Pagan Wedding Rituals Explained

Pagan weddings are a celebration of nature, the earth, and all the creatures that inhabit it. The ceremonies are often held outdoors, and the rituals are designed to create a spiritual connection between the couple and the natural world.

Pagan weddings are highly personalised, with couples encouraged to tailor the rituals to their own beliefs and values. However, there are some common elements that you might see at a pagan wedding. One of the most well-known pagan wedding rituals is handfasting, which involves tying the couple's hands together with a cord or ribbon to symbolise their unity and commitment to each other. Another common ritual is jumping the broom, which represents the couple's sexual union and the threshold they are crossing into married life.

Pagan weddings also often include offerings to an altar, candle lighting, and the burning of bay leaves to manifest desires and release negative energy. The couple might exchange swords or daggers instead of rings, and guests might be invited to form a circle around the couple during the ceremony to show their support and solidarity.

Pagan wedding attire

Pagan weddings are often held outdoors, so it's a good idea to consider the location and season when deciding what to wear. Natural elements and colours of the season can be incorporated into your outfit. For example, warm colours in autumn, pastels and light colours in winter, bright colours in summer, and greens in spring.

Pagan weddings are generally less strict about dress codes than traditional weddings, but it's still a good idea to check the invitation for any specific instructions from the couple. Pagan weddings can be formal or casual, so it's worth checking with the couple if you're unsure.

If you're attending a pagan wedding as a guest, you can add flowers and jewellery made of natural stones to your outfit. Clothes made from natural fabrics are also a good option. Pagan weddings usually take place outside, so it's important to dress comfortably for the weather.

As a guest, you can wear black or white, which are often avoided at traditional weddings. Other colours such as red, orange, yellow, green, or brown are also appropriate, as they reflect the natural world.

For the couple getting married, there are no hard and fast rules about what to wear. The bride can wear any colour she likes, including red, white, purple, blue, or green. She may also choose to wear a garland of flowers in her hair.

The groom can also wear any colour he prefers. Pagan weddings often take place outdoors, so it's important to consider the terrain when choosing footwear. High heels and delicate slippers may not be suitable for standing on grass or uneven ground.

Overall, the most important thing is to wear something that makes you feel comfortable and happy, and that won't be damaged by the outdoor setting.

Pagan wedding ceremonies

The Ceremony

Handfasting

The couple's hands are then bound together with a cord or ribbon, symbolising strength and unity. This is where the term "tying the knot" comes from. The colour of the cord is chosen by the couple, with each colour symbolising something different, for example, red symbolises will, strength, courage and fertility, and blue symbolises patience, understanding, health and loyalty.

Jumping the Broom

The second notable event within a Pagan wedding ceremony is the jumping of the broom, or 'besom'. This action represents the sexual union of the couple and the new phase of their lives together as husband and wife. This tradition dates back to Africa, before the abolition of slavery, when slaves were not permitted to marry.

Offerings to an Altar

Making offerings to an altar is another Pagan unity ritual, where a couple puts meaningful items on an altar either as an offering to the Gods or a symbolic ceremony signifying unity. These offerings can include candles, incense, or any other meaningful items.

Rings

The couple will then exchange rings or another token of their love, such as necklaces.

Vows

The couple will make their own vows, which are usually written specifically for them.

Clothing

Pagan wedding attire often includes dark colours instead of the traditional white wedding gown. Accessories like capes, crowns, jackets and veils can be used to enhance the outfit.

Other Rituals

Other rituals that can be included in a Pagan wedding ceremony are:

• Sword or dagger exchange
• Lighting of candles
• Passing the rings around the guests to gather their blessings
• Tarot card reading
• Planning the wedding around the celebration of a season

Pagan unity rituals

Handfasting

The most well-known pagan unity ritual is handfasting, which is possibly Celtic in origin. In a handfasting ritual, the couple's hands are tied together with a cord or ribbon, symbolising strength and unity. This ritual is often done during the wedding ceremony, and many Pagans and Wiccans use three cords to represent the mind-body-soul connection. The colours of the cords can also be chosen to symbolise different qualities, such as red for strength and courage, orange for kindness, and blue for loyalty. Handfasting is a very common unity ritual and is even included in some traditional weddings.

Sword or Dagger Exchange

Exchanging swords or daggers during the wedding ceremony comes from Pagan and Viking traditions and can be a unique alternative to exchanging rings. Couples can give each other daggers or swords during the ceremony, either in addition to or instead of rings, depending on their preference.

Offerings to an Altar

Making offerings to an altar is another Pagan unity ritual where the couple puts meaningful items on an altar as an offering to the gods or as a symbolic act of unity. These offerings can include candles, incense, or any other items that hold significance for the couple. The altar can be decorated with candles, but if the ceremony is outdoors, be careful not to light candles in grassy or flammable areas, and avoid doing this during fire season.

Connecting with Nature

Paganism and Wicca are strongly connected to nature, so choosing an outdoor location for your ceremony is a great way to incorporate paganism into your wedding. Being in nature can be a spiritually healing experience and allows you to celebrate your love for the outdoors. You can also incorporate nature by using flowers, wreaths, moss, or other natural elements in your wedding decor.

Bay Leaf Burning

The burning of bay leaves (or bay laurel) is a Pagan and Wiccan practice used to manifest desires and release negative energy. This ritual can be incorporated into your wedding ceremony to acknowledge and release any fears, worries, or anxieties you may have as a couple, creating space for growth and a fresh start.

Blessing the Space

Blessing the space is a Pagan ritual that involves lighting incense or sage, ringing bells, or tossing petals or herbs to create a spiritual circle around the physical space where the ceremony will take place. This is usually done by the officiant, but it can also be done by a guest or the couple themselves. This ritual is meant to drive out negative energy and create a blessed space for the ceremony.

Pagan altars

Pagan wedding altars are often adorned with various symbolic items that hold spiritual significance for the couple. These items can vary depending on the couple's specific beliefs and traditions, but there are some common elements that are often included.

One essential item on a pagan wedding altar is the handfasting cord or ribbon, which is used in the handfasting ceremony—a sacred bonding of the couple's hands. The colour of the cord is meaningful, with each colour symbolising different virtues. For example, red symbolises strength, blue symbolises patience and loyalty, and orange symbolises encouragement. The handfasting cord is used to physically bind the couple's hands together during the ceremony, representing their commitment and unity.

In addition to the handfasting cord, the altar may also feature a chalice or goblet filled with ceremonial wine or another liquid. This symbolises the heart and emotions, and the couple may share a drink from the chalice as part of the ritual. Candles are also commonly used, representing the element of fire or finding light in darkness. The colour of the candles holds significance, with white candles welcoming healing and harmony, and green candles signifying growth and abundance.

Other items that may be included on a pagan wedding altar are the wedding bands, if the ceremony is a marriage rite. There may also be stones or crystals, knives or athames (ceremonial daggers), flowers, wreaths, incense, and other items with spiritual significance to the couple. These objects are chosen for their personal meaning to the couple, so each altar is unique and reflects their individual beliefs and practices.

The altar is a sacred space and should be treated with respect. Guests are generally not allowed to touch or handle any of the items on the altar without permission. It is important to ask for guidance on etiquette if you wish to participate in any rituals involving the altar, such as lighting a candle or making offerings.

Pagan wedding celebrations

Attire and Accessories

Pagan wedding attire can vary, but dark colours, black wedding dresses, and Gothic styles are often chosen instead of the traditional white gown. Accessories such as capes, crowns, jackets, and veils can enhance the outfit. Pagan wedding rings may feature rubies, black sapphires, skulls, coffins, or astral elements.

Ceremony Ideas

• Sword or Dagger Exchange: Exchanging swords or daggers is a Pagan and Viking tradition and a unique alternative to ring exchanges.
• Handfasting: This ancient ritual involves tying the couple's hands together with cords or ribbons, symbolizing strength and unity. Pagans and Wiccans often use three cords to represent the mind-body-soul connection.
• Offerings to an Altar: Couples place meaningful items, such as candles or incense, on an altar as offerings to the gods or as a symbolic act of unity.
• Circle Formation: Guests gather in a circle around the couple and officiant, rather than the traditional audience-style seating.
• Nature Connection: Pagan ceremonies often take place outdoors to foster a deep connection with nature and the earth.
• Bay Leaf Burning: Burning bay leaves is a way to manifest desires and release negative energy. This ritual can be incorporated to acknowledge and let go of fears, worries, and anxieties before entering the next phase of life together.
• Blessing the Space: This involves lighting incense or sage, ringing bells, or tossing petals or herbs to create a spiritual circle and drive out negative energy.
• Ring Passing: Pagan couples may pass their wedding rings to their guests, who can give their blessings or well-wishes silently or aloud before returning the rings to be exchanged.

Other Ideas

• Tarot Card Reading: Tarot card readings can be incorporated, performed by someone experienced in channeling energy and interpreting the cards.
• Seasonal Celebration: Pagans can plan their wedding around the celebration of a season, such as the summer solstice, honouring the wheel of the year and the cycle of seasons.
• Music and Dance: Renaissance-themed music and dances can add a Pagan vibe to the celebration.

Low-Key and Inexpensive Ideas

For those seeking a more low-key and inexpensive pagan wedding, here are some suggestions:

• Handfasting Cord: Create a handfasting cord from strands of fabric, ribbon, or decorative rope, incorporating charms or other meaningful items.
• Flower Crowns: Flower crowns are a beautiful and natural addition to the bride's attire.
• Petals: Use petals for the aisle or entrance, creating a natural and colourful path for the bride.
• Candles and Chalices: Thrift stores or online sources can provide candles, jars, or chalices for rituals and decorations.
• Bonfire or Fire Pit: A small, controlled fire can be a relevant and intimate part of the celebration.
• Planting: Planting trees or bushes together symbolises nature, growth, and life.
• Wreaths: Big wreaths and wreath crowns made from natural materials can be used as decorations or accessories.
• Incense and Scents: Burning incense or scented oils, such as rose oil, can create a pleasant and sacred atmosphere.
• Food and Drink: Serve food and drinks with spiritual significance, and make offerings to the deities.

Frequently asked questions