The Art Of Addressing Wedding Invitations: Names And More

Wedding invitations are a chance to showcase your personal style and set the tone for your special day. While there are no hard and fast rules, certain traditions and etiquette guidelines can help you navigate the process of deciding whose names to include and in what order. Here's a quick overview to get you started on crafting the perfect wedding invitation.

Married couple with the same last name

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few conventions to follow. Firstly, it is important to consider the couple's preferences and feelings. While tradition may dictate one way, the couple may prefer a more modern or casual approach.

For a heterosexual couple, the outer envelope is typically formal and follows a specific structure. The outer envelope for a heterosexual couple with the same last name would be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. [Husband's Full Name]". For a same-sex couple, either name can go first. For example, "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren" for a heterosexual couple, or "Mr. and Mrs. Michelle Warren" for a same-sex couple.

The inner envelope is more informal and can omit certain elements of the formal name format. For the above example, the inner envelope could be addressed as "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle". If the couple prefers to have their names written out separately, the inner envelope could be addressed as "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren".

It is worth noting that some modern women may not appreciate having their names left out or combined with their husband's. In such cases, it is appropriate to address the outer envelope as "Mr. [Husband's First Name] [Shared Last Name] and Mrs. [Wife's First Name] [Shared Last Name]". The inner envelope can then follow the same format as the previous example.

When addressing a married couple with the same last name, it is also acceptable to use only their first and last names, without any titles, on both the outer and inner envelopes. This approach may be preferred for a more casual wedding or when the couple prefers a less formal style.

Married couple with different last names

When addressing a wedding invitation to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. Firstly, it's important to note that the outer and inner envelopes of the invitation usually follow different etiquette rules. The outer envelope is typically more formal, and you have a few options for how to address the couple:

• "Ms. [Bride's First Name] [Bride's Last Name] and Mr. [Groom's First Name] [Groom's Last Name]"
• "Mr. [Groom's First Name] [Groom's Last Name] and Mrs. [Bride's First Name] [Bride's Last Name]"

If the couple has different last names, you can list the names alphabetically, regardless of gender, starting with the person whose last name comes first. For the inner envelope, you can use a more informal format:

• "[Bride's First Name] and [Groom's First Name]"
• "Ms. [Bride's Last Name] and Mr. [Groom's Last Name]"

It's worth noting that modern etiquette dictates that you should consider the couple's preferences, especially if the bride has chosen to keep her maiden name. In this case, addressing the invitation in the same way you would for an unmarried couple is appropriate. Additionally, if the couple is sensitive to the traditional format, you can modify the phrasing to ensure both partners are addressed equally.

When addressing a married couple with different last names, it's essential to be consistent with name formats across all wedding stationery, including save-the-dates, invitations, and any other correspondence. This attention to detail will ensure your invitations are not only correct but also respectful of the couple's preferences.

Married couple with one hyphenated last name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with one hyphenated last name, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preference and the couple's feelings about their names.

If the wife has chosen to hyphenate her last name, the invitation can be addressed as follows:

Outer envelope: "Mr. [Husband's first name] [Hyphenated last name] and Mr. [Wife's first name] [Hyphenated last name]"

Inner envelope: "Mr. [Husband's last name] and Mr. [Wife's first name] [Hyphenated last name]" or " [Husband's first name] and [Wife's first name]"

For example, if the husband's name is Marcus Craft and the wife's name is Brian Crosby-Craft:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Craft and Mr. Crosby-Craft" or "Marcus and Brian"

Alternatively, you can use "Ms." or "Mrs." before the wife's name, depending on her preference. If you are unsure, “Ms.” is always correct when in doubt. The husband's name should come first, followed by the wife's name, with their shared hyphenated last name at the end.

Outer envelope: "Mr. [Husband's first name] [Hyphenated last name] and Ms./Mrs. [Wife's first name] [Hyphenated last name]"

Inner envelope: "Mr. [Husband's first name] and Ms./Mrs. [Wife's first name]"

For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Michael Jones and Ms./Mrs. Mary Smith-Jones"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Michael and Ms./Mrs. Mary"

If the couple is sensitive about the wife's name being included with the husband's, you can also write their names separately:

Outer envelope: "Mr. [Husband's first name] [Husband's last name] and Ms./Mrs. [Wife's first name] [Hyphenated last name]"

Inner envelope: "Mr. [Husband's first name] and Ms./Mrs. [Wife's first name]"

For example:

Outer envelope: "Mr. Brian Freeman and Mrs. Valerie Warrington-Freeman"

Inner envelope: "Mr. Brian and Mrs. Valerie"

If you are hosting a more casual, informal wedding, you can simply use the couple's first names, without any titles:

" [Wife's first name] and [Husband's first name] [Hyphenated last name]"

For example:

"Brian and Valerie Craft-Crosby"

Remember to consider the couple's preferences and feelings about their names, and don't be afraid to ask them if you are unsure.

Unmarried couple

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to include both guests' full names – first and last – on the invitation, even if you have never met the other partner. If you know both people in the relationship, there is no excuse for not including both names.

If the couple lives together, their names should be written on two separate lines, without a conjoining "and", as this signifies marriage. The person whom you are closest to should be listed first.

For example, the outer envelope could be addressed to:

"Mr. Stanley Kim

Ms. Amanda Rhee"

The inner envelope could be addressed to:

"Mr. Kim and Ms. Rhee" or "Stanley and Amanda"

If the unmarried couple does not live together, it is ideal to send a wedding invitation to each person. However, it has become more acceptable to send one invitation to the primary invited guest, including the other person's name on the inner envelope.

Single invitee

When addressing wedding invitations to single people, it's important to use their preferred title and spell out their full name, including their personal title, on the outer envelope. This is considered the traditional and formal way to address invitations. For example, "Ms. Ali Johnson" or "Mr. James Montgomery".

However, if you feel that personal titles may be restrictive and exclusive for your guest list, you can choose to forgo them and use only the first and last names. For instance, "Ali Johnson" or "James Montgomery".

If a single guest has been offered a plus one, it is not necessary to indicate this on the outer envelope. Instead, reserve the "and guest" language for the inner envelope only. For example, "Ms. Stephanie Chen" on the outer envelope and "Ms. Chen and guest" on the inner envelope.

The inner envelope is more informal, so you have the option to use only their first name or to include their personal title and last name.

Frequently asked questions