Engagement Party Hostesses: Wedding Invite Expectations

Engagement parties are a great way to kickstart the wedding celebrations and bring together the couple's family and friends. But what about the hostess? Should she be invited to the wedding too? Traditionally, the bride's parents host the engagement party, but nowadays, anyone from the groom's parents to friends of the couple may host the event. The couple may even decide to host their own party. It is considered good etiquette to invite all engagement party guests to the wedding too. However, this is not always feasible, especially if the wedding is small or held at a distant location. In such cases, it is advisable to inform guests about the intimate nature of the wedding during the engagement party planning stage.

Engagement party hostesses should be invited to the wedding

If you are planning to host an engagement party, it is important to first finalise your wedding guest list. This way, you can ensure that anyone you invite to pre-wedding celebrations will also be invited to the wedding.

If you are hosting a very small wedding, destination wedding, or elopement, but still want to throw a large engagement party, it is acceptable to do so. However, it is important to let guests know during the engagement party planning that the wedding will be intimate, so that no feelings are hurt when guests are not invited to the wedding.

If you are worried about friends and family assuming that you are hosting a large engagement party solely to receive gifts, you can include a note in the invitation requesting no presents.

The bride's parents traditionally host the engagement party

If the couple identifies as a bride and groom, it is traditional for the bride's parents to host the first of the engagement parties. However, the groom's parents can throw their own party later, or both sets of parents can come together to host and pay for the event.

The bride's parents can choose to host a classic cocktail party at their home, but they might also opt for a more creative theme and location. A country club, a restaurant, a backyard party, or a cruise are all possible venues for an engagement party.

As the hosts, the bride's parents will be responsible for covering the costs. These costs may include the venue, food and drinks, flowers and decorations, and a photographer.

When it comes to the guest list, it is important to remember that anyone invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. This is especially important if the bride's parents are hosting, as guests will likely assume they will be invited to the wedding. However, this tradition is no longer set in stone, and nowadays, many people throw small weddings or hold destination ceremonies, so the engagement party may include people who are not invited to the wedding.

If the bride's parents are hosting a traditional party, both families should definitely be invited, even if all members cannot attend. The couple might also choose to have multiple engagement parties, one for family and one for friends, or one for each set of parents if they live in different areas.

During the engagement party, the bride's father will usually propose a toast to the happy couple and their parents. The couple may also give a speech, thanking the guests and hosts for attending.

After the party, it is a nice gesture for the couple to send handwritten thank-you notes to the hosts and guests.

The couple may opt for multiple, more intimate engagement parties

If you are planning on having a small wedding or eloping, but still want to throw a big engagement party, you can do so, but it is important to let your guests know that the wedding will be intimate. This way, no one will be offended if they are not invited to the wedding.

If you are worried about how your friends will perceive your decision to have a big engagement party, you can include a note in the invitation stating that you are not expecting any gifts.

If you are having multiple engagement parties, it is important to note that guests should not be invited to more than one party (except for your closest family members, such as parents and siblings).

The guest list for the engagement party should be finalised before sending invites

When it comes to planning an engagement party, one of the most important things to remember is that the guest list should be finalised before sending out any invitations. This is because, traditionally, anyone who is invited to the engagement party should also be invited to the wedding. This is especially important if the couple or the couple's parents are hosting the engagement party.

While this tradition is no longer the only accepted approach, it is still considered proper etiquette to ensure that the guest lists for both events align. This means that the couple should give careful thought to their wedding guest list before planning their engagement party. It is also important to discuss the guest list with the hosts of the engagement party to ensure that everyone is in agreement.

If the couple is having a small wedding or a destination wedding, they may want to have a larger engagement party. In this case, it is advisable to let guests know that the wedding will be intimate to avoid any hurt feelings. Another option is to have multiple, smaller engagement parties with different groups of friends and family. This way, the couple can still celebrate with a wider group of people without having to invite everyone to the wedding.

It is also worth noting that the engagement party should take place within two to three months of the engagement, so the couple will need to finalise their guest list and send out invitations within this time frame. This will likely involve some careful planning and communication with the hosts to ensure that everyone is on the same page.

Engagement parties are usually informal, but can be formal

Engagement parties are usually informal, relaxed get-togethers, but they can be formal. The level of formality is entirely up to the couple. If you're thinking of throwing a formal engagement party, consider a restaurant or country club setting, and send out formal invitations.

For a more casual affair, emailed invitations are a good option, and a backyard or private residence is a suitable venue.

If you're unsure about the level of formality, consider the couple's preferences and style. A casual cookout or a favourite pub might be the perfect fit for a couple who prefer a laid-back setting. On the other hand, a couple who favour formal parties might opt for a black-tie engagement bash.

Remember, the engagement party is about celebrating the couple, so choose a setting and style that reflects their personality and creates a joyous atmosphere.

Frequently asked questions