Rsvp Wedding Invitation Etiquette: A Guide For Gracious Guests

Wedding invitation etiquette is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. It is important to get the details right, from the design to the timing of sending out invitations and the RSVP deadline. The invitation should include all the necessary information, such as the date, time, and location of the ceremony, as well as any pre- and post-wedding events, hotel information, and dress code. It is also essential to provide RSVP instructions, including a deadline, and to ensure that the RSVP envelope is pre-addressed and stamped. While it may be tempting to indicate an earlier start time, it is generally not advisable as guests tend to arrive early for wedding ceremonies. When it comes to RSVPs, it is crucial to respond as soon as possible and follow the couple's instructions. This includes providing your full name, response, the total number of guests, and any other requested information.

RSVPs: Include a 'by' date, pre-addressed envelope, and stamp

When it comes to wedding invitations, there are many details to consider, and getting them right is key. One of the most important things to remember is to include an "RSVP by" date on your RSVP cards. This gives your guests a deadline to respond by, usually about two to four weeks before the wedding, which allows you to give your caterer an accurate headcount. It is also important to let guests know how to RSVP, whether it be by mail, email, or a wedding website.

To make it easy for your guests to respond, it is essential to include a pre-addressed envelope with a stamp. This saves your guests the trouble of finding an envelope and a stamp, and it ensures that you receive the responses promptly. It is considered rude to expect your guests to pay for postage, so it is important to include this in your invitation suite.

When providing pre-addressed envelopes, it is crucial to ensure that they are addressed to the correct person or couple. For example, if you are inviting a couple with children, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" to indicate that only the parents are invited. If you are inviting a couple and their children, you can address the envelope to "The Smith Family."

Additionally, it is a thoughtful touch to include a line on the RSVP card that states the number of seats reserved for the invited guests. This helps to clarify the number of guests attending and prevents any confusion or unexpected additions.

No-shows: Contact the planner, not the couple, on the day

No-shows can be incredibly frustrating for the couple, who have likely spent a lot of time and money planning their big day. However, it's important to remember that life happens and there are valid reasons why someone might not be able to attend a wedding after they've RSVP'd.

If you're the one who can't make it, it's essential to inform the wedding planner as soon as possible, preferably before the wedding day. Do not contact the couple directly on their wedding day—they have enough on their plate and won't want the added stress of chasing down missing guests. The planner or a member of the wedding party can handle last-minute changes and inform the couple if necessary.

Apologise to the couple after the wedding and thank them for inviting you. If possible, send a gift from their registry to make up for your absence. It's also a nice gesture to call or send a handwritten note to express your regrets, especially if you're close to the couple.

If you're the wedding planner or a member of the wedding party, it's essential to keep track of the guest list and be the point of contact for any last-minute changes. That way, you can inform the couple of any no-shows and make necessary adjustments without causing them unnecessary stress on their big day.

Remember, it's crucial to respond to RSVPs as soon as possible and follow the couple's instructions. This will help avoid no-shows and ensure that the couple has an accurate headcount for their special day.

Timing: Send invites 6-8 weeks before, RSVPs due 2-3 weeks before

When it comes to wedding invitations, timing is everything. Send your invites out with plenty of time for your guests to plan and prepare, but not so much time that they forget to RSVP.

The general rule of thumb is to send out your wedding invitations around six to eight weeks before the big day. This gives your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make any necessary travel arrangements. It's also a good idea to send out save-the-date cards in advance of the invitations, especially if you're having a destination wedding. These can be sent out six to eight months before the wedding, or even earlier if you've already finalised the details.

As for RSVPs, you'll want to set a deadline of around two to four weeks before the wedding. This gives you enough time to chase up any late responses and finalise numbers with your caterer and other vendors. It's also a good idea to give your guests a few different ways to respond, such as by mail, email, or through your wedding website. That way, you're more likely to receive responses on time.

To make it easy for your guests, be sure to include a pre-addressed, pre-stamped return envelope with your invitations. You should also make the RSVP date clear and legible, and consider including a friendly reminder on your wedding website a week or so before the deadline.

By sticking to this timeline, you'll ensure that you have all the information you need to finalise the seating chart, place settings, and other last-minute details in the lead-up to your wedding day.

Adults-only: Address invites to specific guests, not and family

Deciding on a guest list for your wedding can be a challenging task. If you've decided to have an adults-only wedding, there are ways to communicate this to your guests in a tactful and polite manner. Here are some tips to help you navigate this situation:

Be Clear and Consistent:

It is essential to be clear and consistent about your adults-only wedding plans from the very beginning. Even before sending out invitations, make your intentions known and spread the word so that fewer guests will be surprised when they receive their invites.

Don't Make Exceptions:

It is recommended to take an all-or-nothing approach when deciding on an adults-only wedding. Avoid picking and choosing which families can bring their children. However, there may be exceptions for flower girls, ring bearers, or nursing mothers. If you do make exceptions, be sure to communicate this clearly to avoid upsetting other guests.

Address Invitations Properly:

When addressing your wedding invitations, only include the names of those who are invited. For example, address the envelope to "Mr. and Mrs. Luis Chavez," instead of "The Chavez Family." This will help indicate that the invitation is for adults only.

Use RSVP Cards:

You can also add a line to your RSVP cards to clarify the number of invited guests. For instance, you can write, "We have reserved ____ seat(s) in your honour," or "______ seats have been reserved in your honour." This will allow guests to know exactly how many people from their family are invited.

Share the Information on Your Wedding Website:

Your wedding website is another excellent platform to communicate your adults-only plans. Create an FAQ page and include a question like, "Can we bring kids?" Clearly state that while you love children, you want your guests to enjoy the event without worrying about their kids.

Be Prepared for Difficult Conversations:

Even with clear communication, you may still receive RSVPs that include the names of uninvited children. In such cases, it is best to contact the guests directly, preferably by phone, and politely explain that the invitation was intended for the parents only. Be prepared for some guests to decline the invitation if they are unable or unwilling to attend without their children.

Inform Your Close Circle:

Ask your parents, close family members, and bridal party to help spread the word about your adults-only wedding. They can answer questions from other guests and ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Remember, it is essential to be tactful and compassionate when communicating your adults-only wedding plans. Be consistent with your message across all platforms, including save-the-dates, invitations, and your wedding website. By being clear and considerate, you can help ensure that your guests understand your wishes and can plan accordingly.

Plus-ones: Not obligatory, but clarify numbers with a quick call

When it comes to plus-ones, it's important to clarify your numbers to avoid any confusion or last-minute surprises. While it's not obligatory to offer every guest a plus-one, it's essential to be clear about your expectations. Here are some tips to navigate this aspect of your wedding RSVP etiquette:

• Be Specific with Invitations: When addressing your invitations, be clear about who is invited. If a guest is invited with a plus-one, use "and Guest" or include the name of their significant other if you know it. This ensures there is no ambiguity, and your guests understand the number of seats reserved for them.
• Indicate the Number of Seats: On your RSVP card, include a line such as, "We have reserved ___ seats in your honour." By specifying the number of seats, you prevent guests from assuming they can bring additional plus-ones.
• Follow Up with a Call: If some guests haven't responded by your deadline or you're unsure about their plus-one situation, give them a quick call. Clarify that you're trying to finalise the guest list and need to confirm their attendance and the number of guests they plan to bring. This direct approach ensures you have an accurate headcount.
• Manage Plus-One Swaps: If a guest who initially planned to bring a plus-one can no longer attend, it's not appropriate for them to swap their plus-one for someone else. Unless the invitation specifically states "and Guest," it's generally expected that the named individual attends.
• Handle Declines Tactfully: If a guest declines your invitation, it's proper etiquette for them to respond via your preferred method (online, response card, etc.) with a "no" or "regrets." It's not polite to ignore the RSVP or assume their absence. If they are particularly close to you, they may also send a handwritten note or call to express their regrets.
• Be Mindful of Budget and Space Constraints: Remember that each additional guest impacts your budget and venue space. While it would be ideal to offer everyone a plus-one, numbers can add up quickly. Be considerate of your limitations and communicate them honestly to your guests.

Frequently asked questions