Indian Wedding Dates: Events And Customs Before Confirmation

Indian weddings are a vibrant, multi-day celebration filled with cultural events and rituals. The lead-up to the wedding is just as important as the wedding day itself, with several pre-wedding ceremonies taking place. These events are a time for both families to come together and celebrate the union of the couple. One of the most important pre-wedding ceremonies is the engagement, where the fathers of the soon-to-be-married individuals announce the wedding to the guests, and the couple exchanges rings. Another significant ceremony is the Tilak/Sagan ceremony, which is considered the first step in bonding the two families. This usually takes place at the groom's residence, with the male members of the bride's family visiting to apply kumkum or vermilion to his forehead.

Engagement: The couple exchanges rings, with fathers vouching for their children and making a formal announcement

The engagement ceremony is a significant pre-wedding ritual in Indian culture, marking the first official event of the wedding for the couple. It is a fun-filled celebration held at either the bride's or groom's home, with close relatives and friends from both sides in attendance. The exchange of rings is a newer tradition, influenced by Western customs, but it is not mandatory or common in all Indian weddings.

During the engagement ceremony, the fathers of the soon-to-be-married couple typically speak highly of their children and make a formal wedding announcement to the invited guests. The couple then exchanges rings to solidify their engagement. In some cultures, the groom's father may request the hand of the bride from her father, and the bride's father will then announce that he will plan the wedding ceremony at an appropriate date in the future.

In some Indian states, the engagement ceremony has different names and rituals. For instance, in Kashmiri Pandit culture, the formal engagement ceremony is known as "Kasamdry", and the dates are fixed by family priests according to the Kashmiri Calendar. In contrast, the Punjabi Hindu and Sikh communities refer to the engagement ceremony as "Kurmai" or "Shagan", which usually takes place several days before the wedding.

The exchange of rings during the engagement ceremony is a universal tradition in India, signifying the official union of the couple in the presence of their loved ones. This ritual is often accompanied by the exchange of gifts, sweets, fruits, and other tokens of affection between the families.

Tilak/Sagan Ceremony: Male members of the bride's family visit the groom's residence to perform a ceremony, with music and dance

The Tilak/Sagan ceremony is one of the first wedding ceremonies in Indian culture and is considered the first step in bonding the two families. Male members of the bride's family, including her father, brother, uncles, and cousins, visit the groom's residence to perform a ceremony. The father of the bride applies a tilak, a mark of auspiciousness, on the groom's forehead to signify that the groom is now ready for marriage and that the bride's family has accepted him as their future son-in-law. The bride's brother then follows suit as a mark of respect and acceptance, after which he presents the groom with gifts such as clothes, sweets, fruits, flowers, garlands, and token money. The other male members of the bride's family also perform the same ritual.

The Tilak ceremony is accompanied by music and dance in many Indian states. A small hawan and pooja also take place, where a priest chants mantras to seek blessings. After the ceremony, refreshments are served to celebrate the new accord between the two families, and the groom's family sends gifts for the bride.

The Tilak ceremony was traditionally held about a month before the wedding, but this timing has become more flexible in modern times. The date and time of the ceremony are decided according to the convenience of both families.

Haldi Ceremony: Turmeric, oil and water are rubbed on the couple, usually by married men and women

The Haldi ceremony is one of the most loved pre-wedding rituals in Indian weddings. During the ceremony, a mixture of turmeric, oil, and water is rubbed on the bride and groom. Typically, only married men and women from both families perform this ritual. The ceremony is often held a day before or on the morning of the wedding day at the respective houses of the couple.

The Haldi ceremony is considered auspicious and is celebrated with the intention of skin beautification for the couple before their wedding day. Turmeric is known for its beauty benefits, keeping the skin clear, and bringing radiance and glow. The rich yellow colour of the turmeric is also considered holy and auspicious according to Hindu traditions, bringing peace and prosperity to the married couple. The ceremony is also believed to protect the couple from the evil eye and any bad omens before the wedding.

The Haldi paste is made from turmeric powder, sandalwood powder, and rose water or water. The paste is applied to five specific body parts: the face/neck, arms, hands, knees, and feet. The bride and groom wear traditional attire, with the bride in a sari and the groom in a kurta pajama. While the ceremony takes place, family members gather around to sing traditional songs and take turns applying the paste to the couple, offering their blessings.

The Haldi ceremony is a fun and joyous occasion filled with light-hearted dances, laughter, and well-wishes for the soon-to-be-wed couple. It is a meaningful and significant ritual that marks the start of the Hindu wedding rituals and the beginning of a new life together for the couple.

Mehendi Ceremony: Henna is applied to the bride's hands and feet, with music and dance

The Mehendi Ceremony is a fun and important pre-wedding ritual in Indian culture. It involves applying henna to the bride's hands and feet, and sometimes includes the groom as well. The ceremony usually takes place in the evening, a week or a day before the wedding, and is filled with music, dance, and colourful decorations.

The Ceremony

The Mehendi Ceremony is a joyous occasion, with the bride's hands and feet adorned with intricate henna patterns. The ceremony is often held outdoors, with colourful decorations, live performers, and photobooths. The bride's female friends and family members, including her mother, sisters, cousins, aunts, and bridesmaids, participate in the ceremony. In some cases, the groom may also choose to have henna applied. The ceremony is accompanied by traditional songs and the playing of instruments like the dholak. There may also be choreographed dance performances by the bride, groom, and their families, which have been rehearsed for months.

The Significance

Mehendi is considered a form of body art and has ancient origins in India and across South Asia and the Middle East. It is believed that the deeper the colour of the bride's Mehendi, the happier the couple's married life will be. The intricate designs applied to the bride's hands and feet are said to bring blessings, luck, joy, and love to the couple. Traditionally, it is also believed that the Mehendi will calm the bride's nerves due to its natural cooling properties.

The Timing

The Mehendi Ceremony usually takes place at night during the week before the wedding, marking the beginning of the wedding festivities. It is traditionally hosted by the bride's parents, although modern ceremonies may include the groom's side as well. The event typically lasts around three to four hours.

The Attire

The Mehendi Ceremony is a colourful and vibrant occasion, and the dress code reflects this. Guests are encouraged to wear colourful, Indian-inspired outfits, such as a lengha or a salwar kameez. Bright colours like orange, green, blue, pink, and yellow are popular choices. The bride may also choose to have her bridesmaids or family wear a specific colour to distinguish their side of the family.

Roka Ceremony: Families meet and exchange gifts, with a priest sometimes performing a puja

The Roka ceremony is a significant pre-wedding ritual in Indian weddings, marking the first official step towards marriage. It is a celebration of the union of two families and is often hosted at the bride's house or a banquet hall.

During the Roka ceremony, the families of the bride and groom meet, exchange gifts, sweets, dry fruits and fruits, and offer blessings for the couple's future. The Roka ceremony also includes a Tilak ceremony, where a paste of vermilion and rice grains is applied to the couple's foreheads.

In some cases, a priest is arranged to perform a puja, seeking blessings for the couple's journey together. The priest recites holy verses, which the couple may repeat, and the families participate in the puja.

The Roka ceremony is usually an intimate affair with only close relatives in attendance. However, some families prefer to host it on a larger scale, inviting friends and extended family.

The Roka ceremony is a significant event as it is the first time the two families officially come together to celebrate the union of the couple. It is a time for the couple to get to know each other's families and visualise their future together. The ceremony is often followed by social visits to extended family, where the couple receives blessings and well-wishes.

The Roka ceremony is a fun-filled and exciting event, with gifts, food, and sometimes a couple's dance, all contributing to a memorable celebration.

Frequently asked questions