Asking Bridesmaids: In Person Or Not?

Asking someone to be your bridesmaid is an exciting part of the wedding planning process. But when is the best time to pop the question? While you can ask whenever you like, it's generally recommended to wait until around 8-12 months before the wedding. This gives your bridesmaids enough time to plan the bachelorette party and buy their dresses, and it also reduces the risk of falling out with someone you asked too early. However, if you have a shorter engagement, you might want to give your bridal party 5-8 months' notice to plan. It's also a good idea to have a venue and date booked before you ask, so your bridesmaids know exactly what they're committing to.

How soon is too soon?

Asking your friends to be your bridesmaids too soon can lead to some issues down the line. While it's an exciting time and you may be eager to get planning, it's worth waiting until you have a solid plan in place.

Firstly, you need to know your wedding date. Asking your bridesmaids before you have a date means holding their personal calendar hostage until you make your plans, which isn't fair to them. Knowing the date will also help your bridesmaids to know whether or not they can commit.

Secondly, it's a good idea to wait until you have a clear vision of your wedding. Knowing the details, like the colours, themes, and venue, will help your bridesmaids to understand what they're signing up for. It will also help you to communicate any specific requests or preferences for their involvement.

Thirdly, take some time to think about who you want to ask. While you may have a few people in mind, it's worth waiting to see if your relationships change over time. You may also want to wait to see how many groomsmen your fiancé wants to have and come up with a joint number together.

The general consensus is that it's best to ask your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. This will give them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and get their dresses. Asking any earlier may not give them enough time to make the necessary commitments.

How to ask?

Asking your friends and family to be your bridesmaids is an exciting part of the wedding planning process. But when is the best time to pop the question? Here are some tips on how to ask your bridal party to be part of your big day.

Timing is Everything

It is best not to rush into asking your bridal party. Even if you have known who you want in your wedding party for a long time, it is a good idea to wait until you have a solid plan and are prepared to answer any questions they may have. This includes knowing the more specific details of your wedding, such as the colours, themes, and venue, as well as the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen you would like. It is also important to discuss these decisions with your partner first and ensure you are both on the same page. The recommended timeline for asking is 8-12 months before your wedding. This gives your bridal party enough time to plan and commit to being there for all the events, including the bachelorette party. However, if you have a shorter engagement period, 5-8 months' notice should still be sufficient.

Ways to Ask

There are many fun and creative ways to ask your loved ones to be part of your bridal party. Here are some ideas:

• Give them a special gift box with goodies, confetti, and a card
• Bake cookies and ice the big question on them
• Confetti-filled balloons with a handwritten note inside
• Customized champagne glasses with "bridal party" or "bridesmaid" written on them
• Scratch-off cards with the question hidden underneath
• Personalized candles with their names and your wedding date
• DIY flower bouquets with a note attached asking the recipient to be your bridesmaid
• Customized jewellery or accessories with their initials
• Fortune cookies with a customised message inside
• Personalised photo album or scrapbook with your favourite photos of you and each member of the bridal party

Remember, the most important thing is to make the moment special and show your appreciation for their help and involvement in your wedding.

Should you ask in person or by phone?

Asking your friends and family to be your bridesmaids is one of the most exciting parts of getting engaged and starting your wedding planning journey. While you can ask them whenever you like, there are a few things to consider to avoid any hiccups.

Firstly, don't rush into it. Even if you know exactly who you want to include in your bridal party, it's a good idea to take some time before asking them. You'll want to be prepared to answer any questions they may have once they agree to be part of your big day. It's also a good idea to wait until you have a solid plan and have discussed your decisions with your partner.

The timing of your ask will also depend on the length of your engagement. If you have a long engagement, it's generally recommended to wait until 8-12 months before the wedding to ask your bridesmaids. This is because a lot can change in your relationships over time, and you may find that you're no longer as close to certain people as you once were. Asking your bridesmaids too early can also lead to them declining your offer if they don't want to commit so far in advance.

If you have a shorter engagement, make sure to give your bridal party enough notice to plan for the wedding – about 5-8 months in advance. This will give them enough time to commit to all the events and help you with the organisation.

When asking your bridal party to be in the wedding, you can make it a special and creative experience. Some ideas include giving them a gift box with a card, baking cookies with the question iced on them, or filling balloons with confetti and adding a handwritten note inside.

Remember, the final decision for how and when to ask your bridal party is up to you and your partner. It's your wedding, so feel confident in your choices!

What if you have a short engagement?

If you're planning a short engagement, you may be wondering when to ask your bridesmaids. While it's exciting to start planning right away, it's important to give your potential bridesmaids enough time to plan and budget for their role in your wedding.

The general rule is to ask your bridesmaids anywhere between a year to eight months before your wedding. This gives them enough time to plan the bachelorette party and get their dresses. However, if you're on a tighter schedule, you can still pick your VIPs earlier. The key is to give them enough notice so they can keep their calendars free and set their budgets.

For a short engagement, we advise picking your bridesmaids about a third of the way through your planning process. This will give your bridesmaids plenty of time to prepare and ensure their availability. It's also important to have a follow-up conversation with each bridesmaid to discuss their responsibilities and address any concerns or questions they may have.

While it's exciting to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids, it's important to take the time to consider your relationships and who you want by your side on your special day. Don't rush into asking people, as plans can change, and you may want to adjust the size of your bridal party as you plan your wedding.

Remember, asking someone to be your bridesmaid is a big deal, so take a formal approach and meet with them in person or schedule a video call if they're not local. This shows your friends that you value their participation and that their role is important to you.

What if you have a large bridal party?

If you're planning to have a large bridal party, it's important to consider a few things to ensure that your request is well-received and that your bridal party is set up for success. Here are some tips to help you navigate this process:

• Give it time: While it's exciting to want to ask your friends to be your bridesmaids right after getting engaged, it's advisable to wait. This is especially important if you're planning to have a large bridal party. Take the time to consider your relationships and who you truly want by your side. Waiting also allows you to iron out logistical details and have a solid plan before extending the invitation.
• Be mindful of the dynamics: A large bridal party can be a lot of fun, but it also means more people with different personalities, schedules, and opinions. Be mindful of potential dynamics and try to choose a group of people who will get along and work together harmoniously.
• Communicate expectations: When you have a large bridal party, it's crucial to communicate your expectations clearly. Be upfront about the level of involvement, time commitment, and financial obligations. This will help your bridesmaids make an informed decision and ensure everyone is on the same page.
• Consider their circumstances: Keep in mind that being a bridesmaid comes with responsibilities and expenses. When asking a large group, be considerate of each person's circumstances. Some of your friends may be dealing with time or financial constraints that could impact their ability to fulfil the role.
• Ask in person or individually: While it can be tempting to ask your large bridal party all at once, especially if they know each other, it's more meaningful to ask each person individually. This can be done in person or via a phone call, showing that you value their presence and giving them a chance to ask questions.
• Introduce the group: Once everyone has accepted, take the initiative to facilitate introductions, especially if your bridal party includes people from different stages of your life. This can be done through a group text, a private Facebook group, or an in-person gathering, helping everyone get to know each other and fostering a sense of unity within the group.
• Embrace flexibility: Remember that the number of bridesmaids doesn't matter as much as having the right people by your side. Be flexible and focus on choosing a group that you genuinely want to include, regardless of the final count.

Frequently asked questions