Personal Wedding Invites: A Necessary Precursor?

Creating a wedding guest list can be a challenging part of wedding planning. It is important to consider your budget and venue when deciding how many people to invite. While it is not necessary to invite everyone you know, it is a nice gesture to personally invite those you are closest to. This can be done by creating a document titled I Am So Excited to Have These People at Our Wedding and listing the friends and family who come to mind first. You can also skim through your phone to see who you text or hang out with often. Once you have your list, compare notes with your partner and decide on a final guest list. It is also a good idea to give yourself enough time to send out invitations, with most couples mailing them out six to eight weeks before the wedding.

Should you invite people you've lost touch with?

Planning a wedding can be stressful, especially when it comes to deciding on a guest list. It's natural to want to share your special day with the people you love, but what about those you've lost touch with? Here are some things to consider when deciding whether to invite people you haven't spoken to in a while:

• The nature of your relationship: Ask yourself if you still consider this person a close friend. If you've drifted apart and no longer feel a strong connection, it's okay not to invite them. On the other hand, if you value the friendship and want to rekindle the relationship, an invitation could be a good way to reconnect.
• The reason for losing touch: Think about why you lost touch with this person. If it was due to a falling out or unresolved conflict, it might be best to address those issues before inviting them to your wedding. However, if you simply grew apart due to distance or different life paths, an invitation could be an opportunity to reconnect.
• The impact on your budget and venue capacity: Weddings can be expensive, and the cost per guest adds up quickly. Consider your budget constraints and venue capacity when deciding whether to invite someone you've lost touch with. If including them means exceeding your budget or leaving out someone else who is important to you, it might be better to leave them off the guest list.
• The potential for future reconnection: If you don't invite this person, will it permanently damage the friendship? Are you open to reconnecting with them in the future? If you think there's a possibility of rekindling the friendship down the line, it might be worth inviting them to avoid burning bridges.
• The comfort level of the guest: Consider whether the person you've lost touch with would even feel comfortable attending your wedding. If they don't know anyone else at the event, they might feel out of place or awkward. In this case, it might be better to reach out and reconnect before the wedding, rather than putting them in a potentially uncomfortable situation.
• The potential impact on your wedding day: Finally, ask yourself if having this person at your wedding will enhance your experience or cause unnecessary stress. If their presence will bring you joy and happiness, then go for it! But if you anticipate drama, conflict, or negative energy, it might be best to leave them off the guest list.

Remember, your wedding day is about celebrating your love and surrounding yourself with people who bring you joy. Don't feel obligated to invite everyone you've ever been close to. Use these considerations as a guide to help you make the best decision for yourself and your partner.

Should you invite people you don't know well?

It's your wedding, so it's important to have people around you who truly matter. You can invite whoever you want, but be prepared for a higher number of people declining if you don't invite their partners, especially if they will be travelling a long way.

If you're finding that you have to invite people you don't know to include their partners, could you rethink your guest list? It may be that you're not in touch with some of your guests very often if you've never met their long-term partners. Could you cut some of these people that you don't know so well?

If you don't want to cut people from your guest list, you could invite their partners to the evening only. This is a common practice in the UK, where it is more acceptable not to invite partners you don't know.

If you do decide to invite people you don't know well, it's recommended to send a save-the-date to these guests as well. You don't have to send them to the entire guest list, just to out-of-town guests and family so you can refine the guest list later if you need to.

Should you invite people you don't get along with?

It is generally advised that you should only invite people to your wedding who you are close with and want to celebrate with. Wedding planner Jove Meyer advises, "Weddings are not a show, they are not a performance. They are a celebration of your love, and only those you love and are close to should be included."

If you don't get along with someone, it is likely that you are not close and do not want to celebrate your wedding with them. In this case, you should not feel obliged to invite them. Wedding planner Chanda Daniels says, "My guideline is if you wouldn't take that person out to a $300-plus meal—think of the cost per person for an average wedding—then they don't need to get a wedding invitation."

Meyer also notes that "you should not have to invite anyone out of obligation. All guests should be invited because you and your family want them there and enjoy spending time together." If you don't get along with someone, it is unlikely that you want them there, and it is perfectly acceptable to decline to invite them.

However, there may be some exceptions. For example, if the person is a close relative, you may want to consider inviting them despite your differences. Meyer acknowledges that "family is complicated, and we are inclined to include everyone, even if they have not been, or may not be, kind." In this case, it may be a good idea to have a conversation with them about your expectations for their behaviour at the wedding beforehand.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to invite someone you don't get along with is a personal one and will depend on the specific circumstances of your relationship with that person.

Should you invite people you don't have space for?

It is not recommended to invite people to your wedding if you don't have the space for them. Budget and space are valid reasons for not inviting someone to your wedding. Lizzie Post, the great-great-granddaughter of etiquette extraordinaire Emily Post, advises that you should be honest, straightforward, and mindful of their feelings.

If you are worried about offending people, there are other ways to include them in the celebration. For example, you could hold a second reception and invite those who weren't at the wedding, or have an intimate dinner with them after you get back from your honeymoon.

It is also important to remember that it is your wedding, and you should make the decisions about the guest list. Wedding planning can be stressful, but it is important to keep in mind that it is an exciting time and you should be looking forward to celebrating your love story.

Should you invite people you can't afford to invite?

It is generally considered poor etiquette to invite guests to your wedding and expect them to pay for their own meals. However, there are ways to get around this. For example, you could have a small, intimate ceremony followed by a larger reception, or you could ask guests to pay for their meals at the reception. If you do choose to ask guests to pay for their meals, it is important to be clear about this on the invitation. You could include a note such as "no host" or "visit the restaurant's website for menu and pricing information." Another option is to have a potluck-style reception where guests bring their own food and drinks. This can be a more affordable option for the couple and allows guests to contribute to the celebration. Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to invite people you can't afford to invite is a personal one and should be based on your own financial situation and preferences.

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