Crafting The Best Man Speech: A Step-By-Step Guide

Being chosen as the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of the most important tasks is delivering a memorable speech that celebrates the groom, entertains the guests, and shows your support for the happy couple. This can be a daunting task, especially if you've never done it before, but there are several steps you can take to craft a great speech.

First, jot down all your thoughts, feelings and memories about the groom. Then, use a template as a guide to help you structure your speech. Make sure to include a unique opening and closing that leave a lasting impression. Share stories and anecdotes about the groom, and express what he means to you. Practice your speech as much as possible, and remember to connect with the audience when you deliver it. Keep your speech focused, add personal touches, and don't be afraid to show your enthusiasm.

Icebreakers and jokes

The best man's speech is one of the most memorable parts of a wedding. It is the perfect way to send your brother or friend your best wishes. However, it can be nerve-wracking to stand up in front of a crowd. A great speech is funny, heartfelt, and sincere. It should demonstrate how much you value your relationship with the groom.

Begin with a funny, complimentary, or inspirational introduction. You could start with a one-liner, a joke, a compliment, or a quote about brotherhood or marriage. For example:

> "I'd like to begin by congratulating the groom for his superb taste in choosing the best man [chuckle]."

Compliment the Wedding

Show respect to the guests by highlighting things you like about the wedding. For example, you can compliment the beauty of the venue, the delicious food, or the great choice of music.

> "All jokes aside, this is a beautiful wedding. The bride and groom look like a movie star couple together. And if you didn't taste the cake, you are missing out!"

Tell a Story

Share a short story about your relationship with the groom. A great story could be about how you met, one of your favourite memories with him, or how the groom met the bride. For example:

> "When I first met Jeff, he had just started a new job at my office in San Francisco. We met because of our mutual addiction to double-shot espressos (iced with a little cream) at 6 AM every morning from the corner coffee shop Bob's Cup O' Joe. When we both arrived at the office at the same time, three days in a row with eyes like this [widen eyes big], I knew we would be friends for life."

Admire the Couple

Express your support for their marriage and list a few things you admire about their bond. You may emphasise how the bride has positively impacted the groom's life or how they make a great team.

> "Jeff and Anne are a perfect pair, and it seriously warms my heart to see a couple so amazingly in love. They complement each other in every way and radiate joy when they are together."

Summarise Your Thoughts

Before you wrap up your speech, go back and highlight your key ideas. You can pre-write 2-3 crisp sentences summarising your support of the couple's marriage.

> "I wish I could say I predicted this day would come, but Jeff's incredible character and charm won Anne over. I am so grateful to be friends with both of them and to join you all in this celebration."

Toast to the Future

At the end of your speech, raise your glass for a toast to the couple's love.

> "Please join me in raising our glasses to a lifetime of happiness and espressos for Jeff and Anne Allison!"

Icebreakers

Icebreakers are a great way to demonstrate that you have been devoting time to your speech right up until the wedding day by including a joke based on a current news story. For example:

> "A recent study has revealed that 66% of people in Britain are addicted to puzzles - which means that two-thirds of you must be trying to work out what on earth Karen sees in Ted".

You can also draw inspiration from news stories about weddings:

> "I hope that Karen is getting used to now being called Mrs Karen Jones because I read an article this week about how a number of brides these days are reluctant to take the groom's surname. I know this certainly caused a bit of a stir at the recent wedding of my mate Dave Hitler".

Or, you could make a joke about public speaking:

> "Concert organisers recently pulled the plug on Bruce Springsteen's microphone after he had been performing for three hours. As a reluctant public speaker, I'm hoping the same thing will happen to me after three minutes".

You could also try wordplay:

> "I see that a bakery has been in the news for producing a Guinness-flavoured wedding cake. Sadly, we didn't have one of those today, so instead, you will just have to rely on this moving speech to supply some boozy 'tiers'."

When writing your icebreakers and jokes, remember to avoid talking about yourself or filling your speech with stories about being the best man. Instead, focus on the groom and keep your speech simple, with a logical progression from one piece to the next.

Introducing yourself

The best man speech is an important part of the wedding reception. It is your chance to celebrate the groom, entertain the guests, and show your support for the happy couple. It is also your opportunity to share your relationship with the groom and for other people to learn more about him.

The first step in introducing yourself is to share your name and explain your connection to the happy couple. You can also add a humorous tale about your first encounter with the groom. For instance, you can say:

> "Welcome everyone, my name is 'X' and I've known 'X' since we were kids. 'X' hates it when I take all the attention away from them, so as a mark of respect, please don't stand on the tables and chairs when you give me a standing ovation at the end of the speech."

> "Hello everyone, I'm 'X' and I've been best friends with 'X' for the past 15 years. For those of you that already know me – I apologise – for those that don't, don't listen to any of the rumours!"

You can also add a spontaneous joke about a humorous incident that occurred during the ceremony, or make a light-hearted comment about the venue, the attire, or the cake.

If you are feeling nervous about all the attention being on you, you can use some props to help weave your story. You could put together a slideshow of photos – maybe some from childhood, and some funny more recent shots, too. Or you can pick a theme – if the groom is known for always wearing the same jumper or shirt, get the photographic evidence out.

Tips for Introducing Yourself

• Keep it light and straightforward. There's no need to play a role or crack a series of jokes if that's not your style.
• Stay true to yourself and your normal way of acting.
• If you are known as the comedian among your friends, feel free to crack a series of jokes.
• If sentimentality is more your style, don't feel obligated to make your speech overly emotional.

Example of Introducing Yourself

> "I was of course deeply honoured to be chosen by Dan as his Best Man, until he pointed out no one else was available for the role".

Reading out messages

Prepare in Advance

It is important to prepare your speech in advance. Write down bullet points, jokes, quotes, etc. Practise your speech several times to help you feel more confident and sound more natural. You can also try improvising around some key points instead of memorising your speech word for word.

Keep it Short and Sweet

Try to keep your speech concise. The ideal length is around 3-5 minutes. This will help you avoid losing your audience's attention and ensure you don't take up too much time on the wedding day.

Use Notes

It is perfectly fine to use notes or cue cards when delivering your speech. This will help you stay on track and ensure you don't forget anything important. Practise with your notes ahead of time so you become familiar with them.

Express Gratitude

Begin your speech by thanking the people who made the wedding possible. This includes the couple's parents, the happy couple themselves, and the audience. You can also say something nice about the bride to create a warm atmosphere.

Introduce Yourself

Briefly explain who you are and how you know the groom. Many people at the wedding might not know you, so this will give them some context.

Tell a Story

Every great best man speech includes a story. It could be about how you met the groom, a funny incident you both experienced, or a realisation you had about your friend finding their soulmate. Just make sure to keep it appropriate and avoid sharing anything too embarrassing.

Include a Quote

You can add depth and humour to your speech by including a quote. It could be a famous quote, a movie line, or even something the groom himself has said. Just make sure it's relevant to the couple or the occasion.

Relate to the Couple

Remember, the wedding day is about celebrating the union of the bride and groom. Share stories or experiences that show how the couple complements each other, how they have grown together, and how they have impacted each other's lives.

Avoid Controversial Topics

Stay away from controversial topics such as politics, religion, or anything else that might be considered sensitive or offensive. You don't want to upset anyone with your speech.

Don't Embarrass the Groom

While it might be tempting to share embarrassing stories, remember that this is the groom's special day. Keep your speech celebratory and focus on his positive qualities.

Be Yourself

Finally, don't try to be someone you're not. Be yourself, speak from the heart, and let your natural mannerisms and voice shine through. This will make your speech sincere and authentic.

Storytelling and anecdotes

The storytelling section is the key part of your best man speech. It's your chance to share some amusing anecdotes and stories about the groom and give an overview of who they are as a person. If you know them from school, walk down memory lane with some childhood stories. Were there silly reasons they always ended up in detention? Did they used to stick up for you against the school bullies? Mix up fun stories with happy memories – this is not about humiliating them to get a laugh.

If you're feeling nervous about all the attention being on you, you can use some props to help weave your story. You could put together a slideshow of photos – maybe some from childhood, and some funny more recent shots, too. Or you can pick a theme – if they are known for always wearing the same jumper or shirt, get the photographic evidence out.

Do they always do the same pose in pictures? Show the guests! Another great prop idea is to write a humorous rhyme, or if you have the singing skills, a song or rap. You could even read a mock school report or CV, with funny and ridiculous achievements. Were they ridiculously proud of their Duke of Edinburgh award? Now's the time to discuss it!

When telling stories in your best man's speech, it's important to stay true to yourself. There's no need to play a role just because you're standing in front of an audience. For instance, if you're not known as the comedian among your friends, you shouldn't feel compelled to crack a series of jokes. Similarly, if sentimentality isn't your usual style, don't feel obligated to make your speech overly emotional. Keeping things light and straightforward is perfectly acceptable.

Your authenticity will resonate more genuinely with both the newlyweds and their guests, making your speech more impactful and memorable.

What to Include in Your Stories

• A little bit of embarrassment: Whether it's you, the groom, or a mutual friend, it helps to poke fun at someone in the story. If you fear being offensive, the best person to joke about is yourself.
• Audience member references: You can get major bonus points if you bring wedding guests into the storytelling moment. You might say, "Mom, you might want to close your ears on this one!" or, "Brian, we're talking about you!"
• Sensory details: What did the scenery look like? What were the prominent smells, sounds, and tastes at the moment? A great story should make the audience feel like they were with you. Don't forget to mention the frigid cold lake you jumped into or the outrageously spicy food that left you both panting and crying for water.
• A final punchline: Ideally, the best story ends with a shocking moment or funny line. It should leave the audience laughing, crying, surprised, or even gasping. For example, in an epic adventure story about you and the groom on a hunting trip, you may end with, "Just as the shark was about to bite the line, Joe reeled in the massive bluefin and yelled, 'I think we're gonna need a bigger boat!'"

How to Craft Your Stories

• Think about every story, anecdote or event that involves the groom. Search your memory bank as far back as possible, looking for anything that's humorous, interesting or endearing.
• Don't begin writing this into a speech yet – just get yourself a few sheets of paper and note down everything that comes to mind.
• When did you first meet? What was their nickname at school? What have they gotten into trouble for? What triumphs or tribulations have they faced? What ridiculous hobbies, interests or fashion trends have they followed?
• Remember, you're not just looking for the groom's negative traits. Note down any memorable moments that highlight their redeeming qualities, too. Are they someone who'll help a stranger? Are they the go-to person in a crisis? Are they unflappably optimistic? Are they a science whiz?
• Don't judge your ideas at this stage – if it comes to mind, jot it down.

Advice and compliments

Giving some heartfelt and friendly advice is a key part of your best man speech structure. There are so many ways of doing this. If you are married, you and your partner could come up with some golden rules for a happy marriage. If you’re not married, you could ask friends for their tips, or even ask the parents or grandparents of the couple for their sage advice. You could also present marriage tips and advice you’ve seen from famous couples on TV or in movies.

If you don’t want to give advice, you could also use this part of the speech to raise a toast to the other members of the wedding party, thanking them for everything they have done on the day and in the run-up to the wedding. Remember to thank the parents for their support of the couple, and then finally, raise the final glass and toast the couple.

This is a wonderful honour that has been given to you, and you can honour them in return with some kind words. Or use it as one last chance to get a laugh! Whatever you choose, check out these brilliant ideas for wedding toasts.

Frequently asked questions