Wording Wedding Invites For Gifts: Cash And Cards

There are many reasons why couples may prefer cash or gift cards as wedding presents instead of physical gifts. They might already have household items that were once popular wedding gifts, or they might be saving up for a big purchase like a house or a honeymoon. However, asking for money instead of physical gifts can be a delicate matter. While some people believe that it is rude to specify what gifts you want, others think that it is only fair for couples to be able to provide polite guidance on suitable gifts.

There are several ways to ask for cash or gift cards as wedding presents tactfully.

Asking for money on wedding invites

Asking for money as a wedding gift can be a tricky situation to navigate. While it may be uncomfortable to ask for money, it is not a wedding etiquette faux pas to do so. In fact, it is quite common for couples to prefer cash gifts. Here are some instructive tips to help you ask for money on your wedding invites:

Do Not Ask for Money on the Wedding Invitation

The wedding invitation itself is not the place to request monetary gifts. This can come across as presumptuous and may leave your guests feeling uncomfortable. It is important to communicate your wishes in a thoughtful and polite manner. Instead, include an insert card within your invitation suite with the address of your wedding website, where guests can find more details about your preferences.

Create a Wedding Website

A wedding website is an ideal place to mention your preference for monetary gifts. Include a section on your website dedicated to gifts, where you can express your wishes. You can add a simple message such as, "We'd be over the moon if you'd consider giving money instead of gifts," followed by what you plan to spend the money on. This approach allows you to communicate your preferences without being too direct.

Spread the Word Through Close Friends and Family

Another effective way to get your message across is to inform your inner circle, including your bridal party and close friends and family members. They can then casually spread the word to other guests and help field any questions. This way, you can focus on other aspects of your wedding planning while ensuring your preferences are known.

Be Specific About How You'll Use the Money

It is important to share your plans for the monetary gifts. Whether you are saving for a honeymoon, a new home, or another special project, let your guests know. This adds a personal touch and helps them feel more connected to your plans. You can include this information on your wedding website or even in a lighthearted poem within the invitation.

Set Up a Honeymoon/House Deposit/Home Improvement Fund

Consider using a gift registry service that offers the option to set up a gifting fund. This allows guests to contribute directly to a specific goal, such as a honeymoon or a house deposit. In some cases, you may need to register for a few physical gifts as well, but this option provides a clear signal to your guests about your preferences.

Sample Phrases for Your Invitations or Website

• "Your presence at our wedding is the greatest gift of all. However, if you wish to honour us with a gift, a cash gift would be very welcome."
• "We are extremely lucky to have love, laughter, and a house full of furniture. So, if you'd like to help us celebrate with a gift, we've set up a honeymoon fund at (details here)."
• "Cash gifts are welcome but not expected, and will be put towards our honeymoon."
• "Your presence at our wedding is gift enough, but should you wish to give a gift as well, a cash contribution towards our future adventures would be greatly appreciated."

Remember, it is essential to maintain a respectful and gracious tone when asking for money on your wedding invites. Be mindful of your guests' feelings and preferences, and always express your gratitude for their presence and generosity.

Using a wedding website to ask for money

It is considered acceptable to ask for money as a wedding gift, but it's important to do so in a polite and tactful way. Here are some tips for using your wedding website to communicate your preference for monetary gifts:

• Be Gracious in Your Wording: When creating your wedding website, it's essential to choose your words carefully. Avoid demanding or expecting money as a gift. Instead, use phrases like "Your presence at our wedding is a gift in itself, but if you wish to give us something, we would graciously accept a monetary contribution towards our [insert fund details]." This approach acknowledges the guest's attendance as the most important gift and presents the monetary gift as an optional extra.
• Explain How You'll Use the Money: Adding a brief note about your plans for the money can make guests feel more connected to you and your goals. For example, you could say, "We are saving up for a down payment on our first home together, so monetary gifts would be greatly appreciated and help us build our future." This provides context and shows that you have a specific goal in mind.
• Include a Poem or Lighthearted Verse: Consider adding a creative touch to your website by including a wedding money poem or a playful rhyme. This approach can make your request more charming and less direct. There are many online resources with poem ideas that you can adapt to your style and tone.
• Provide a Link to a Honeymoon or Cash Registry: Instead of directly asking for money, you can include a link to a honeymoon registry or a cash registry website, such as Honeyfund, My Registry, or Our Wishing Well. These sites allow you to create a registry for various purposes, such as funding your honeymoon, home renovations, or even donating to a charity you support.
• Combine with Word-of-Mouth: While your wedding website is a great platform to communicate your preferences, combining it with word-of-mouth can be even more effective. Inform your close family members and wedding party about your preference for monetary gifts, and they can tactfully spread the word when guests inquire about gift ideas.
• Create a Small Traditional Registry: Although your primary preference is monetary gifts, it's advisable to create a small traditional registry as well. This is because some guests may still prefer to give physical gifts, and a registry will make it easier for them to choose something you truly want or need.

Remember, the key is to be thoughtful, gracious, and flexible in your approach. By combining your wedding website with other communication channels and considering your guests' preferences, you can effectively convey your wishes for monetary gifts.

Using friends and family to spread the word

Be Clear About Your Reasons

Explain to your family and friends that you would prefer cash gifts and why. For example, you may be saving for a new home, planning a honeymoon, or funding future adventures. This way, when guests ask your family and friends about gift ideas, they can provide a thoughtful response and suggest that guests contribute to your savings fund.

Provide a Tactful Script

It's important that your family and friends communicate your wishes in a polite and considerate manner. Provide them with a script or talking points to ensure that your message is conveyed gracefully. For example, they could say, "The couple is saving for their dream honeymoon, so they would greatly appreciate any contributions toward that goal."

Share Your Wedding Website

Your wedding website is a great tool for communicating your preferences. Include a section on your website dedicated to gifts, where you can explain your preference for monetary gifts and how you plan to use the money. Share the link to your website with your family and friends, so they can easily direct guests to this information.

Use a Honeymoon/House Deposit Fund

Consider setting up a honeymoon or house deposit fund with a gift registry service. This provides a tangible way for guests to contribute financially toward your goals. Share the details of this fund with your family and friends, so they can spread the word and provide guests with specific information about how to give.

Avoid Being Too Direct

While it's important to communicate your preferences, avoid being too direct or demanding. Asking for money can be a sensitive topic, and some guests may prefer to give physical gifts. Emphasize to your family and friends that guests' presence at your wedding is the most important gift, and any monetary contributions are simply an additional way to show their support.

Provide Alternative Options

Although you prefer cash or gift cards, recognize that some guests may still want to give physical gifts. Provide alternative options, such as a small traditional registry with a few items you truly need or want. This way, your family and friends can suggest these alternatives to guests who are not comfortable with giving money.

Setting up a honeymoon/house deposit fund

If you're looking to set up a honeymoon or house deposit fund in lieu of physical gifts, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is considered poor etiquette to ask for monetary gifts on your wedding invitations. Instead, you can include a separate card with your invitation suite that directs guests to your wedding website, where they can find more information about your registry preferences.

When creating your wedding website, be transparent and provide clear instructions for your guests. You can include a section for your "registry" and share details about why monetary gifts are your preference. For example, you could say something like: "We are saving for our dream home and hope to use this money as our down payment. We kindly request that you contribute to our house deposit fund in lieu of physical gifts."

Alternatively, if you're setting up a honeymoon fund, you can provide details about your travel plans and how guests' contributions will help create a memorable experience. Here's an example: "We're excited to embark on our honeymoon to Italy, and your contributions will help make it unforgettable. We've set up a honeymoon fund to cover experiences such as tickets to museums, romantic dinners, and excursions. We kindly request that you contribute to our honeymoon fund in lieu of physical gifts."

Remember to give guests a range of options to contribute, whether it's through a specific registry platform, cash, cheque, or online transfer. You can also ask your family members and close friends to spread the word about your preference for monetary gifts. This way, they can inform other guests who may inquire about gift ideas.

Poems to ask for money as a wedding gift

For Couples Who Already Live Together

We’ve lived together for a year or two,

We really don’t need anything new.

But if you were thinking of getting us a small gift,

Some money for our future wouldn’t go amiss.

For Couples Buying a New Home

As we’re getting married we thought it would be fun,

To move into a brand new home — we need to get it done.

As wedding gifts are bulky and we’re a little short on space,

Some money would be the ideal gift to help us buy our place!

For Honeymoon Contributions

We’ll be [husband and wife/ husband and husband/ wife and wife] for the rest of our life,

In our little home made for two.

But instead of a vase or a new kitchen knife,

We’d love to fly off to somewhere new.

A week on a beach would be ideal,

So instead of a gift, your contribution would help to buy us a hotel room or a romantic meal!

For Couples Funding Their Future Together

In joy and love, our hearts unite,

As we embark on this wondrous flight.

Your presence, dear, is our greatest delight,

But if you wish to gift, we have a simple invite.

With dreams to build and plans to grow,

A little cash would help us so.

For Newlyweds Starting a Family

On this beautiful day, as we say “I do,”

We’re grateful for each of you, and for all that you do.

As we begin our journey, hand in hand,

We hope to create a family so grand.

Instead of gifts wrapped in paper and bows,

We kindly ask for your help as we grow.

A monetary gift to help us start right,

Will help make our dreams shine so very bright.

Other Ideas

• Ask your family members and close friends to spread the word about your preference for cash gifts.
• Be specific about how you'll use the cash. For example, if you're saving for a big project like a new car or a home renovation, let your guests know.
• Use a cash or honeymoon registry website such as Honeyfund or Zola.
• Create a traditional registry with a small selection of items you really want.
• Set out a box for cards at the reception.

Frequently asked questions