Composing A Wedding Remembrance: Honoring Loved Ones In Absentia

A wedding is an emotionally charged day, and it can be bittersweet if you're missing loved ones who have passed away. It's become common to include a memorial section in your wedding programme, with a heartfelt message about those who are no longer with you. This is a simple and meaningful way to share their memory with your guests. You could say something like: We lovingly remember our family members who are with us today in spirit. May the bouquet on the altar be a symbol of their presence. Or, We remember and hold dear our loved ones who are no longer with us. You could also include a memorial table with photos, candles, and a note of dedication to honour your loved ones.

Memorial photos and flowers

Wedding programs can be a beautiful way to honour and remember loved ones who have passed away. Here are some ideas for memorial photos and flowers to include in your wedding program:

Memorial Photos

• Bouquet charms: Attach a photo charm to your bridal bouquet. This is a subtle and elegant way to keep your loved ones close to your heart on your wedding day. You can include a photo of them inside an oval or heart-shaped locket, or even a photo of their handwritten message to you.
• Groom's boutonniere: A photo lapel pin or boutonniere charm with a photo of your loved one is a wonderful way for the groom to honour someone special.
• Ceremony chairs: Place a photo of your loved one on a ceremony chair to give them a "seat of honour". You could also attach old photos to the backs of chairs for guests to discover and smile at.
• Table display: Set up a memorial table with framed photos, candles, and a simple note of dedication. This provides a central place for guests to gather and share stories about your loved ones.
• Tree display: For a rustic wedding, attach old photos to a tree. This idea adds a meaningful touch to an outdoor setting.

Memorial Flowers

• Bouquet: Include family heirlooms or a rosary in the bride's bouquet as a way to honour a late family member.
• Altar flowers: Dedicate the flower arrangement on the altar to your loved ones, symbolising their presence at the ceremony.
• Unity candle table flowers: If you're having a unity candle ceremony, you can dedicate the flowers on the table to those who have passed away.
• Reserved chair: A reserved chair with a sign that says, "Reserved for those watching over us from heaven" can be a touching way to honour your loved ones. You can place flowers on the chair or nearby to complete the tribute.

These ideas can be customised to fit your wedding theme and personal preferences.

Using a family heirloom

A wedding is a time of joy and celebration, but it can also be a reminder of loved ones no longer with us. Honouring those who have passed away is a special way to feel their presence on your big day. Here are some ideas for using a family heirloom to remember them:

The Something Old

A wedding tradition is for the bride to wear "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue". You could incorporate a family heirloom as your "something old", carrying a memento with you or wearing it as part of your outfit. This could be a piece of jewellery, a handkerchief, or cufflinks, perhaps belonging to a grandparent or parent. You could also attach a small photo frame to your bouquet, with a picture of your loved one inside.

Heirloom Rings

A unique way to include a family heirloom is to use items of family gold, melting them down to create your wedding rings. This way, your loved one is symbolically with you as you exchange your vows, and every day as you wear your rings.

Heirloom Clothing

You could also incorporate a family heirloom by wearing or carrying an item of clothing. For example, one bride carried her father's silk handkerchief with her as she walked down the aisle. Another idea is to wear a piece of fabric that reminds you of your loved one, such as a heart-shaped patch from a parent's shirt.

Heirloom Accessories

Another idea is to use a family heirloom as an accessory. Etsy has a selection of miniature frames, lockets, or charms that can be attached to your bouquet or buttonhole. You could also use a family heirloom as a ring cushion, such as a Bible or a book passed down through the generations.

Heirloom Decorations

If you have a larger family heirloom, such as a desk or a chair, you could incorporate it into your wedding decor. For example, use a late relative's desk to display flowers and framed photos.

Memorial tables

A wedding is a joyous occasion, but it can also bring bittersweet emotions and thoughts of loved ones who are no longer with you. A memorial table is a special place to create a touching and meaningful memorial for those who cannot be there to share your special day. Here are some ideas for creating a beautiful memorial table to honour your loved ones:

Sentimental Wedding Memory Table Ideas

If you're looking for a subtle, understated memorial, try creating a candlelit area on a wooden barrel, then add your photographs. You could also create a simple memory tree using real or artificial branches and hang tags or labels from them. Alternatively, buy or create a frame, then string special photographs with twine and mini pegs.

Illuminated Memory Table Ideas

Create an illuminated memory table with fairy lights and even shaped lights. Add a sign and flowers so guests can pay their respects. Taking a glass lantern and adding words or a meaningful poem is another gorgeous way to commemorate your loved one.

Quotes and Words

Try finding a suitable quote or passage that resonates with you. Words can really mean so much, and if you find the right ones, they can make a special moment. Take inspiration from books or films for your memorial sign.

Memory Table Alternatives

If you feel a table isn’t the right fit, there are many other ways to remember a lost loved one. You could incorporate their favourite flower in your arrangements, add a photo locket or brooch to the bouquets, or reserve a seat for them at the ceremony. You could also add custom stickers to the soles of your shoes or have your portrait taken while holding their photograph.

Memorial Table Decorations

There are many beautiful decor items you could include on your memorial table. A special wooden or acrylic sign adds a contemporary look, while a quote sign or framed photographs are also touching additions. Candles are a popular choice for memorial tables, with many couples opting for personalised or memorial candles.

Sample Wording for Memorial Table Signage

• "In Loving Memory of Those Who Are Forever in Our Hearts"
• "We Know You Would Be Here Today If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away"
• "This Light Shines in Loving Memory of Those Watching from Heaven"
• "In Loving Memory of [Names] Whose Precious Gifts of Love and Influence Are Forever Etched in Our Hearts"
• "In Remembrance, We Fondly Remember Our Loved Ones Who Are No Longer with Us. We Are Saddened by Their Absence but Are Comforted in Knowing They Are Forever in Our Hearts and Memories"

Dedication in the wedding programme

A wedding is an emotionally charged event, and it can be challenging when there is an empty space at the table due to the loss of a loved one. Here are some ideas for a dedication in a wedding programme to honour those who have passed away:

Honoring the Memory of Loved Ones

We remember our loved ones who are not able to be here with us today. They are in our hearts and always will be. We are grateful for their guidance, love, and support, which have helped shape us into the people we are today. We know they are smiling down on us and will forever be a part of our lives and the love we share.

In Loving Memory

We lovingly remember our family members and friends who are no longer with us. We hold their memories close to our hearts, and we know their spirits are with us on this special day. We honour their presence in our lives and the impact they had on us. May the flowers on the unity candle table be a symbol of their love and light.

Remembering Those Who Are Gone

Today, as we celebrate our marriage, we remember those who have passed on. We carry them in our hearts, and they are with us in spirit. We honour their memory and the love they brought into our lives. We know they are watching over us, and we cherish their guidance and influence forever.

Dedication to Loved Ones

We dedicate this ceremony to our beloved family and friends who are no longer with us. Their absence is felt, but we find comfort in knowing they are forever a part of us. We are grateful for the precious memories and the love they left behind. May their light continue to shine within us and guide us on our journey together.

In Remembrance

On this joyous occasion, we fondly remember our loved ones who have passed away. While we are saddened by their absence, we find solace in knowing they are always with us in spirit. We honour their memory and the impact they had on our lives. We will forever carry their love, wisdom, and guidance in our hearts.

Remembrance candles

A wedding is a joyous occasion, but it can also be an emotional time when you remember those who have passed away and cannot be with you to celebrate. Remembrance candles are a beautiful way to honour and remember loved ones during your wedding ceremony and reception. Here are some ideas and suggestions for incorporating remembrance candles into your special day.

Choosing Your Remembrance Candle

There are many options available when it comes to choosing a remembrance candle for your wedding. You can opt for a simple, elegant taper candle or a personalised candle with the name and photo of your loved one. Some couples choose to have a candle holder engraved with a special message or verse. You can also find floating candles, flameless LED candles, or hurricane lanterns to surround the candle with flowers or other decorations. If you want to include a candle at your wedding but are unsure about having an open flame, you could consider purchasing an LED candle or using a hurricane lantern to minimise the risk.

Setting Up Your Remembrance Candle

You can set up your remembrance candle in a way that feels meaningful to you. Some couples choose to place the candle on a memorial table, along with photos and flowers, while others prefer to light the candle during the ceremony. If you decide to light the candle, you may want to have another candle already lit at the front of the ceremony so that you can use it to light the memorial candle. You can also include a line in your wedding program, such as, "Today, the couple keeps in their hearts those who are celebrating in spirit."

Wording Ideas

If you are unsure about what to say during the candle-lighting ceremony, here are some wording ideas:

• "Before we continue with the ceremony, [bride's name] and [groom's name] would like to take a moment to honour [name of loved one] who is in our hearts today and always."
• "We lovingly remember our family members who are with us today in spirit. May this candle be a symbol of their presence."
• "We remember and hold dear our loved ones who are no longer with us. [Names]."
• "Their journey has ended, but they live in our hearts."
• "This candle burns in memory of [name], 1948-2020."

Frequently asked questions