Deborah Chan
A traditional Sotho wedding is a significant milestone in Sotho culture, symbolising the union of two families and the continuation of the community. Before the wedding, lobola negotiations take place, where the groom's family pays the bride's family, usually with cows, money, or gifts. The wedding ceremony, known as lebollong la dintwa, involves the families coming together to celebrate the union, with the bride and groom wearing traditional attire. The bride's family performs dances and songs to welcome the groom's family, and a grand feast, or koma, is held with traditional dishes. Marriage in Sotho culture is seen as a partnership between the two families, strengthening kinship ties and preserving cultural heritage.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Negotiations | Lobola negotiations involve the elders from both families discussing the amount and form of the bride price, which traditionally was paid in cattle but now can include cash, gifts, or a combination of both. |
| Bride Price | The groom's family pays the bride price, also known as lobola or bohali, to the bride's family as a symbolic gesture of gratitude, recognising the value and worth of the bride. |
| Wedding Ceremony | The traditional wedding ceremony, known as "lebollong la dintwa," is a joyous occasion filled with cultural rituals and celebrations. |
| Attire | The bride wears a colourful blanket, known as a "Seanamarena," and a headdress adorned with beads and feathers. The groom wears a traditional hat, often made from animal skin, and a blanket known as a "Sothwadi." |
| Location | The wedding ceremony is held at the bride's family home, followed by a continuation of the wedding at the groom's family home. |
| Gifts | Both families exchange gifts, such as a bottle of wine or whisky, dishes, or blankets. |
| Date | The two families agree on the date of the traditional wedding. |
| Cow Slaughtering | Cows are slaughtered, and some of the blood is exchanged between the two families. |
| Bride's Name | The bride is given a new first name by the groom's family, often a female family member's name, indicating her acceptance into the family. |
| Invitation | The traditional wedding ceremony is typically by invitation, but community members can also attend even if they were not invited. |
What You'll Learn
The lobola negotiations
After the lobola negotiations are complete, both families exchange gifts such as a bottle of wine or whisky, dishes, or blankets. They then agree on the date of the traditional wedding and the bride is brought to the groom's parents' home. The lobola negotiations are just one of the rituals and customs followed before the wedding ceremony to ensure the blessings and well-being of the couple.
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The transfer of the bride
During the ceremony, the bride is presented to the groom's family, who have arrived at the bride's family home. The two families exchange greetings and blessings, with the bride's family performing traditional dances and songs to welcome the groom and his relatives. The bride's attire for this occasion includes a colourful blanket, known as a "Seanamarena," and a headdress adorned with beads and feathers.
As part of the ritual, the bride offers the groom water, and he must accept and drink it, sealing their marriage. This act symbolises the official transfer of the bride to the groom's family. The groom's acceptance of the water indicates that the two families are now joined in a bond of kinship.
Prior to the wedding, lobola negotiations take place, where the groom's family pays the bride's price to the bride's family. This custom, known as "bohali" or "bride wealth," was traditionally paid in cattle but can now also include cash or gifts. The exchange of lobola signifies the value and worth of the bride and establishes a strong connection between the families.
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The wedding ceremony
During the ceremony, the bride will offer the groom water, and he must accept and drink to make the marriage official. The bride's family will then hand her over to the groom and his family. The ceremony is usually held on a Saturday at the bride's family home, and the bride's family organises it, buys gifts for the couple, and slaughters a cow to welcome their new family. The wedding continues the next day at the groom's family home, where the bride's family teaches her how to be a good wife and dresses her in cultural clothing that matches the groom's family's attire.
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The wedding feast
The wedding ceremony is followed by a grand feast, or "koma", to celebrate the union of the couple. The feast is a joyous and festive occasion, filled with delicious food, traditional music, and dancing. It is an opportunity for the community to unite and celebrate the newlyweds. The "koma" includes generous portions of food and drink, symbolising abundance and prosperity for the couple's future life together.
The feast typically includes traditional dishes such as "papa" (maize meal porridge) and "mala" (sour milk), as well as various meat dishes. The meat is likely to come from cows slaughtered for the wedding, a tradition in Sotho culture. The families slaughter cows and exchange some of the blood, and the cow may also be a gift from the bride's family to welcome the new family.
The bride and groom wear traditional attire that reflects their cultural heritage. The bride's attire includes a colourful blanket, known as a "Seanamarena", and a headdress adorned with beads and feathers. The groom wears a traditional hat, often made from animal skin, and a blanket called a "Sothwadi". The families also wear their traditional clothing, with the bride's family organising the ceremony and buying gifts for the couple.
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The bride's new name
The Sotho wedding is a traditional ceremony steeped in ritual and rich with symbolism. One such ritual is the giving of a new name to the bride by her new family.
The bride's new family will choose a teknonymous name for her, which is a name that is often a female family member's name, such as a grandmother's name. This name is given to the bride to indicate that she has been accepted into the family and to keep her in-laws from addressing her by her maiden name. The groom is also expected to call her by this name, particularly in public and among family.
The teknonymous name may become permanent, and the name of the couple's firstborn child will often match the bride's new name. For example, if the bride is given the name Mmatshepo, her boy child will be called Tshepo, and her daughter will be called Tshepiso.
The bride's official first name on her ID will not change, but as is the case with most Western marriages, the wife usually takes the husband's surname.
The giving of a new name to the bride is a way to welcome her into the family and to show that she now belongs to the clan. It is a symbol of the union between the two families and is an important part of the Sotho wedding tradition.
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Frequently asked questions
The bride's attire includes a colourful blanket, known as a "Seanamarena," and a headdress adorned with beads and feathers. The groom wears an animal-skin hat and a blanket called a "Sothwadi."
The ceremony, known as "lebollong la dintwa," involves the groom's family arriving at the bride's family home. The families exchange greetings and blessings, and the bride is presented to the groom's family. The bride's family then performs traditional dances and songs to welcome the groom's family.
Lobola, or bride price, is a symbolic gesture of gratitude from the groom's family to the bride's family. It is seen as a way of establishing a bond between the two families and ensuring the well-being of the bride. Traditionally, lobola was paid in cattle, but today it can also include cash or gifts.
