How Long Should You Wait For Wedding Rsvps?

When it comes to wedding invitation etiquette, timing is everything. While it's exciting to share your big day with loved ones, it's important to give your guests enough time to plan and respond. So, what's a reasonable response time to expect from your invitees?

Wedding invitations are typically sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding. This gives guests ample time to figure out their schedules, make travel arrangements if needed, and RSVP. The RSVP deadline is usually set for two to four weeks before the wedding, allowing the couple enough time to confirm numbers with their caterer and finalise the seating chart.

It's considered polite for guests to respond to wedding invitations promptly. If they are unable to attend, an early response gives the couple the opportunity to invite someone else in their place. When replying, guests should indicate whether they are bringing a guest if the invitation includes a +1. It's also courteous to alert the hosts immediately if, for some unforeseen reason, guests can no longer attend after accepting the invitation.

How long do guests have to respond?

It is important to give guests enough time to respond to a wedding invitation. Wedding invitations are typically sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, and guests should be given four to eight weeks to respond. This gives them ample time to decide whether they can attend and make any necessary travel arrangements.

The deadline for RSVPs should be at least two to three weeks before the wedding to allow enough time to confirm numbers with the caterer and venue. This also leaves some time to chase up any guests who have not yet responded. It is reasonable to expect that some guests will respond immediately, while others will wait until closer to the deadline.

It is a guest's duty to respond promptly to a wedding invitation. They should check their schedule and consult with anyone else included in the invitation before replying. If a guest cannot attend, it is courteous to let the couple know as soon as possible so that they can invite someone else in their place if they wish.

If the invitation includes an RSVP request but no response card, guests can reply by post or email. Responses should be brief and sincere, especially if the guest knows the host well.

What to do if guests don't respond?

It's frustrating when guests don't respond to your wedding invitation, but there are several things you can do to chase them for a response. Firstly, it's important to give your guests enough time to RSVP. People may need time to work out if they can attend, organise their budget, book time off work, or arrange childcare. It's recommended that you send out your wedding invitations and response cards around six to twelve weeks before the wedding, with an RSVP deadline of around two weeks before the actual cut-off date that your caterer needs the final headcount. This gives you a grace period to chase any stragglers.

If your RSVP deadline arrives and you're still waiting on some responses, it's perfectly acceptable to follow up with a polite reminder via email or text. Send out the first reminder before the RSVP deadline to give people a chance to respond before it's too late. If you still haven't heard back after a few days, try calling them. If they don't answer, leave a voicemail politely explaining that if you don't hear from them within a certain timeframe, you'll assume they can't attend. As a last resort, you could try meeting them in person if it's someone very important who you're close to.

If you still can't get a response, it's probably safe to assume they aren't coming. If it's been more than a week after the RSVP deadline, you can send them a final message along the lines of:

> Hi there [name], I hope you’re well. I’m just letting you know that since the RSVP deadline was last week and I haven’t heard from you, I’m assuming you can’t make it to our wedding. If you are planning to come, please let me know by the end of today. If not, no worries. Take care!

It's also a good idea to have a few extra chairs on hand, in case any non-responders turn up unannounced. However, if your caterer can't feed them, that's not your fault!

How to respond to an invitation?

Responding to an invitation in a timely manner is important, especially when it comes to events with a set capacity, like a wedding. So, what is a reasonable response time for a wedding invitation?

How to Respond to an Invitation

Step 1: Say Thank You

It is always good to start by thanking the host for the invitation. This sets a polite and pleasant tone for the rest of your response. Here are some examples:

• "Thanks for the invitation."
• "That is so kind of you."
• "Thanks for thinking of us."

Step 2: Be Clear About Your Response

Whether you are accepting or declining the invitation, be clear and concise in your response. If you are accepting, confirm who will be attending, especially if you were invited with a plus-one. This will help the host with their planning.

• "John and I will be there."
• "I'll be there for sure."
• "Unfortunately, I am not able to make it."
• "I already have plans that day."

Step 3: Confirm the Details

If you are attending, confirm the details of the event with the host. This shows your interest and enthusiasm for the event.

• "So we will see you on the 10th, then."
• "How lovely! I can't wait."
• "What would you like us to bring"?
• "Is there anything I can do to help with the preparations?"

Timing Your Response

For formal events like weddings, it is important to respond promptly. Traditionally, invitations are sent out six to eight weeks before the wedding, and guests are given four to five weeks to respond. This gives the couple enough time to finalise numbers for the venue and catering. Therefore, a reasonable response time for a wedding invitation is within four weeks of receiving the invitation.

If you are the host, give your guests a gentle reminder if they haven't responded by the deadline. It is likely that they have forgotten to reply, and a quick message will be appreciated.

Now you know how to respond to an invitation and the reasonable timeframe to do so, you can ensure you are a considerate guest and host.

What to include in the invitation?

When it comes to wedding invitations, there's more to include than just the wedding date, time, and location. Here's a detailed list of what to incorporate:

The Invitation Itself

• Invitational Line: This line lists the names of the hosts, typically the people paying for the event. If the couple is hosting, their names are listed, and if the parents are contributing financially or covering all costs, their names should be included as well.
• Request Line: This follows the invitational line and can be phrased as "Request the Pleasure of Your Company," "Invite You to Celebrate the Marriage of," or "Request the Honor of Your Presence" if the ceremony is in a place of worship.
• Names of the Couple: For heterosexual couples, the woman's name typically comes first, but the order can be changed as desired. LGBTQIA+ couples can order their names alphabetically, by age, or however they prefer. First and middle names, first and last names, or full legal names can be used, depending on the formality of the wedding.
• Date and Time of the Ceremony: Avoid latecomers by clearly stating the start time, including the hour and time of day (a.m. vs. p.m.). For formal invitations, write out the time instead of using numerals (e.g., four o'clock in the afternoon).
• Ceremony and Reception Location: Include the name and address of the venue(s). If the ceremony and reception are at the same place, add a line like "Reception to Follow" or "Dinner and Dancing to Follow." If they're at different locations, include a separate reception card with the start time and address.
• Dress Code (Optional): Most modern invites omit attire details, opting to communicate this on the wedding website instead. However, you can include a line indicating the expected dress code, such as Casual Attire, Semi-Formal Attire, Black Tie, etc.

Insert Cards

Insert cards are a great way to provide additional details without overcrowding your invitation. Here are some options for insert cards:

• RSVP Card: Include a specific date for guests to respond by, preferably three to four weeks before the wedding. You can also include a place for guests to write their names and their entrée preference if you're offering a plated dinner.
• Wedding Website Card: Your wedding website is a central resource for guests to find important details like accommodations, the registry, and more.
• Extra Information about the Venue: If your wedding is at a unique or unfamiliar location, include an insert with instructions, parking information, or a custom map. You can also suggest things for guests to do in the area before the wedding.
• Weekend Events Card (for Multi-Day Weddings): If your wedding spans multiple days with events like welcome drinks or a day-after brunch, include a full itinerary so guests can plan and pack accordingly.
• Accommodations Card: For guests travelling from out of town, provide hotel options and transportation information. If there's a deadline for reservations, you may include that as well.

Envelope Information

• Guest Names and Titles: Ensure the correct spelling and preferred titles (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Miss, or the gender-neutral Mx.) of your guests are on the front of the envelope.
• Guest Address: Confirm the address before ordering or sending invitations to avoid confusion.
• Return Address: Include your return address on the back flap of the outer envelope and the front of the reply card envelope. This is crucial so that you receive response cards and guests can contact you if needed.
• Appropriate Postage: Heavier invitation bundles may require extra postage, so it's a good idea to take a fully stuffed invite to the post office to determine the necessary stamps. Don't forget to include postage on the reply card envelope as well.

When to send out the invitations?

The timing of sending out wedding invitations is a crucial aspect of wedding planning. It is essential to allow your guests enough time to plan and respond, especially if they need to make travel arrangements. Here are some guidelines and suggestions to help you navigate this process:

Tradition and Expert Recommendations:

According to wedding traditions and experts like Jung Lee of Fete NY, sending out invitations around six to eight weeks before the wedding is advisable. This timeframe gives your guests ample time to clear their schedules and make the necessary arrangements without providing them with too much leeway, which could lead to procrastination in responding.

Destination and Holiday Weddings:

If you're planning a destination wedding or a holiday wedding, it's essential to give your guests even more advance notice. For destination weddings, consider sending invitations about three months in advance and setting the RSVP deadline for six weeks before the wedding. This will allow your guests to make travel plans and accommodations. Similarly, for holiday weddings, it's a good idea to send invitations early and provide ample notice due to the busy travel season.

Save-the-Dates:

Sending out "save-the-date" cards is a popular option, especially for destination weddings or weddings during holiday periods. These cards can be sent out as early as six to eight months before the wedding or even a year in advance if you have your wedding details finalized. This gives your guests a heads-up to mark their calendars without requiring an immediate response.

RSVP Timeline:

When determining the timing for sending out invitations, consider the RSVP timeline. Ideally, you should give your guests four to five weeks to respond. This allows them to figure out their availability and make travel plans if needed. Set your RSVP deadline for about two to three weeks before the wedding, giving you enough time to confirm numbers with your caterer and finalize the seating arrangements.

Prompt Responses:

It's important to emphasize the importance of prompt responses from your guests. Encourage them to respond as soon as possible after receiving the invitation. This is crucial, especially if you have a limited guest list and may want to invite someone else in their place if they cannot attend.

In summary, the key to timing your wedding invitations is finding a balance between giving your guests enough notice and not sending them too early, which could lead to procrastination in responding. Aim for the traditional timeframe of six to eight weeks before the wedding, adjusting as needed based on the specific circumstances of your wedding, such as destination or holiday dates. Don't forget to include "save-the-date" cards for early notice and give your guests a reasonable RSVP timeline to work with.

Frequently asked questions