Best Man's Guide: Duties And Responsibilities

Being the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it's not a responsibility to be taken lightly. The groom has chosen you as his right-hand man, so it's your job to be his go-to for help and support throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day itself. From planning the bachelor party to making sure the groom gets to the venue on time, the best man has a lot of duties to juggle. But don't worry, we're here to give you a full breakdown of everything you need to know to ace your best man duties and be the groom's hero.

Organise the bachelor party

Organising the bachelor party is one of the best man's most important duties. Here are some tips for how to do it:

Planning

The first step is to discuss plans with the groom. It's important to know what kind of celebration the groom wants, whether that's a rowdy weekend in Las Vegas or a low-key camping trip. The best man should also consult the groom on the guest list, the budget, and the itinerary.

Budgeting

The best man should work with the groomsmen to establish a realistic budget that covers flights, hotel rooms, rental cars, dining, alcohol, and other costs. It's important to ensure that the event is affordable for all guests.

Timing

The bachelor party usually takes place one to three months before the wedding. It can be held on a holiday weekend, such as Labor Day, but it's best to avoid big holidays that might cause guests to be unavailable.

Location

The location of the bachelor party will depend on the budget and the groom's preferences. Options range from a local night out to a weekend in a destination like Las Vegas or Austin, Texas.

Invitations

While paper invitations aren't necessary, it's a good idea to send out invitations early, as soon as the date and guest list have been confirmed.

Activities

In addition to leisure activities like pool time, it's a good idea to plan at least one physical activity to get the group engaged and their blood flowing. Depending on the location, activities could include chartering a boat, attending a sporting event, or going bowling.

Food and Drink

The most important meal is a high-end steak dinner with cocktails. For other meals, it's possible to save money by making your own drinks and meals or having a fun make-your-own meal with groceries.

Strip Clubs

Contrary to media references, not all bachelor parties include strippers. It's important to consult the groom and guests to see if adult entertainment is expected.

Gifts

Gifts are not required, but some attendees might bring small tokens like alcohol, cigars, sports equipment, or party games.

Be the groom's confidant

Being the groom's confidant is one of the most important duties of a best man. Wedding planning can be stressful, and the best man should be there to listen and support the groom through all his emotions, good or bad.

As the groom's right-hand man, the best man should be his go-to person for help and emotional support. This means being a supportive friend and helping the groom make decisions and solve problems throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day.

The best man should also be mindful of the groom's needs on the wedding day. This includes making sure he eats, stays hydrated, and has everything he needs. The best man can also offer to take on tasks or communicate with the wedding planner to ensure the groom can relax and enjoy his day.

In the lead-up to the wedding, the best man can provide moral support during the ring selection and help the groom shop for his wedding attire and choose colours for the groomsmen. He can also assist with other pre-wedding details, such as arranging accommodations for out-of-town groomsmen and helping the groom pack for the honeymoon.

The best man should also be prepared to lend a sympathetic ear if the groom has any pre-wedding jitters. It's not uncommon for the best man to ask the groom if he's sure about getting married, offering him a way out if he has any last-minute doubts.

Plan the groom's attire

As the best man, you'll be the groom's right-hand man and go-to person for help throughout the wedding planning process and on the big day. One of your main duties will be to help the groom and groomsmen choose their outfits and ensure they are ordered and received on time. Here's a detailed breakdown of your responsibilities:

Before the Wedding

As the best man, you'll be the point of contact for everyone on the groom's side, including the groomsmen and family members. It's your responsibility to introduce the groomsmen to each other and to the groom if they don't already know each other. Set up a time to grab a drink together or start an email chain or group chat if they live far away.

Assist with Outfit Details

You'll be in charge of supporting the groom and groomsmen with all their wedding day attire needs. This includes helping with final suit selections and ensuring that everyone orders their attire in a timely fashion. Communicate the groom's wishes on attire choices, such as the style of suit or tie colour, and send each groomsman's measurements to the shop or tailor. Don't forget about alterations! Ensure that the groomsmen's suits are tailored and received on time.

Create an Emergency Kit

In the lead up to the wedding, it's a good idea to put together an emergency kit that could come in handy on the wedding day. This might include essential toiletries, a stain remover, sewing kit, bandages, pain relievers, and an extra pair of socks and tie.

Provide Emotional Support

One of your most important tasks is to provide emotional support to the groom throughout the wedding planning process. Listen patiently to his complaints, confessions, and questions without judgment and reassure him that everything will be okay.

On the Wedding Day

On the wedding day, you'll continue to be the groom's personal aide and adviser.

Help the Groom Get Ready

On the morning of the wedding, ensure that the groom and groomsmen are ready on time. Play music, offer drinks, and create a relaxed and upbeat atmosphere, especially if the groom is feeling nervous.

Keep Everyone on Schedule

Keep an eye on the clock and ensure that everyone arrives at the venue on time. Help wrangle the groomsmen throughout the day and ensure they are where they need to be when they need to be.

Hold the Wedding Rings

You may be entrusted with holding onto the wedding rings for safekeeping before and during the ceremony. Keep them in a safe place, like your inner jacket pocket, and be aware of where they are at all times.

Stand Next to the Groom

During the ceremony, you'll usually stand next to the groom, displaying your love and support. After the ceremony, you'll likely be paired with the maid of honour during the recessional.

Sign the Marriage License

Be present for the signing of the marriage license and sign it as a witness, along with the maid of honour.

Pose for Pictures

Be prepared to smile for the camera! Whether the couple takes wedding party portraits before or after the ceremony, your cooperation is essential.

After the Wedding

Your responsibilities don't end once the wedding is over. Here are some final tasks you may be required to do:

Safe-Keep Gifts

Collect the wedding gifts and keep them in a safe location until the couple returns from their honeymoon.

Return Rented Attire

If you coordinated a group tuxedo rental, ensure that all the tuxes are returned on time and in good condition.

Check-In with Vendors

Make sure all wedding-related expenses are handled and that any outstanding payments are settled before the couple leaves for their honeymoon.

Decorate the Getaway Car

Help coordinate car transportation for the newlyweds and decorate their getaway car with the rest of the wedding party.

Act as a witness

Acting as a witness is a crucial duty of the best man. The best man is usually one of the two witnesses required to sign the marriage license, along with the maid of honour. This duty is an important one, as without the signatures of the witnesses, the couple is not legally married. The best man should ensure he is in the right place at the right time for this task, which may take place before or after the ceremony.

The best man should also be present when the couple signs the marriage certificate, which usually happens during the ceremony. This is another important duty, as the certificate is a legal document that confirms the marriage.

In addition to signing the marriage license, the best man may also be asked to sign other documents, such as the marriage certificate, as a witness. This is to ensure that the marriage is legally recognised and valid.

The best man's role as a witness is an important and honoured tradition that symbolises the trust and support he has for the groom. It is a key part of the wedding process and should not be taken lightly. The best man should be organised and prepared to ensure that he fulfils his duty as a witness effectively and efficiently.

Give a speech

Giving a speech is one of the most important duties of the best man. It is often the best man's most nerve-wracking task, but it can also be the most memorable and enjoyable. Here are some tips to help you deliver a great best man speech:

Preparation is Key

Giving a speech can be a daunting task, especially if you are not used to public speaking. The key to a successful speech is preparation. Start by outlining your main points and stories you want to share. Practice your speech several times before the wedding, preferably in front of a small audience, such as close friends or family members. They can give you honest feedback and help you refine your speech. Practising will also help you feel more comfortable and confident when delivering the speech.

Keep it Appropriate and Light-hearted

When writing your speech, it is important to keep in mind the tone and content. The speech should be fun, light-hearted, and appropriate for all guests, including children and older family members. Avoid inside jokes that only a few people will understand, and steer clear of offensive or embarrassing stories about the groom. Remember, the goal is to celebrate the groom and his new spouse, not to embarrass them.

Share Stories and Anecdotes

The best man's speech is a great opportunity to share stories and anecdotes about the groom. Share a positive story or a funny anecdote that showcases the groom's personality and sense of humour. It is also a nice touch to include a story about the couple and how well-suited they are for each other. This will not only honour the groom but also make the bride feel special and welcomed into the family.

Keep it Concise

While you want to include meaningful content in your speech, it is important to keep it concise. A good length for a best man's speech is around 1-2 minutes. Guests will appreciate a speech that is to the point and doesn't ramble on. Focus on sharing a few meaningful stories or messages, and avoid trying to cover too much ground.

Offer a Toast

Traditionally, the best man's speech includes a toast to the newlyweds. After sharing your stories and well-wishes, ask the guests to raise their glasses to honour the couple. This is a heartfelt way to conclude your speech and transition into the celebration.

Enjoy the Moment

Finally, remember to relax and enjoy the moment. Being asked to be a best man is an honour, and your speech is a chance to celebrate your friend's special day. Even if you are feeling nervous, try to embrace the experience and have fun with it. Your speech will be well-received as long as it comes from the heart.

Frequently asked questions