Lyla Dejesus
Planning a wedding guest list can be a tricky task, especially when it comes to deciding who gets a plus-one. While there are no set rules, there are some best practices and etiquette guidelines to follow. In this discussion, we will explore how to navigate the complex world of plus-one invitations and provide insights on addressing envelopes, extending invitations, and making tough decisions to ensure your big day is exactly how you envision it. From budgeting constraints to social dynamics, we will offer tips and suggestions for a seamless and joyful celebration.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Who gets a plus one | Married couples, engaged couples, couples living together, couples in serious long-term relationships, out-of-town guests, wedding party members, immediate family members |
| Who might not need a plus one | Single guests who know other guests, new couples or those casually dating |
| How to address the invitation | Write the guest's name and "and guest" on the envelope; include a note inside the card saying "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one"; write the number of seats reserved to gently communicate that a plus one is not offered |
What You'll Learn
Who traditionally gets a plus one?
When it comes to wedding planning, deciding who gets a plus-one can be a daunting task. Here are some guidelines on who traditionally gets a plus-one:
Married, Engaged, and Cohabitating Guests
It is customary for married, engaged, and cohabitating guests to receive a plus-one invitation. This is considered standard wedding etiquette and should be offered even if the couple has never met the spouse or partner of the guest.
Members of the Wedding Party
It is also customary to extend a plus-one invitation to members of the wedding party, such as bridesmaids and groomsmen. This is a way to show appreciation for their commitment and support during the wedding planning process and can help ensure they have a more enjoyable time at the wedding.
Out-of-Town Guests
Out-of-town guests who may not know many other attendees are commonly given plus-one privileges. This is to ensure they don't feel out of place or lonely at the wedding, especially if they are travelling a long way to be there.
Close Friends and Family
Close friends and family members of the couple who are single but don't fall into the above categories may also be offered a plus-one. This is especially true if they are travelling from out of town, don't know many other guests, or would benefit from having a date by their side.
Other Considerations
When deciding on plus-ones, it is important to consider the couple's budget, venue capacity, and the number of people they wish to have at their wedding. It is generally advised to be consistent and establish clear criteria to avoid any potential favouritism. For example, if one person in the wedding party is offered a plus-one, it is polite to extend the same offer to all members of the wedding party.
Additionally, it is worth noting that plus-ones are typically reserved for romantic partners or close friends, rather than allowing guests to bring anyone of their choosing.
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How to address the envelope
When addressing the envelope of a wedding invitation with a plus-one, there are a few options to consider.
Firstly, if you are inviting a single guest with a plus-one, you can write the guest's name followed by "and guest" on the envelope. This is a simple and clear way to indicate that they are invited to bring a date. This can be done for both the outer and inner envelopes, with the inner envelope providing an opportunity to include the plus-one's name if you have it.
Alternatively, you can address the envelope to the guest only and include a note inside the invitation indicating that they are invited to bring a plus-one. This note can be added to the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation. This approach allows you to personally address the guest while still offering the option to bring a date.
When addressing married or engaged couples, or couples living together, it is standard to invite them as a duo. Address both individuals by name on both the outer and inner envelopes. If you are inviting a couple that lives separately, it is ideal to send separate invitations to each individual. However, if you don't have their separate addresses, it is acceptable to address the invitation to the primary guest and include the name of their significant other inside.
In the case of unmarried couples who are in a serious, long-term relationship, it is recommended to address the invitation to both individuals by name if you know both parties well. If you are only close with one person in the couple, address the invitation to the primary guest and include the plus-one's name inside.
Remember, it is essential to be consistent when addressing wedding invitations with plus-ones. This will help to avoid any confusion or hurt feelings among your guests.
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What to write on the invitation
When it comes to addressing wedding invitations, the general rule is to write the names of those invited on the outer envelope and then add "and Guest" to the inner envelope if they are invited to bring a plus one.
If you are inviting a married couple, engaged couple, or couple living together, they should be invited as a duo, and both names should be written on the outer and inner envelope.
For couples in serious, long-term relationships, both names should be included on the outer and inner envelope, even if you don't know the partner well. If the couple lives separately, each person should receive their own invitation. If you are unsure of their relationship status, use "invited guest" or "and guest" instead of their name.
For single guests, you can either write their name followed by "and guest" on the outer envelope or include a note inside the invitation stating that they are invited to bring a plus one. This way, the guest understands that the invitation is directed at them, and they have the option to bring someone.
When it comes to the RSVP card, you can include a line such as "____ of 2 will be attending" or "You are invited to bring one guest" to confirm the number of guests attending and avoid any misunderstandings.
Remember, it is your wedding, and you can decide who gets a plus one based on your budget, venue capacity, and the dynamic you want to create. Be consistent with your decisions, and don't feel obligated to offer plus ones to everyone.
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What to do if someone asks to bring a guest
When it comes to wedding invites, it's always best to be clear and direct. If you're happy for your guests to bring a plus-one, it's best to include this on the invitation. You can do this by writing "Mr Smith and Guest" or by adding a note at the bottom of the card or on the back of the invitation saying "You are invited to bring a guest" or "You are invited to bring a plus one".
If you don't want your guests to bring a plus-one, it's still important to be clear about this. Don't include "and guest" on the invitation and consider adding a note to say that the invitation is for one person only.
If a guest asks to bring a plus-one, it's up to you whether you want to accommodate this request. If you don't want them to, it's best to politely but firmly explain that you're unable to due to budget or space constraints. You could say something like "We'd love to include everyone, but unfortunately, our budget only allowed us to invite close friends and family. We appreciate your understanding and really hope to see you there!".
If you are happy for them to bring a guest, ask for the name of the plus-one so you can update your seating chart and place cards. It's also worth considering whether you need to make any changes to your seating plan to accommodate their request.
Remember, it's your wedding so ultimately the decision is up to you. Don't feel obligated to say yes if it's going to cause you stress or extra expense.
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Seating arrangements
Gathering Guest Information
It is essential to gather the names of all invited guests, including their plus-ones. This information is vital for preparing seating charts and reception place cards. Ask for the name of the plus-one on your RSVPs to avoid surprises and ensure a smooth seating arrangement process.
Seating Arrangement Strategies
Consider using a mock seating chart or an online seating chart tool to visualise the best arrangement for your guests and their plus-ones. Take into account the personalities and relationships of your guests to avoid unwanted drama at the reception. Seat guests or plus-ones away from others with whom they may have issues.
Mixing and Matching Singles
Avoid grouping all the single guests at the same table. Instead, mix and match them with other friends and couples they may know or are likely to get along with. If you have single friends who might hit it off, seating them together could even turn your wedding into an unexpected matchmaking session!
Serious Relationships
When addressing invitations, it is advisable to include the names of guests in serious relationships rather than using "and guest." This ensures that a specific person is invited and reduces the likelihood of your guest bringing a random individual solely interested in the open bar and free meal.
Flexibility and Consistency
Be prepared to respond to requests from guests who do not have a plus-one but may ask for one. Have a kind yet firm explanation ready, emphasising budget constraints and the need to prioritise close friends and family. However, remain flexible and consider each request individually, taking into account your venue's capacity and rules.
Final Thoughts
Remember, your wedding day should reflect your vision and what you and your partner want. Be consistent in your approach to plus-ones and seating arrangements to avoid hurt feelings and maintain a harmonious atmosphere on your special day.
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Frequently asked questions
There are a few ways to let guests know they can bring a plus one. One way is to write "and guest" on the envelope. Another way is to write the guest's name and then "and guest" on the inner envelope. You can also include the exact number of people invited on the RSVP card.
Ultimately, it is up to you to decide who gets a plus one. However, standard etiquette dictates that members of the couple's immediate family, wedding party members, outlier guests who won't know many other attendees, and couples who are engaged, live together, or are in a serious or long-term relationship should receive a plus one.
The proper wording for a plus one invitation is to address the invitation to the primary guest's name and "invited guest" or "and guest". If you don't know the plus one's name, it is acceptable to use "and guest".
