Wedding Invitation Etiquette: Wishing Well Inclusion

Wedding gifts are traditionally given by guests to celebrate the newlyweds' new life together. However, in modern times, couples may already have the household items that are typically gifted, and may instead prefer to receive cash gifts to put towards their honeymoon, a house deposit, or other expenses. This can be a tricky request to make, and one solution is to set up a wedding wishing well, a box where guests can deposit envelopes containing cards and monetary gifts. But how do you let your guests know about this? Is it appropriate to include this information in your wedding invitations?

Wishing well wording ideas

Including a wishing well at your wedding is a great way to collect gifts and money from guests without making it seem like you are asking for money. It is a common way for couples to receive cash gifts, which are often preferred over physical gifts. However, asking for money can be uncomfortable, so here are some ideas for how to word your request politely and thoughtfully.

Simple Wishing Well Wording

Keep it simple and direct with these examples:

• "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you would like to contribute to our future together as a couple, a wishing well will be available at our reception."
• "Your gift of love and support is all we need on our special day. However, if you would like to give a gift, we will have a wishing well at our reception."
• "We are blessed to not only have each other, but the guests who will make our wedding day so special. We’d rather not receive gifts, but if you’d like to contribute to our wedding and our future together, we will have a wishing well at our reception to which you can contribute."

Playful Poems Wishing Well Wording

If you want to add a bit of fun and creativity to your request, try a playful poem:

• "Your love and laughter at our wedding is all we truly need. But a wishing well contribution will be warmly received."
• "Your presence at our wedding is present enough, so don't worry about gifts, we have plenty of stuff. However, if you were thinking of helping us on our way, some money towards our honeymoon would truly make our day."
• "We're simply so grateful for your presence here, to celebrate our love and cheer. As we begin our journey anew, we’ll cherish your friendship into our future, too. If you’d like to contribute to our wishing well, however, you’ll help us create memories tonight and forever."

Purposeful Wishing Well Wording

If you have a specific purpose for the money, such as saving for a new home or a honeymoon, you can mention this in your wording:

• "Your presence on our wedding day is the most special gift we could possibly ask for. However, if you do wish to bless us and contribute to our future together, we are saving for our new home. A wishing well will be present at our reception."
• "We’re thrilled that you’re able to make it to our wedding - that’s more than enough for us. However, if you would like to bring us something, spending money for our honeymoon would be most appreciated."
• "We are thrilled to celebrate our special day with all of our loved ones. And of all gifts you could bring, your presence is the most cherished. However, if you would like to contribute to our wedding costs, we will have a wishing well set up at our reception."

Formal Wishing Well Wording

For a more formal approach, you can express your gratitude and understanding that some guests may prefer to give a traditional gift:

• "While your presence on our wedding day is a cherished gift, we understand some guests like to offer more. In lieu of a traditional gift, we would be grateful for a monetary contribution towards our life together. If you would like to participate, you can leave your donation and well wishes in our wishing well, which will be available at our reception."
• "As we embark on this new chapter of our lives, we are grateful for the love and support of our family and friends. If you feel inclined to contribute to our wedding costs and the beginning of this next step in our lives together, we have set up a wishing well where you can leave your well wishes and support. No matter how big or small, your generosity is greatly appreciated."

Casual Wishing Well Wording

For a more casual and light-hearted approach, you can use wording such as:

• "No gifts are necessary - we just want to see you! If you do wish to give us a little something, a little cash to spend on our honeymoon (or our new home) would be very much appreciated."
• "We can't imagine our wedding day without having all our loved ones here to celebrate with us. We know some of you have come from far and wide, and we're so grateful for the effort you've taken. If you'd like to give a little something extra to help start our journey on the right foot, we've got a wishing well set up where you can drop your cash and loving messages. Thank you all for being a part of our day."

How to explain your wedding wishing well to guests

It is common for couples to set up a wedding wishing well to collect cash gifts from guests. However, asking for money can feel uncomfortable, so here are some ways to explain your wedding wishing well to your guests.

The invitation

It is appropriate to put your wishing well request on your printed invitation, but there are a few things to keep in mind. Include a separate note on or within your invitations to explain what a wishing well is and where it will be available. You could also include this information on your wedding website instead. Outline that you are accepting cash donations in lieu of formal gifts and lean into the 'well wishes' idea of a wishing well by encouraging guests to include kind notes and cards. It can also be helpful to share what you intend to put the cash donations towards, such as a honeymoon or a new home.

Wishing well signage

At your wedding venue, allocate a space for your wishing well and make it identifiable using a clear and nicely designed sign. Your wishing well signage doesn’t need to be complex or explain anything in detail, since your guests will have received more in-depth information along with their invitations.

Wishing well wording

There are many ways to word your gift preferences that are polite, friendly and not pushy. Here are some examples:

Simple: "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you would like to contribute to our future together as a couple, a wishing well will be available at our reception."

Playful: "Your love and laughter at our wedding is all we truly need. But a wishing well contribution will be warmly received."

Purposeful: "Your presence on our wedding day is the most special gift we could possibly ask for. However, if you do wish to bless us and contribute to our future together, we are saving for our new home. A wishing well will be present at our reception."

Formal: "While your presence on our wedding day is a cherished gift, we understand some guests like to offer more. In lieu of a traditional gift, we would be grateful for a monetary contribution towards our life together. If you would like to participate, you can leave your donation and well wishes in our wishing well, which will be available at our reception."

Casual: "No gifts are necessary - we just want to see you! If you do wish to give us a little something, a little cash to spend on our honeymoon (or our new home) would be very much appreciated."

Wedding wishing well etiquette

A wedding wishing well is a great way to collect cash, gift cards, or other small gifts from your guests. It is a more tactful way of asking for money instead of physical gifts. It is also a convenient and tidy way to accept money and cards from guests.

How to Introduce the Wishing Well

It is important to send out a 'note on gifts' along with your wedding invitations. This can be a separate piece of card included in the same envelope as the invites. On this card, you can express your gift preferences. For example, you can mention whether you welcome gifts, prefer spending money for your honeymoon, or would rather not receive any gifts. Here is a simple example:

> "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself. However, if you would like to contribute to our future together as a couple, a wishing well will be available at our reception."

Wishing Well Signage

At the wedding venue, allocate a space for your wishing well and make it easily identifiable with a clear and nicely designed sign. The signage doesn't need to be complex or include many details since your guests will have received more in-depth information along with their invitations.

Explain the Wishing Well in Your Invitation

It is acceptable to include a separate card in your invitation explaining the wishing well. You can use a cute poem or phrase to explain your request for money instead of gifts, ensuring it is clear and understandable for all guests. Here is an example:

> "Your presence on our wedding day is the most special gift we could ask for. However, if you wish to bless us and contribute to our future together, we are saving for our new home. A wishing well will be present at our reception."

It is important to note that you should always mention that traditional gifts are also welcome. Some guests may be more comfortable with this option, and as a gracious host, you should gratefully accept all gifts.

Tell Guests How You Will Use the Cash

Wedding guests may not feel comfortable with the idea of their money going towards the wedding itself. To avoid this concern, note on your wishing well card how you plan to use the cash. For example, you can mention that it is for your honeymoon, to save for a future purchase like a home, or for any other specific purpose you and your partner decide on. This way, guests know their contribution is going towards something meaningful for your future together.

Keep Close Friends and Family Informed

Inform your close friends and family members about the wishing well and how the money will be used. This way, they can answer any delicate questions that your guests may be too shy to ask directly.

Place the Wishing Well in a Quiet Corner

Avoid placing the wishing well in a prominent area at your reception. Instead, choose a quiet corner with less foot traffic. This will make guests who bring loose cash feel more comfortable. You may also want to leave blank envelopes near the well for guests to use.

Show Guests Where the Money Went

After the wedding, keep your guests updated on how you spent the money they contributed. For example, send them photos or tag them on social media if you used the funds for your honeymoon or a bespoke art piece. If the money went towards a house deposit, include them in photos of you with a "SOLD" sign or invite them to a small housewarming gathering.

Tell your guests how you will use the cash

It is important to be transparent with your guests about how you plan to use the cash gifts they give you. This will help them feel more connected to you and your plans. Here are some ideas for how to word this:

Be specific about your goals

Let your guests know about any big projects you have coming up, such as renovating your home, moving, or saving for a new home. You could also mention if you're planning a honeymoon and would like their contributions to go towards that.

Share your story

Adding a personal touch to your request by sharing the story of how the project got started, how far along you are, and any challenges you've faced along the way will help your guests feel more involved.

Outline your registry

Your wedding website is a great place to outline your plans for the cash. Many wedding website platforms and registries will give you the option to add a cash fund, honeymoon fund, or specific gift cards to your registry.

> "Your presence at our wedding is enough of a gift, but should you wish to buy us something, we'd greatly appreciate a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."

> "Thank you for being a part of our special day. If you feel inclined to give us a wedding gift, a contribution towards our [insert cash fund] would greatly help us start newlywed life off right."

> "The most important thing to us is that you're able to come and celebrate our wedding. However, if you wish to give a gift, we would graciously accept a contribution towards our [insert cash fund]."

Spread the word through family and friends

Make sure your close circle knows that you'd prefer cash and why. That way, if guests ask them for gift ideas, they can suggest contributing to your savings fund.

Benefits of a wedding wishing well

Wedding wishing wells are becoming an increasingly popular option for couples. They are a modern approach to wedding gifting, where guests can contribute monetary gifts to the couple's future together. Here are some benefits of having a wedding wishing well:

• Cost-effective option for guests: A wishing well allows guests to give as much or as little as they can afford, removing the pressure to spend a certain amount on a gift. It is a discreet and convenient way for guests to contribute.
• Alleviates decision fatigue: Guests no longer have to go through the confusion and guesswork of deciding on a gift, especially if they don't know the couple very well.
• Flexible usage of funds: With the money collected through the wishing well, couples can choose to fund their honeymoon, cover wedding expenses, or even save up for a down payment on their first home together.
• Convenience for the couple: Instead of setting up a formal gift registry, the wishing well provides a designated location for guests to leave their monetary gifts and well wishes. It is a fun and tactful way to collect money without making it feel like a direct request for cash.
• Customisation: Wishing wells can be customised to fit the wedding theme and decorations. They can be purchased from specialty suppliers or custom-designed to suit the couple's preferences.
• Guest comfort: Some guests may prefer giving cash instead of physical gifts, especially if the couple already has many of the traditional household items. The wishing well provides a convenient way for guests to contribute without feeling uncomfortable.

Frequently asked questions