their title, such as Mr., Mrs., Ms., or Miss. The guest then writes their full name, along with the names of anyone else who has been invited, on the line after the "M".

If you are a same-sex couple filling out the "M" line, there are a few options. Firstly, it is important to note that the etiquette of invitation addressing varies from couple to couple and is often influenced by the formality of the wedding. If the couple is not married, it is customary to address each person individually with their appropriate title. Write each name on a separate line, just as you would for an unmarried opposite-sex couple. The order of the names usually doesn't matter, but if you want to be sure, arrange them alphabetically.

If the couple is married, there are a few options for filling out the "M" line. One option is to write both names on the same line, separated by "and". For example, "Mr. Dan Brown and Mr. John Smith" or "Mrs. Amanda Jones and Mrs. Jane Williams". Many same-sex couples keep their last names after marriage, so this format is often used. You can also consider ordering the names alphabetically. Another option is to use the plural form of the title, especially if the married same-sex couple has the same last name. For men, you can write "The Messrs. Dan and John Smith" instead of "Mr. Dan Smith and Mr. John Smith". For women, you can write "The Mesdames Amanda and Jane Williams" or "Mrs. Amanda Williams and Mrs. Jane Williams" if they have different last names.

If you are unsure of the couple's preference, it is always a good idea to ask them directly. This way, you can prevent making a mistake on your invitations.

Frequently asked questions