Cousin As Best Man: A Unique Wedding Role

The best man is a pivotal role at a wedding, second only to the bride and groom. The best man is responsible for ensuring the rings are safe, organizing rehearsals, giving a speech, handling various administrative tasks, and providing toasts. Most importantly, the best man provides moral support to the groom. While the best man is often the groom's brother, it is also acceptable for the groom to choose his cousin. In fact, it is common in some cultures for cousins to marry.

Cousin marriage laws and taboos

Cousin marriage laws vary across the world, with some countries and cultures actively encouraging and expecting it, while others view it as incestuous and subject to social stigma and taboo.

In some jurisdictions, cousin marriage is prohibited and considered a criminal offense. For example, first-cousin marriage is banned in China, North Korea, South Korea, the Philippines, some jurisdictions in India, parts of the Balkans, and 30 out of 50 US states. In eight US states, cousin marriage is criminalized, the only jurisdictions in the world to do so.

In other societies, cousin marriage is neither encouraged nor condemned, though it is generally not considered the norm. For instance, in the US, cousin marriage is legal or largely legal in 18 states, but the practice is not widespread.

Historically, cousin marriage was practiced by indigenous cultures in Australia, North America, South America, and Polynesia. The prevalence of first-cousin marriage in Western countries has declined since the late 19th century and early 20th century. However, in the Middle East and South Asia, cousin marriage is still strongly favored.

Cousin marriage has been used to maintain cultural values, preserve family wealth, maintain geographic proximity, uphold traditions, strengthen family ties, and maintain a closer relationship between the wife and her in-laws. Many such marriages are arranged.

The laws governing cousin marriage differ based on the degree of consanguinity, with some countries prohibiting marriages between first or second cousins, while others extend the ban to third cousins or beyond.

The debate around cousin marriage often revolves around the potential health risks to offspring due to the increased likelihood of autosomal recessive genetic disorders. Children of first-cousin marriages have a 4-6% risk of such disorders compared to 3% for children of unrelated parents. However, recent studies have cast doubt on the significance of this risk.

The social and cultural acceptance of cousin marriage also plays a role in the ongoing debate. Some supporters view the prohibition as discrimination, while opponents appeal to moral or religious arguments.

Cousin marriage in different religions

Cousins can be best men at weddings, and it is common for cousins to be close friends. However, the question of cousin marriage is a more complex issue that varies across different religions and cultures. Here is an overview of cousin marriage in some major religions:

Islam

Cousin marriage is lawful in Islam, and it has been practised by Muslims since the time of Prophet Muhammad. The Quran does not prohibit marriages between first cousins, and it is considered a way to strengthen family bonds and keep wealth within the family. However, there are differing views among Muslim scholars and communities. Some schools of thought, like Shafi'i and Hanbali, consider it "Makruh" or disliked. Imam Shafi'i, the founder of the Shafi'i school of thought, warned against persistent generational bloodline marriages, stating that it could lead to a decrease in intelligence.

Christianity

In the Christian tradition, cousin marriage was historically permitted, and there are several examples in the Bible, including Isaac marrying his first cousin, Rebekah. However, the Catholic Church began prohibiting cousin marriages from the 9th century onwards, with varying degrees of prohibited kinship. Eventually, in the 12th century, the Fourth Lateran Council reduced the prohibition to marriages within the fourth degree of consanguinity. Today, the Catholic Church allows marriages beyond first cousins without a dispensation, while first-cousin marriages require one. Protestant churches, including Baptist, Pentecostal, Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Methodist, generally allow cousin marriage.

Hinduism

Hindu rules regarding cousin marriage vary across regions and communities in India. The Hindu Marriage Act prohibits cousin marriages within five generations on the father's side and three on the mother's side. However, cross-cousin marriages are allowed in certain communities, especially in South India, where it is considered a way to preserve wealth within the family. In North India, cousin marriage is generally considered incestuous and prohibited.

Judaism

In Judaism, cousin marriage is not prohibited. In fact, some rabbis even recommend that Jews marry their nieces. This is based on interpretations of the Talmud and the teachings of influential rabbis like Maimonides. Additionally, there are examples of cousin marriages in the Bible, such as the marriage of Zelophehad's daughters to their cousins.

Buddhism

Buddhist texts do not explicitly prohibit or endorse cousin marriage. Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha, married his first cousin, Yasodhara.

Zoroastrianism

Zoroastrianism allows cousin marriages.

While cousin marriage is a common practice in some religions and cultures, it is prohibited or discouraged in others. The decision to marry a cousin depends on personal, cultural, and religious factors, and it is essential to respect the beliefs and traditions of each community.

Cousin marriage in different countries

While a cousin can certainly be the best man at a wedding, the legality of cousin marriage varies across the world.

In the Middle East and South Asia, cousin marriage is historically and presently common. In Afghanistan, the rate of consanguineous marriages is 46.2%, with regional variations between 38.2% and 51.2%. In Iraq, it is estimated that 33% of marriages are between cousins. In Qatar, Yemen, and the UAE, the rates of cousin marriages are increasing. In the United Arab Emirates, cousin marriage rates have increased from 24% to between 54% and 70% in recent years.

In Pakistan, cousin marriage is legal and common, with an estimated rate of 66.4% in rural areas and 55% overall. In the United States, cousin marriage is banned in 17 states, while 19 states allow it and 7 have partial restrictions. In the United Kingdom, cousin marriage is legal, but there have been debates about potential government bans or public relations campaigns against the practice. In Sweden, cousin marriage is legal, but the government initiated an inquiry in 2023 to propose a law prohibiting it by October 2024. In Germany, cousin marriage is legal, but there have been discussions about potential bans. In the Netherlands, there has been a recent debate about banning cousin marriage, specifically aimed at preventing 'import marriages' from countries with high rates of cousin marriage, such as Morocco.

In China, cousin marriage has been banned since 1981, though it was historically common in rural areas. Taiwan and North Korea also prohibit cousin marriage. In Japan, cousin marriage is legal, but the incidence has been declining. In South Korea, marriage between cousins up to third cousins is banned, and marriages between those with the same surname and region of origin were prohibited until 1997.

In India, cousin marriage is complex and varies by region and culture. It is generally proscribed in North India and permitted in South India, with an overall prevalence of 9.87%. In the southern states of Tamil Nadu and Karnataka, the rates are 28% and 27%, respectively.

In Europe, the legality of cousin marriage varies by country and has changed over time. In the Catholic Church, cousin marriage was banned from the 6th to the 13th century, permitted from the 13th to the 16th century, banned again from the 16th to the 19th century, and allowed since the 19th century with restrictions up to second cousins. In the United Kingdom, cousin marriage is legal, but there have been debates about potential government bans or public relations campaigns against the practice. In Sweden, cousin marriage is legal, but the government initiated an inquiry in 2023 to propose a law prohibiting it by October 2024. In Germany, cousin marriage is legal, but there have been discussions about potential bans. In the Netherlands, there has been a recent debate about banning cousin marriage, specifically aimed at preventing 'import marriages' from countries with high rates of cousin marriage, such as Morocco.

Genetic risks of cousin marriage

While it is often considered taboo, cousin marriage is common in many parts of the world. In the US, however, it is illegal in many states. The objections are based on the risk of genetic problems in any offspring.

The genetic risks in question are related to something called unmasking. We each receive one copy of each gene from each of our parents. Thus, we inherit two versions of each gene (called alleles); one can be dominant and the other recessive. For a recessive gene to manifest in an individual, both copies of the gene must be the recessive allele. If an individual inherits only one recessive allele of the gene, they are considered a carrier who can pass on the potential for illness to their offspring. When an individual inherits two copies of a dangerous recessive allele, the gene is said to be unmasked and they will inherit the condition.

Each carrier has a 50% chance of passing on the dangerous allele to their child. Cousins share one set of grandparents. While the odds of either grandparent being a carrier of a rare allele are low, if one grandparent is a carrier, then there is a 50% chance that each of their children (the cousins' parents) are also carriers. So the risk of a child inheriting two copies of a dangerous allele is elevated compared to non-related marriages since they have a greater chance of inheriting the same recessive allele from their common ancestors.

According to a 2005 study by Owen Dyer, marriage between first cousins roughly doubles the rate of unmasking compared to non-relative marriages (~6% instead of ~3%). Nevertheless, British authorities determined that despite the increased risk, most children of cousin marriage are healthy.

Doctors do recommend genetic counselling for prospective first cousin parents.

Cousin marriage in the past

Cousin marriage has been common throughout history, with estimates suggesting that as many as 80% of marriages across human history have been between first or second cousins. Before the Industrial Revolution in the United States, Canada, and Europe, it was common to marry a fourth cousin as people tended not to travel far to find a spouse.

However, in the mid-19th century, cousin marriage began to fall out of fashion in the Western world. By the 1860s, several US states had banned first-cousin marriage, including Kansas (1858), Ohio, NH, NV, ND, SD, WA, and WY. This trend continued into the 1920s, and as recently as 2005, Texas banned cousin marriage. Today, first cousins may not marry in 26 US states.

The shift in attitudes towards cousin marriage in the US may be partly explained by the fact that the practice was associated with immigrants and the rural poor, rather than the aristocracy and upper middle class. In Europe, cousin marriage was also practised by members of the aristocracy, such as Queen Victoria and Charles Darwin, who married their cousins.

While cousin marriage is no longer widely accepted in modern Western society, it is still common in other parts of the world, with an estimated 10% of all marriages globally being between cousins. In some societies, cousin marriage is traditional and well-accepted, although there may be distinctions made between "cross-cousins" and "parallel cousins". Cross-cousins have parents who are siblings but of the opposite sex, while the parents of parallel cousins are siblings of the same sex.

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