The Art Of Japanese Wedding Envelope Etiquette

In Japan, it is customary to give money as a gift on special occasions, especially weddings. This money is placed inside a special envelope called a shugi-bukuro (or goshugi envelope). The amount of money given depends on the relationship with the recipient and their social standing, but it is usually an odd number of new, crisp bills to symbolise the couple becoming one and a fresh start. The goshugi envelope has an inner envelope, where you write your name, address, and the amount of money, and an outer decorative envelope, often featuring mizuhiki, an ornate bow crafted from waxed cord. The envelope must be folded correctly, with the bow facing upwards, as folding it the other way indicates a condolence gift for a funeral.

Choosing the right envelope

First, it is important to note that the envelope should be purchased, as it is no longer common to make your own. You can find them at stationery stores, convenience stores, and even some supermarkets. They are typically decorated with a "mizuhiki", a ceremonial paper cord, in red and white or gold and silver. The "mizuhiki" is tied in a special knot called a "musubikiri", which is difficult to untie, symbolising a marriage that will never be broken. You may also find envelopes with symbols such as a turtle or a crane, which represent a long life in Japan.

When choosing the envelope, it is essential to consider the amount of money you plan to give. The envelope should be appropriate for the sum enclosed, and some envelopes even have a suggested amount. For weddings, it is customary to give an odd number that cannot be divided, such as ¥10,000 or ¥30,000, symbolising the unity of the couple. The amount should be written on the front of the inner envelope, with your address and name on the back.

Additionally, the colour and design of the envelope should be chosen carefully. Red and gold are typical colours for celebration, while black and white are used for condolences. You can also select an envelope with a "tanzaku", a strip of fancy paper, with congratulatory phrases such as "御結婚御祝" ("Congratulations on your wedding").

Finally, remember to handle the envelope with care. It is considered polite to cover the envelope with a cloth or handkerchief, especially a "fukusa", a traditional silk lapping cloth, to protect it from dirt and bending until it is presented to the receptionist at the wedding.

How much money to give

The amount of money given in a Japanese wedding envelope, or "shūgi-bukuro", depends on several factors, including your relationship to the couple, your age, social status, and the style of the venue. Here are some guidelines to help you determine how much money to give:

• For friends or colleagues, the standard amount is between ¥20,000 and ¥30,000. If you are in your 30s or 40s, you may consider giving up to ¥50,000.
• If you are a close friend or hold a senior position at the bride or groom's company, it is common to give between ¥30,000 and ¥50,000.
• For married couples attending the wedding, the common amount is ¥50,000, while unmarried couples typically give separate amounts of around ¥30,000 each.
• Relatives typically give between ¥50,000 and ¥100,000. If the bride or groom is your sibling, consider giving ¥100,000.
• If the bride or groom is your superior or boss at work, it is customary to give more than ¥30,000.
• The amount of money given should not be an even number, as it symbolizes division and is considered poor symbolism for a marriage. Odd numbers are preferred, as they cannot be divided. However, avoid amounts with leading digits of 4 or 9, as these numbers are associated with death and suffering, respectively, in Japanese culture.
• The amount of money given should also cover the "meal fee" and gifts for the guests. Therefore, it is common for family members to give more, followed by friends, and then coworkers.
• If you are attending a wedding in Hokkaido, the couple may request a set attendance fee from guests, which covers various costs such as food. In this case, you do not need to give additional money in the envelope.

The correct way to fold the envelope

The correct way to fold a Japanese wedding envelope, or shuugi bukuro, is as follows:

Firstly, place the money inside the inner envelope, ensuring that the face on the banknote is facing upwards. Write your name, address, and the amount of money included on the envelope. This envelope is then placed inside the outer envelope, which is beautifully decorated and features mizuhiki, an ornate bow crafted from a special kind of waxed cord.

When folding the envelope, ensure that the bow is facing upwards. Folding it the other way round is representative of a condolence gift at a funeral, so this is best avoided for a wedding! The upper part of the envelope should be folded in first, with the lower part facing up.

As a final touch, the envelope can be covered with a cloth called a fukusa to protect it until it is given to the happy couple at the wedding reception. A regular handkerchief can also be used for this.

The importance of new, clean banknotes

When attending a wedding in Japan, it is customary to give money as a gift. This money is placed inside a special envelope called a shugi-bukuro (or goshugi envelope). The amount of money given depends on your relationship with the couple, but it is important to give a new, clean banknote. Here are some guidelines on the importance of new, clean banknotes when giving a wedding gift in Japan:

It is considered important to give new, clean banknotes as a wedding gift in Japan. This is because the money is seen as a symbol of a fresh start for the newlywed couple. By giving crisp, new bills, you are wishing the couple a clean and prosperous beginning to their married life. Old or creased bills may be seen as inauspicious, suggesting that the couple's future together may be challenging or filled with obstacles.

Additionally, the number of bills given is typically odd, symbolizing the couple becoming one and the unbreakable union of their marriage. The amount of money should also be an odd number that cannot be easily divided, further emphasizing the idea of unity and the avoidance of separation.

It is also customary to avoid giving amounts that include the numbers four or nine. In Japanese, the number four is pronounced similarly to the word for "death," while "nine" means "suffering." Therefore, amounts such as 40,000 or 90,000 yen are considered taboo and may bring bad luck to the couple.

To ensure your gift is presented respectfully, it is recommended to ask your bank to exchange your money for new banknotes. This attention to detail will be appreciated by the couple and shows that you have taken the time to understand and follow Japanese wedding traditions.

When preparing the shugi-bukuro, the money is placed inside a small inner envelope, with your name, address, and the amount written on the back. This inner envelope is then placed inside a more ornate outer envelope, which is often decorated with mizuhiki, an ornate bow made from waxed cord. The outer envelope may also feature specific colours or knots to symbolize the occasion.

In conclusion, the importance of new, clean banknotes in a Japanese wedding gift cannot be overstated. By following these guidelines, you can ensure that your gift is not only financially generous but also symbolically meaningful, wishing the couple a fresh start, unity, and good fortune in their married life together.

The significance of odd numbers

In Japanese culture, odd numbers are considered lucky, while even numbers are generally avoided, especially in important customs and traditions such as weddings. This preference for odd numbers is deeply rooted in Japanese history and culture, and it is believed to bring good fortune and ward off negative omens.

When it comes to Japanese wedding envelopes, or "shugi-bukuro," the number of bills given must be an odd number. This odd number symbolism signifies that the newly married couple will remain together and not split up. It is believed that giving an even number of bills, which can be evenly divided, could bring bad luck to the couple and possibly lead to their separation.

The number four, which is divisible by two, is particularly avoided in Japanese culture as it is associated with death. In the Japanese language, the word for "four" ('shi') is pronounced similarly to the word for 'death' ('shinu'). As a result, the number four is often considered unlucky, and the Japanese may choose to avoid using it directly or indirectly. Similarly, the number nine is also not used in wedding contexts as it is associated with suffering.

On the other hand, odd numbers such as one, three, five, and seven are favoured in Japanese culture. This preference extends to various traditions and festivals, such as the Shichigosan Festival, which celebrates the growth of children of specific ages. By adhering to the significance of odd numbers in wedding customs, the Japanese believe they are bringing positive energy and blessings to the newlywed couple.

When preparing a "shugi-bukuro" for a Japanese wedding, it is essential to follow these numerical customs. The amount of money given should be in odd-numbered denominations, and the bills should be new and crisp, symbolizing the couple's fresh start in life together.

Frequently asked questions