Rsvp Etiquette: Responding To Wedding Invites

Planning a wedding is no easy task, and receiving a wedding invitation comes with the responsibility of responding promptly. It is important to be honest, courteous, and timely in your response. This paragraph will discuss the different ways to reply to a wedding invitation, whether it is formal or informal, and the key information to include in your reply.

Responding to a formal wedding invitation

Responding to a wedding invitation can be tricky, especially if it's a formal affair. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft the perfect response:

Promptness is Key:

The first rule of wedding invitation etiquette is to respond as promptly as possible. Wedding planning is stressful, and your timely response will help the happy couple finalise their guest list and make other necessary arrangements. Even if you're unsure about your attendance, it's best to let them know rather than delay your response.

Choose Your Response Method:

Nowadays, you can choose to respond online, by phone, or by mail. The invitation usually specifies the preferred method of RSVP. If it's not specified, you can check with the couple or their wedding planner. Formal invitations often call for a physical reply card or a handwritten note.

What to Include in Your Response:

Be sure to include the names of everyone in your party, and specify whether you are accepting or declining the invitation. If you're bringing a plus one, mention their name as well. Include your contact information, such as a phone number or email address, so the couple can reach you if needed. If you have any dietary restrictions or allergies, be sure to mention them, especially if you're invited to the wedding meal.

Sample Responses:

Formal Responses:

If you received a formal invitation, you can respond with a formal acceptance or regret. Here are some examples:

• "Ms. Mahoney and Mr. Jameson accept with pleasure the kind invitation of Mr. and Mrs. Andrews to the wedding reception of their daughter Johanna and Mr. Hannes Yuval on Sunday, March 17th at 2:00 pm."
• "Dear Sally and George, Harry and I are so excited to attend your wedding on June 3rd, 2022. Kind regards, Harry and Claire O'Kiely."
• "Mr. and Mrs. Harold McGowan accept with pleasure (or regret) your kind invitation for Saturday, the nineteenth of June."
• "Dear Katie and Richard, Tom and I are delighted to attend your wedding on May 21st, 2018.

Informal Responses:

If you have a close relationship with the couple, you can use an informal tone in your response:

• "Dear Mick and Katie, Georgina and I are so happy for you and can't wait to be a part of the festivities on July 4th, 2023. Best wishes, Sally and Georgina Oppenheim."
• "Dearest Alison and Andrew, we are so pleased to accept your kind invitation to the wedding on April 1st, 2023. We wish you every happiness and look forward to this special day. Yours sincerely, Tyler and Shana."

Declining an Invitation:

If you're unable to attend, it's important to be honest and polite in your response. You don't need to provide a detailed explanation. Here are some examples:

• "Dear Katie and Richard, Thank you kindly for your invitation. However, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to attend. We will be thinking of you and hope your special day will be everything you imagined.
• "Ms. Mary Mulligan and Mr. Jack Barrows regret that they cannot accept the kind invitation for Sunday, October 17th."
• "Dear Seamus and Otegha, Thank you so much for inviting us to your wedding. Unfortunately, we will not be able to join you on your special day. We will be thinking of you and wish you all the best. Best wishes, Lara Candle and David Ali."

Replying to an informal wedding invitation

When replying to an informal wedding invitation, it is important to respond promptly. Check your schedule and the details of the invitation, then confirm your attendance or regrets as soon as possible. This will allow the couple to make any necessary adjustments to their plans and guest list. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft an appropriate response:

• If the invitation includes an RSVP card, fill it out and send it back as soon as possible. Include your full name and, if applicable, the name of your plus one.
• If there is no RSVP card, you can respond in writing or by email, depending on how you received the invitation.
• For an informal response, keep your reply brief and sincere. You can add a touch of humour if you are comfortable with the couple and believe they would appreciate it.
• If you are accepting the invitation, express your delight and pleasure in attending the wedding. Mention that you are looking forward to sharing their special day.
• If you are unable to attend, offer your sincere regrets and a brief explanation. Let them know that they will be in your thoughts on their wedding day.
• It is also considerate to send a personal note or 'Telegram' to the couple or the venue before the wedding day if you cannot attend.
• Remember to respond for everyone included in the invitation. If you are invited with a plus one, decide if you want to bring someone and let the couple know.
• If you have any dietary restrictions or other relevant information, include this in your response so that the couple can accommodate your needs.
• Overall, your response should reflect your excitement and well wishes for the couple.

Acceptance:

"Mark and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday the eighteenth of August. We look forward to sharing in your special day."

Regret:

"We are so sorry we will be unable to attend your wedding. Unfortunately, we will be away on holiday. You will both be in our thoughts during your special day."

What to write in an RSVP card

The wording of your wedding RSVP cards should match the style of your wedding invitations. Here is some general advice on what to include on an RSVP card, followed by examples of formal and informal wording.

What to Include on an RSVP Card

• A clear deadline for your guests to respond by.
• A way of marking whether or not the guests will be attending.
• Space for guests to enter their names and the names of any plus-ones.
• Any dietary requirements or meal preferences.
• A special request line (e.g. for song requests or a favourite memory of the couple).

Formal Wording Examples

"The favour of a response is requested by [date]."

"Name(s) :__________________ ▢ joyfully accept(s) ▢ regretfully decline(s) ▢ number attending."

"Your reply is kindly requested before [date]

Name(s) :__________________ ▢ accept(s) ▢ decline(s)

Name(s) :__________________

Please RSVP no later than [date] ▢ will attend ▢ unable to attend"

"A favour of response is kindly requested before [date]

Name(s) :__________________ ▢ graciously accepts ▢ respectfully declines"

Informal Wording Examples

"Kindly reply before [date] Name(s):_________________ ▢ Can’t wait! ▢ Sorry, I wish I/we could be there!"

"Let us know before [date]

Name(s):_________________

▢ can’t wait to hit the dance floor ▢ will be toasting from afar

Name(s):_________________ Please watch us tie the knot. RSVP by [date]"

"Name(s) of our fabulous guests:_________________ Are you in? Please RSVP by [date] ▢ Yay ▢ Nay"

How to reply if you can't attend

If you can't attend a wedding, it's important to let the couple know promptly so that they can invite someone else in your place if they wish. Here are some tips on how to reply gracefully if you can't attend a wedding:

Think About Your Relationship With the Couple

If you are very close to the couple, it might be best to break the news over the phone or in person. This shows that you care about them and their special day. If you don't know them well, a written response or an RSVP card may be more appropriate.

Thank the Couple

Expressing gratitude for being invited is essential. Let them know that you appreciate being included in their celebration. This can be done in person, over the phone, or in writing.

Be Honest but Keep it Vague

It is generally advisable to be honest about your reasons for not attending. However, if you are not comfortable sharing the details, it is perfectly acceptable to keep your explanation vague. Simply mentioning "prior commitments" or "conflicting schedules" is often enough.

Use Appropriate Language

When declining a wedding invitation, it is important to use purposeful language that conveys your regret at not being able to attend. Sample phrases such as, "I regret to tell you that I won't be able to attend, but please accept my warmest congratulations," or "Regrettably, I won't be able to attend the wedding due to some conflicting commitments," strike a polite and respectful tone.

Send a Gift or Arrange an Alternative Celebration

Although not mandatory, sending a gift or arranging an alternative time to celebrate with the couple can be a thoughtful way to show your support. This could be in the form of flowers, a bottle of champagne, or a small gift. Alternatively, you could suggest meeting for drinks or dinner after the wedding to celebrate their newly married life.

Follow Up

Even if you don't know the couple well, a follow-up call, email, or text can be a nice touch. It shows that you are genuinely disappointed about your inability to attend and helps to diffuse any potential awkwardness.

Remember, it is important to respond promptly and to use a tone that aligns with the formality of the invitation. By following these guidelines, you can gracefully decline a wedding invitation while maintaining a positive relationship with the couple.

How to respond without an RSVP card

If you've received a wedding invitation without an RSVP card, the first thing to do is look closely at the invitation for details on how to respond. It's likely that the wedding hosts have chosen to take RSVPs online, or they may have included a phone number or email address for you to communicate your acceptance or regrets.

If the hosts have requested an online RSVP, type the URL provided on the invitation into your browser and follow the steps provided. The same rules of etiquette apply as with a paper response card.

If the hosts have requested an email RSVP, it's important to honour their request and follow directions. Respond by the deadline, and address your reply to the email provided on the invitation. It's likely that the couple has created a dedicated email address to make it easier to keep track of responses. Write a gracious note, expressing your excitement or regrets, and include your name, the number of people in your party, and any other information the couple has requested, such as a meal preference or song request.

If you need to decline an invitation, it's proper etiquette to respond via the host's preferred method with a "no" or "regrets". It's never okay to not respond at all. If you're particularly close with the couple, it can be a nice gesture to send a handwritten note or call them, in addition to expressing your regrets formally.

Frequently asked questions