The Case For Keeping Things Small

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There are many reasons why you might not want a big wedding. For some, the idea of being the centre of attention is a nightmare. For others, it's the cost, the stress, or the pressure of living up to societal expectations. Whatever your reason, it's important to remember that you're not alone. More and more couples are opting for smaller, more intimate celebrations or elopements. And that's okay! Your wedding day should be a reflection of you and your partner—a day that feels authentic and special. So, if you're not a fan of big weddings, don't feel pressured to have one. There are plenty of other ways to celebrate your love authentically and meaningfully.

Characteristics Values
Reasons for not wanting a big wedding Feels impersonal; you or your fiancé are introverts; it's expensive; you value experience and authenticity over what a wedding day should look like
Reasons for eloping It feels intimate, personal, and authentic; it's romantic; you can do whatever you want
Guest list Can be just the couple, or up to 25 guests for a micro-wedding
Officiant and witnesses An officiant is required to make the wedding legal and official; some states require at least one or two other witnesses
Family and friends' reactions People may feel left out, but they should still be happy for you and your fiancé; it's sometimes impossible to invite everyone
Location Can be anywhere in the world, e.g. your favourite national park, a beach, or an Airbnb
Planning time Anywhere between 2 weeks to 16 months in advance
Cost On average, elopements cost between $10,000-$15,000

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Eloping means more money for a house or honeymoon

Eloping is a great option for couples who want to celebrate their love in a way that is meaningful and authentic to them. It can also be a more financially savvy option, allowing couples to allocate their resources as they desire. For instance, they can choose to invest in a luxurious honeymoon, put a down payment on a house, or work towards other financial goals.

The cost of a traditional wedding can be staggering, with expenses such as the venue, dress, catering, and decorations quickly adding up. By opting for a more intimate elopement, couples can save a significant amount of money. This can be especially beneficial for those who are looking to purchase a home or are facing other financial commitments.

Additionally, eloping can provide an opportunity for couples to have a unique and personalised experience. They can choose to get married in a meaningful location, whether it's a special place from their relationship or a breathtaking destination. They can also use the money saved to splurge on a once-in-a-lifetime honeymoon or invest in other experiences that align with their interests and values.

For example, adventurous couples might opt for a helicopter ride to exchange their vows on a glacier, while nature lovers might choose to hike up a mountain and celebrate at the top. The possibilities are endless, and eloping gives couples the freedom to create a wedding experience that truly reflects their personalities and interests.

While eloping may not be the right choice for everyone, it can be an excellent option for those who want to prioritise their financial goals, such as saving for a house, while still celebrating their love in a meaningful and memorable way. By forgoing the traditional wedding, couples can create a unique and intimate experience that allows them to focus on what truly matters to them as a couple.

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Eloping avoids social anxiety and stress

Eloping is a great option for couples who want to avoid the stress and anxiety that can come with planning a traditional wedding. Here are some reasons why choosing to elope can be a better option for your mental health and overall well-being:

Avoid Social Anxiety

For people with social anxiety, the idea of being the centre of attention at a wedding can be overwhelming. Eloping allows you to avoid this pressure and stress, as it is a more intimate and private affair. You can choose to have only your partner present or a small group of close family and friends, reducing the feeling of being watched or judged. This can help you feel more relaxed and comfortable on your special day.

Reduce Planning Complexity

Traditional weddings often involve months or even years of planning, which can be a source of stress and anxiety for couples. Eloping simplifies the planning process, as it usually requires less organisation and can be done in a shorter amount of time. You don't have to worry about finding a venue, catering for a large group, or coordinating a complex timeline with multiple vendors. This reduced complexity can significantly lower your stress levels.

Save Money

Big weddings can be incredibly expensive, and the financial burden can cause stress and anxiety for couples. Eloping is often a more affordable option, as you have a smaller guest list and don't need to rent out a large venue. You can allocate your money towards other priorities, such as a dream honeymoon or a down payment on a house, reducing financial worries.

Focus on Your Relationship

Eloping allows you to focus on your relationship and what is meaningful to both of you, rather than getting caught up in the expectations of others. You can design a day that reflects your shared interests and values, whether it's an adventurous hike or a romantic getaway. This intentionality can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories that are true to who you are as a couple.

Avoid Family Drama

Family dynamics and expectations can be a significant source of stress when planning a traditional wedding. Eloping gives you more control over your guest list and the involvement of family members. While some family members may feel left out, it is your day, and they should ultimately respect your decision. By minimising family involvement, you can reduce potential drama and conflict, creating a more peaceful and positive experience.

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Eloping can be more romantic

It's less stressful

Planning a wedding can be extremely stressful, and the anxiety of the process can negatively impact your relationship with your loved ones. Eloping lifts that pressure and allows couples to call all the shots without outside interference. It's also a lot less stressful to plan an elopement than a big wedding, as there are fewer variables and details to worry about.

It's more intimate and private

Eloping is a personal, intimate, and romantic way to get married. It allows couples to focus 100% on what they want and fully embrace activities they both love to celebrate their union. It's also a great option for couples who feel anxious about being the centre of attention in front of a large group of people.

It's more affordable

On average, a traditional wedding costs $30,000+, whereas elopements typically cost between $3,000 and $15,000. By eloping, couples can save money and spend their budget on other financial goals, such as a honeymoon, a house, or their dream elopement dress.

It's more spontaneous and adventurous

Elopements can be adventurous and often take place in stunning, remote locations. Couples can go on epic adventures together and travel the world, creating amazing memories that will last a lifetime. Elopements can also be planned relatively quickly, in less than 3 months, whereas traditional weddings typically require a year or more of planning.

It's free of family drama

Eloping allows couples to avoid drama and conflict with family and friends. It can be difficult to navigate the guest list for a big wedding, especially if there are qualms between family members. Eloping removes that stress and allows couples to celebrate their marriage without worrying about who to invite and where to seat everyone.

It's eco-friendly

Traditional weddings with 150+ guests can produce between 400 and 600 pounds of trash, including single-use decorations, catering, napkins, plates, and flowers. Elopements, on the other hand, produce far less waste and are a more sustainable option for couples who want to reduce their environmental impact.

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Eloping is more authentic

Eloping is a modern, intentional, and meaningful way to get married. It is a rejection of the traditional wedding and the expectations, rules, and stress that come with it. Eloping is about celebrating your relationship in a way that is authentic to you. It is about doing what you want to do, not what you are expected to do.

Eloping is a non-conforming, non-traditional, and alternative way to get married. It is a way to be yourself and to be true to yourself and your partner. It is a way to be genuine and authentic.

Eloping is about prioritising your relationship and your commitment to one another over outside distractions and expectations. It is about creating a safe place where you can be yourselves. It is about being free from outside input and opinions.

Eloping is about creating a wedding day that is focused on you and your partner, not your guests. It is about being able to spend your money on the things that matter to you, not on things like centrepieces, invitations, and napkins. It is about valuing experiences over stuff.

Eloping is about creating a day that is truly yours.

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Eloping is a chance to wear something else

If you're considering eloping, you might be drawn to the idea of a more relaxed and intimate setting for your wedding. And with that, comes the opportunity to wear something that feels true to you and your personal style.

When it comes to elopement attire, there are no rules. You can wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident. If you've always dreamed of wearing a non-traditional wedding outfit, eloping is the perfect opportunity to do so. Whether it's a white lace dress, a colourful ensemble, or something entirely different, the choice is yours.

For example, one person shared that they would wear a white dress for their elopement, but one that costs less than $200 and that they could wear again. They also mentioned that eloping would give them the freedom to wear something without fear of judgement. Another couple chose to have a small ceremony with immediate family and close friends, followed by a nice dinner, forgoing the traditional wedding attire altogether.

So, if you're leaning towards eloping, use it as an opportunity to express yourself and wear something that reflects your unique style and personality.

Frequently asked questions

There are many reasons why a couple might not want a big wedding. Some common reasons include financial constraints, a desire for a more intimate setting, or a preference for non-traditional celebrations. Additionally, one or both partners may have social anxiety or introverted personalities, making the idea of being the centre of attention at a large event unappealing.

There are several alternatives to a big, traditional wedding. One option is to elope, which means getting married privately or with a small group of guests, sometimes in a unique location. Another option is to have a micro-wedding, which typically includes a guest list of up to 25 people. Couples can also opt for a small, intimate wedding with a limited guest list or choose to have a private ceremony followed by a larger reception at a later date.

It is natural for family and friends to have certain expectations or feel left out if they are not invited to a traditional wedding. However, it is important to remember that your wedding day should reflect your wishes as a couple. Communicate your decision and explain that you want their support and understanding. Most people will ultimately be happy for you, even if they may initially feel disappointed.

Smaller weddings and elopements offer several benefits. They tend to be more affordable, allowing couples to save money or spend it on other priorities, such as a dream honeymoon or a new home. They also provide more privacy and time for the couple to enjoy their special day without the pressure of entertaining a large group. Smaller weddings can be less stressful to plan and allow for more customisation and unique experiences.

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