Rhiannon Hendricks
American weddings are steeped in tradition, with many rituals and customs that have been passed down through the generations. While there is no normal or correct way to have a wedding, as traditions vary based on religion, culture, and personal preference, there are some time-honoured practices that most American couples still perform. From the proposal to the honeymoon, here's what you can expect to see at a traditional American wedding.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Location | Churches, beaches, museums, gardens, resorts, or any number of places |
| Wedding attire | White or ivory gown, veil |
| Bride's accessories | Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue |
| Groom's attire | Tuxedo |
| Wedding party | Maid of honour, best man, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl, ring bearer |
| Processional | Mother of the bride, groom, best man, bridesmaid pairs, flower girl and ring bearer, bride and her father |
| Officiant's role | Welcoming guests, addressing the couple directly, announcing the couple may kiss |
| Vows | Self-written or pre-written |
| Rings | Exchanged during the ceremony |
| Rituals | Unity candle, bonding ritual with rope or silk, sharing a wine glass |
| Reception | Meal, speeches, first dance, parental dance, bouquet toss, gift-giving |
| Honeymoon | A few days to a few weeks |
What You'll Learn
The wedding ceremony
The Processional
Opening Speeches
With everyone in place, the officiant will open the ceremony, welcoming guests and thanking them for attending. They may share their thoughts and reflections on marriage or a brief history of the couple. The bride and groom may also select readings for the ceremony, such as Biblical passages or other revered texts.
Officiant Address
The officiant will then address the couple directly, sharing the responsibilities and weight of marriage, including the famous "for better or for worse" marriage address.
Exchange of Vows and Rings
The couple will then exchange their wedding vows, which may be pre-written or crafted by the couple themselves. This is followed by the exchange of rings, which symbolises their never-ending love and commitment.
First Kiss
After the vows and rings, the officiant announces that the couple may kiss, signifying their union.
Rituals
The couple may choose to include a ritual during the ceremony, such as a candle-lighting ceremony, a bonding ritual using ropes or silk, or sharing a cup of wine.
Pronouncement
Finally, the officiant announces the couple as married, and they are officially recognised as husband and wife.
Post-Ceremony Celebrations
After the ceremony, there are a few common elements to celebrate the new union before the couple leaves for their honeymoon. These include the reception party, where guests and the wedding party share a meal; the first dance of the newlyweds; a special dance for the bride and her father or the groom and their mother; and speeches from friends of the couple.
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The first dance
After the first dance, the dance floor is usually opened up to the rest of the wedding party, with the father of the bride dancing with the bride, and the groom dancing with the bride's mother. The groom's parents then dance together, and the bridesmaids and groomsmen join in.
Some couples choose to put a unique spin on the first dance, by choosing an unexpected song, inviting all the couples to dance at once, or surprising guests with a wedding mashup, transitioning from a slow dance to an upbeat song with snazzy choreography.
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The best man and the bridesmaid
The best man and the maid of honor are the official witnesses for the wedding license. The best man is the groom's right-hand man and is usually a close friend or relative. The best man's duties include:
- Supporting the groom during the wedding planning process and on the big day
- Acting as a point of contact for the groomsmen
- Helping the groom choose and buy wedding formalwear
- Planning the bachelor party
- Attending pre-wedding events such as the engagement party, shower, and rehearsal dinner
- Buying a wedding gift
- Taking charge of transportation for the couple
- Being the groom's personal aide and adviser on the wedding day
- Ensuring the groomsmen arrive on time for all activities
- Keeping the wedding rings safe until the vows are exchanged
- Standing beside the groom at the altar
- Signing the marriage license as a witness
- Acting as an unofficial reception host and ensuring the guests are enjoying themselves
- Helping to collect gifts
- Giving a speech at the reception
- Decorating the getaway car
- Tying up loose ends after the reception, such as tipping vendors and transporting gifts
The maid of honor is typically the bride's closest friend or sister. Her duties include:
- Helping the bride with wedding planning and logistics
- Leading the bridal party through the planning of pre-wedding events such as the bridal shower and bachelorette party
- Providing practical and emotional support to the bride on the wedding day
- Helping the bride with dressing and managing her veil, bouquet, or train
- Holding the groom's wedding ring (in a double-ring wedding)
- Signing the marriage license as a witness
- Offering a toast to the newlyweds at the reception
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The getaway vehicle
Horse-drawn Carriage
For a touch of elegance and rustic charm, a horse-drawn carriage is a perfect choice. This option allows the couple to relax and enjoy a slower pace after a busy wedding day.
Vintage or Classic Cars
Vintage or classic cars, such as a pink vintage convertible, a Volkswagen bus, or a luxury sports car, add a touch of retro glamour to the couple's exit. For a unique twist, consider a "Back to the Future" DeLorean time machine or a vintage car decorated with college decor.
Motorcycle or Bicycle
For adventurous couples, a motorcycle or tandem bicycle can be a fun and whimsical getaway vehicle. Just be mindful of the bride's attire to avoid any mishaps with the bike's chains or spokes.
Boat or Water Taxi
If your wedding venue is near the water, why not make a splash with a boat exit? Whether it's a speedboat, pontoon, or yacht, a nautical-themed getaway is sure to impress.
Trolley or Shuttle Bus
For a more relaxed exit, a trolley or shuttle bus can be a great alternative to a traditional car. The happy couple can enjoy some alone time or invite the wedding party to join in the fun.
Hot Air Balloon or Helicopter
Take your celebration to new heights with a hot air balloon or helicopter ride. This unique option offers breathtaking photo opportunities and a dramatic exit that will wow your guests.
Ski Lift or Snowboard
For a winter wedding, the couple can ski or snowboard down the mountain in their wedding attire. It's an adventurous way to make a grand exit, but be sure to have the necessary skills for a smooth descent.
Cultural or Themed Vehicles
Incorporate your heritage or wedding theme into your getaway vehicle. For example, a Jeep decorated with traditional Indian floral decor or a beach station wagon to honour a Hawaiian-inspired wedding.
Something Whimsical
Add a touch of whimsy to your exit with children's scooters, a tractor, or even a dogsled. These unexpected choices will leave your guests with fond memories and laughter.
No matter which option you choose, be sure to book your getaway vehicle in advance, considering your wedding attire, theme, and location. Decorate your ride with streamers, flowers, or a "Just Married" sign for that perfect photo opportunity.
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The wedding reception
The newlyweds will usually share the first dance, with only them being allowed on the floor. This is often a slow dance, but sometimes the couple will perform a choreographed routine to upbeat music.
There is also a special dance for the bride and her father, or the groom and their mother. This is followed by friends of the couple giving speeches, sharing fond memories of the couple and their relationship.
The wedding cake is usually cut at the reception, with the couple feeding each other a bite, sometimes resulting in cake being smushed on each other's faces. The cake is often a sponge cake, but some couples opt for cupcakes or macarons.
The reception is also an opportunity to send off the newlyweds in style. This can include guests blowing bubbles, waving sparklers, tossing dried lavender, or ringing bells to wish the couple good luck and happiness.
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Frequently asked questions
The bride usually wears a white dress, which symbolises purity and virginity. The tradition of wearing white was started by Queen Victoria in the mid-1800s. However, modern brides may put their own spin on their outfit by wearing off-white or adding a colourful accent or accessory.
The reception is a party for guests and the wedding party to share a last meal before the honeymoon. There is usually a first dance for the newlyweds, and sometimes a special dance for the bride and her father or the groom and his mother. There are also speeches, where friends of the couple share memories and stories. Gifts are often given to the couple at this time.
Wedding vows are usually written by the couple themselves, although some choose to use pre-written vows. They can be religious or non-religious, and often include personal details about the couple's relationship and how they plan to support each other in their marriage.
