Wedding Gifts: Obligation Or Choice?

Wedding gifts are not mandatory, but they are still appreciated and expected, especially if you are close to the couple. If you are attending a wedding, it is polite to bring a gift, but the amount you spend is flexible. If you are not attending a wedding, it is generally not necessary to send a gift, particularly if you are a distant relative or a coworker. However, if you are close to the couple, you may still want to send a gift, even if you can't attend.

It's not mandatory to give a gift, but it is expected

It is not mandatory to give a gift when invited to a wedding, but it is customary and expected, especially if you are close to the couple. Wedding gifts are a way to celebrate the couple's union and show them how much you care.

If you are attending the wedding, it is generally considered polite to bring a gift. However, if you are unable to attend, traditional wedding etiquette states that you are not obligated to send a gift. It is a kind gesture to do so anyway, especially if the couple is a family member or close friend. It is also acceptable to send a congratulatory card or convey your well-wishes in person or over the phone.

When deciding whether or not to give a gift, consider your relationship with the couple and your financial situation. If you are attending, spend what you can based on your budget and always send a note wishing them well. If you are not attending, it is still thoughtful to send a gift, but it is not expected, especially if you are a distant acquaintance or have financial constraints.

When choosing a gift, the couple's wedding registry is a valuable resource. It provides a curated list of items at various price points, ensuring you find something suitable within your budget that you know the couple will appreciate. If you are unable to attend the wedding, you can also refer to their wedding website for gift ideas or opt for a more personalized gift that reflects their interests.

While there is no set amount, wedding gifts typically range from $25 to $50 for colleagues or distant acquaintances, $50 to $150 for cousins, friends, or coworkers, and $150 to $250 for close friends and immediate family members. These amounts can be adjusted based on your budget and relationship with the couple.

In summary, while it is not mandatory to give a gift when invited to a wedding, it is customary and expected, especially for those close to the couple. Consider your relationship and budget when deciding, and refer to the couple's registry or website for gift ideas.

Spend what you can comfortably afford

When it comes to wedding gift-giving, there is no "one-size-fits-all" approach. The amount you spend on a wedding gift should be dictated by what you can comfortably afford. While it is not mandatory to give a gift when invited to a wedding, it is a thoughtful way to celebrate the couple's union, especially if they are close friends or family.

There are a few factors to consider when determining how much to spend. Firstly, your relationship with the couple is key. If they are dear friends or close family, you might want to spend more than you would on a distant acquaintance or coworker. For example, spending $200 per person is appropriate for those very close to the couple, while $25-$50 is suitable for colleagues or distant acquaintances.

Secondly, your budget is a crucial factor. Wedding gift-giving should not cause financial strain, so only spend what you can comfortably afford. This amount will vary for each person, and it is essential to be mindful of your own financial situation. If you are part of the wedding party, for instance, you may have already spent a significant amount on attire and other expenses, so it is perfectly acceptable to lower your budget for the gift.

Additionally, consider the couple's wedding registry. They may have a range of gift options at different price points, allowing you to choose something that aligns with your budget. If you are unable to attend the wedding, you can still refer to the registry for gift ideas, and it is generally a good idea to send the gift before the wedding day.

In summary, when deciding on a wedding gift, consider your relationship with the couple, your budget, and their wedding registry. Spend what you can comfortably afford, and remember that a thoughtful gift, regardless of its price, will be appreciated by the happy couple.

Cash is acceptable

If you're wondering whether it's okay to give cash as a wedding gift, rest assured that it is. In fact, it's becoming increasingly common for couples to register for cash funds and gift cards in addition to traditional wedding presents. Newlywed life is expensive, and cash gifts can help couples save for a house, adopt a pet, or go on their dream honeymoon.

When deciding how much money to give as a wedding gift, consider your relationship to the couple. If you're giving cash, the amount you give will depend on how close you are to the couple, how formal the wedding is, and whether you're standing up in the wedding.

• If you are a distant relative, colleague, or non-close friend, a gift of $50 to $100 is generally considered appropriate.
• For a closer friend or family member, you may want to consider giving $75 to $200.
• If you are a close relative, a starting amount of $150 and upwards is a great option.
• If you are in the wedding party, it is still a nice gesture to give a gift to the couple, so consider starting at the $100 mark and going upwards.
• Take into account other expenses, such as what you've spent on your attire, bachelorette or bridal shower gifts, and travel costs.
• On average, most wedding guests give a gift of around $150 to $160.

It's important to remember that you should give what you can comfortably afford and that your gift should reflect your relationship with the couple. You don't want to give more than you can afford just because of expectations.

When giving a cash gift, it's best to put the money inside a card and include a handwritten, thoughtful message. This way, the couple knows who the gift is from, and you can ensure your gift is safely received and not lost.

Whether you attend the wedding or not, giving a cash gift is a thoughtful way to celebrate the couple's special day and help them start their new life together.

Use the couple's wedding registry

While it is not mandatory to give a gift when invited to a wedding, it is still appreciated and expected, especially if you are close to the couple. If you do decide to give a gift, it is important to use the couple's wedding registry to find something they will like and can use. Here are some tips for using the couple's wedding registry:

• Check their wedding website: The couple's website will not only have information about the dress code, transportation, and other relevant details, but it may also include extra information about their registry picks. Some couples even share their love story on their website, which can help spark gift ideas.
• Browse the registry early: The couple's registry will have a variety of gift options at different price ranges. By checking the registry early, you can find something that fits your budget and that you know the couple will love.
• Consider a group gift: If the couple has registered for a big-ticket item, consider joining with other guests to purchase it together. This can be a generous gesture, and it may also save you some money. Just be sure that everyone who contributes signs their name on the wedding card so the couple knows who to thank.
• Don't be afraid to go off-registry: While it is generally recommended to stick to the registry, it is not mandatory. If you know the couple well and are familiar with their tastes, feel free to pick out something unique for them. Just make sure it is something meaningful and that they will value.
• Send the gift promptly: While guests technically have up to a year to send a wedding gift, it is best to send it promptly, preferably before the wedding day. This ensures that the gift arrives on time and shows that you are excited for the couple's big day.
• Use the registry for engagement and shower gifts: The couple's registry is not just for wedding gifts. You can also use it to find an engagement or wedding shower gift.

Gifts are not required if you're not attending

While wedding gifts are not mandatory, they are still appreciated and expected, especially if you are close to the couple. However, if you are not attending the wedding, it is generally not required to send a gift. The only expectation is to send your RSVP card back promptly.

Whether or not you send a gift will depend on your relationship with the couple and your financial means. If they are a family member or close friend, it is considered thoughtful to reciprocate the gesture of inviting you to their wedding with a gift. However, if they are a casual acquaintance, it is perfectly acceptable to forgo a gift, especially if you have financial constraints or unique circumstances that make it challenging. In such cases, conveying your regrets and well-wishes to the couple in person, over the phone, or through a card is a thoughtful alternative.

If you do decide to send a gift, it is recommended to check the couple's registry for ideas, just as you would if you were attending the wedding. This is especially helpful if you are shopping for a non-immediate family member or casual friend. You can also add a personalised message to your registry pick, such as a note expressing your sadness at not being able to attend their big day. If the couple is a close friend, you might want to elevate your gift by including a heartfelt card or, if feasible, hand-delivering it in person.

In terms of timing, traditional wedding gift etiquette suggests sending a gift within three months of the wedding or up to a year after the wedding date. However, sending the gift before the nuptials allows the couple to appreciate it during the excitement leading up to their special day.

Frequently asked questions