The Best Man's Guide To Wedding Speeches And More

Being asked to be the best man at a wedding is a tough honour, but it's also a role that comes with a lot of responsibility. While you'll be in charge of everything from planning the bachelor party to safeguarding the rings, your speech is arguably the most meaningful duty. The best man's speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, and getting it right is essential. It's just 10 minutes or so on the day, but the memories of this speech will last a lifetime.

The best man's speech traditionally follows the groom's speech and may or may not follow the maid of honour's toast. It's a chance to say some kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. Wedding speeches are meant to be quick, lighthearted moments during the reception, so while you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it.

Icebreakers and jokes

Kick Things Off with a Light-Hearted Icebreaker or a Well-Chosen Joke:

• This will warm up the guests and calm your nerves. It will also set a friendly tone for the rest of your speech.
• "I was taught by my parents that if I had nothing good to say about someone, to sit down and be quiet... (Sit down).
• "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words—it's very touching that you still decided to come."
• "I've been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately, last night I slept like a baby—I woke up crying every two hours."

Introduce Yourself and Your Friendship with the Groom:

• Share how you met your best friend, which will help establish your connection with everyone in the room, especially those who may not know you well.
• "Welcome, everyone! My name is [Your Name], and it is an honour to be the best man here today. I've known [Groom's Name] since we were kids. He hates it when I take all the attention away from him, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of my speech."

Share Embarrassing (But Endearing) Stories about the Groom:

• This is a great opportunity to share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom. Keep the stories friendly and respectful.
• "I first met [Groom's Name] when we were in primary school together. Little did we know it would be the start of a beautiful friendship. Of course, [Groom's Name] was a complete square back then. The day he could read without putting his finger on the words and count without using his hands were real breakthrough moments in his life."

Compliment the Bride and Her Family:

• Share why the bride is incredible (think: kind, smart, funny). Compliment her gorgeous look and give a shout-out to her amazing family.
• "When [Bride's Name] first walked down the aisle, I swear the whole room gasped. She looks absolutely breathtaking in that dress—like a real-life princess. [Groom's Name], I don't know how you managed to keep your cool up there! I would've been a blubbering mess!"
• "I've got to give a special shout-out to [Bride's Name]'s parents, [Parents' Names]. Not only have they raised an incredible daughter, but they've also been like a second family to [Groom's Name]. I'll never forget the time they took us all on a camping trip and taught us how to fish. Well, they tried to, anyway!"

Remember to keep your icebreakers and jokes light-hearted, respectful, and clean. Practice your speech beforehand, and don't be afraid to include some backup cue cards in case your mind goes blank. Good luck, and cheers to the happy couple!

Introducing yourself

The best man's speech is a chance to say kind words about your relationship with the couple and your best friend. It's a quick, lighthearted moment during the reception, so while you should put effort into crafting thoughtful words, you don't have to overthink it. Here are some tips for introducing yourself:

• Have a killer opening line. Successful best man speeches always start with a good opener. You can share a quick joke or quote a poem so your speech doesn't start off stale. For example, "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous."
• After your opening, introduce yourself. Share how you met the groom, which will help establish your connection to everyone else in the room, particularly those who may not know you well. You might even have a humorous tale about your first encounter.
• If you're two best men making a joint speech, consider introducing yourselves with a twist. For example, "Good evening, if you’re in this room and don’t know me by now, then you’re probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I’ve been best friends with [groom] for 25 years..."
• If you're the best man for your brother, you can have some fun with the introduction by alluding to how upset you were when your number one priority spot was usurped by a noisy, ugly ginger baby.
• Keep it short and sweet. The ideal length for a best man's speech is around seven minutes.

What to Include in Your Speech

• Thank the other speakers. Once you've addressed the audience and introduced yourself, give a shout-out to the previous speaker to help lead into your speech.
• Express gratitude to the couple's parents for raising incredible adults and, if they helped pay for the wedding, for hosting a great party.
• Give a special shout-out to the groom's new spouse so they feel welcomed and included. Talk about the qualities you like about them and why you love them being in the groom's life.
• Share personal stories and anecdotes, like your favourite memories with the groom (and their partner, if you want). Avoid choosing a story that rambles on and has no sentimental or funny ending—keep it lighthearted and short.
• Speak about why the groom and their new spouse are a great couple. Share how they first met and how their relationship has grown so that other guests can gain insight into the newlyweds.
• Close out your speech with a heartfelt toast. Ask everyone to raise a glass and provide well wishes to the newly married couple.

Reading out messages

If you want to make your speech more meaningful, you could also share a few words about the couple's relationship. Speak about why the groom and their new spouse are a great couple. Share how they first met and how their relationship has grown so that guests can gain a better insight into the newlyweds. If you played a part in bringing the couple together, you could say something like: ""I know I said earlier I'm the best man, but I lied. I'm actually Cupid because I'm the one who introduced these two eight years ago".

You could also use this part of the speech to give a special shout-out to the new spouse, so they feel welcomed and included. Although you may have a closer relationship with the groom, don't let that stop you from showering them with kind words – it's their big day, too. Talk about the qualities you like about them and why you love having them in the groom's life. Try something like: "I'm so happy [Spouse's Name] fell in love with [Groom's Name]. Firsthand I've seen the grace, intelligence and confidence [Spouse's Name] has, which explains why [Groom's Name] knew he wanted to marry [Spouse's Name] after their first date".

Storytelling and anecdotes

The storytelling and anecdotes section of your best man speech is the key to the whole thing. It's your chance to take your audience on a journey through your friendship with the groom and give an overview of who he is as a person. If you've known each other since school, you can walk down memory lane with some childhood stories. Were there any silly reasons he always ended up in detention? Did he used to stick up for you against the school bullies? Mix up fun stories with happy memories – this is not about humiliating him to get a laugh.

If you're feeling nervous about all the attention being on you, you can use some props to help weave your story. You could put together a slideshow of photos – maybe some from childhood, and some funny more recent shots, too. Or you can pick a theme – if he's known for always wearing the same jumper or shirt, get the photographic evidence out.

Does he always do the same pose in pictures? Show the guests! Another great prop idea is to write a humorous rhyme, or if you have the singing skills, a song or rap. You could even read a mock school report or CV, with funny and ridiculous achievements.

When telling stories in your best man's speech, it's important to stay true to yourself. There's no need to play a role just because you're standing in front of an audience. For instance, if you're not known as the comedian among your friends, you shouldn't feel compelled to crack a series of jokes. Similarly, if sentimentality isn’t your usual style, don’t force it. Keeping things light and straightforward is perfectly acceptable.

Your authenticity will resonate more genuinely with both the newlyweds and their guests, making your speech more impactful and memorable.

The trick to writing a really entertaining speech is to make the whole thing a story, rather than dragging the audience through endless tales. Recounting anecdotes is hard because they require a lot of detail and all the time you're getting to the punchline without making people laugh can be counterproductive. Of course, this can all pay off if you have a killer punchline, but they aren't always 'killer' and require people to have been there.

Instead, take out the good bits from the stories and condense them, even embellish slightly into one neat burst of comedy.

Examples

"Now as he embarked on adult life, Nick was to learn the hard way just what it is to be a man, and the number one rule is: if you are going to offer to buy the drinks in happy hour, it’s best not to drop them all when you get back to the table, thus meaning you have to go and buy them all again once happy hour has finished. Also, you should only ever do a runner from a restaurant via the roof if you HAVEN’T actually paid the bill. Leaving Prezzo’s this way one evening after settling up and leaving a good tip, still doesn’t make any sense to anyone."

"Anyway, when Mark wasn’t failing to hit the top spot in the classroom, he was also finding it difficult on the sports field as well. However, with a modest talent and even less interest, he did the only sensible thing to do: he saved up all his skill and enthusiasm for one split second of genius. Quite how he managed to catch the impossible cricket ball as it left our sports master’s bat is still completely unknown. But with uncharacteristic razor-sharp reactions and gazelle-like agility, he did just that and won his side the match. Literally seconds after this, Mark retired from all forms of competitive sport – at the very top of his game."

"There weren’t many highlights to being on minimum wage in the frozen section of nobody’s favourite supermarket, in fact, if I remember rightly, there was only one. Nick had been asked to use his initiative to dispose of a 2-litre tub of chocolate ice cream. Well, Nick decides to take it into the staff toilets and empty it into the loo. Ladies and gentlemen, a big tub of melting chocolate ice cream can make a big impression when poured into a toilet and can only ever give the next person in there the wrong idea. And it did. From then on, half the people thought he had dodgy guts, the rest thought he ate on the toilet. Both of which, are in fact, true."

"I remember when we first met in first grade. [Groom's name] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."

"I first met [Groom's name] while working at a pizza joint called Domenica's while in college. I hated being a server with all my heart, but whenever [Groom's name] and I were scheduled together, it made it so much more bearable. We laughed until we cried, ate hundreds of garlic knots, and I can't tell you the amount of times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions. But even after we both quit and moved on to bigger and better things, we still kept in touch, and I'm eternally grateful."

Advice and compliments

The best man's speech is a big deal and a chance to make the bride feel special and celebrated. It's also an opportunity to shine a unique light on the couple's relationship. While the best man is expected to be funny, the speech should be more than that. It should be heartfelt and include advice and compliments.

Advice

The best man can give light-hearted yet sincere advice to the newlyweds. If you're married, you and your partner could share some golden rules for a happy marriage. If not, you could ask married friends and family for their tips. You could also reference famous couples from TV or movies, such as the quote from Grey's Anatomy:

> "To love each other, even when we hate each other. No running – ever. Nobody walks out no matter what happens. Take care when old, senile, smelly. This is forever."

Compliments

Compliment the bride by sharing her amazing qualities, such as her kindness, intelligence, and sense of humour. Tell embarrassing yet endearing stories that showcase her incredible qualities. Compliment her appearance, even if you know nothing about fashion or makeup. You could say something like:

> "When [Bride] first walked down the aisle, I swear the whole room gasped. She looks absolutely breathtaking in that dress – like a real-life princess. [Groom], I don't know how you managed to keep your cool up there. I would've been a blubbering mess!"

You could also give a shout-out to the bride's family, sharing funny or heartfelt stories about them. This will show your appreciation for the important people in the bride's life and will probably earn you some brownie points with the in-laws!

Frequently asked questions