Junior Rasmussen
Wedding invitations are a chance to make your guests feel welcome and respected. While the world of wedding invitation etiquette can be a slippery slope, it's important to get it right. The way you address your wedding invitations will depend on the relationship status, honorific titles, and whether or not your guests are bringing a plus-one. Here's a guide to help you navigate the process and ensure your guests feel valued.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Envelope Format | Outer envelope: formal, full name(s) and title(s). Inner envelope: informal, first name(s) and/or title(s) and last name(s). |
| Married Couple | Same last name: "Mr. and Mrs. [husband's first name] [shared last name]". Different last names: "Ms. [wife's first name] [wife's last name] and Mr. [husband's first name] [husband's last name]". |
| Unmarried Couple | Names on separate lines without "and". Names on the same line connected by "and" if living together. |
| Single Person | "Ms." for women over 18, "Miss" for women under 18, "Mr." for men over 18, no title for men under 18. |
| Plus-One | "and Guest" on the inner envelope. |
| Family | Outer envelope: name(s) of parent(s). Inner envelope: name(s) of parent(s) and children. |
| Children | Under 18: "Master" for boys, "Miss" for girls. Over 18: separate invitations. |
| Distinguished Titles | Doctor: "Dr." or "Doctor". Judge: "The Honorable". Military: appropriate title. |
What You'll Learn
How to address wedding invitations to a married couple
When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is common to put their names on the same line. Secondly, if the couple has the same last name, you can use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For same-sex couples, either name can go first. If you'd like to address both partners equally, you can include both the husband's and wife's first and last names.
> Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren
Or, if you want to address both partners equally:
> Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren
For the inner envelope, you can use their first names or last names:
> Thomas and Michelle
>
> Mr. and Mrs. Warren
If the married couple has different last names, you can list either name first based on your preference, or whomever you are closest to. The "Mrs." title is traditionally used to indicate a woman's marital status:
> Mrs. Leslie Knope and Mr. Ben Wyatt
If one partner has a hyphenated name, list the hyphenated name last. Either "Ms." or "Mrs." can be used:
> Mr. Andy Dwyer and Ms. April Ludgate-Dwyer
If you are addressing a married couple with one person who is a doctor, list the doctor first, regardless of gender. You can choose to spell out "Doctor" or abbreviate it to "Dr." If the doctor is a woman and she has taken her husband's last name, reflect that in the address:
> Doctor Michaela Quinn and Mr. Byron Sully
>
> Doctor and Mrs. Perry Cox
If both partners are doctors, you can address them as "The Doctors" followed by their last name. Traditionally, the woman's name comes first:
> The Doctors Smith
>
> Doctors Monica and Alan Quartermaine
If both partners are doctors with different last names, the woman's name usually comes first, or you could list their names alphabetically:
> Dr. Meredith Grey and Dr. Derek Shepherd
For the inner envelope, you can use their titles and last names, or just their first names:
> Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd
>
> Meredith and Derek
In general, it is recommended to err on the side of formality when addressing wedding invitations. Avoid using nicknames or abbreviations, and ensure you use the correct titles or prefixes. If you are having a casual wedding, you may be able to get away with a less formal address, such as leaving off titles or using just first names.
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How to address wedding invitations to an unmarried couple
When addressing wedding invitations to an unmarried couple, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, the names should be written on separate lines, indicating that they are not legally married. The woman's name is typically written first, as is customary for social correspondence. However, you can choose to list the person you are closest to first or go in alphabetical order if you have no preference.
> Ms. Valerie Warrington
> Mr. Brian Freeman
If you want to include their addresses, you can do so on the next lines:
> Ms. Valerie Warrington
> Mr. Brian Freeman
> 612 Maple Lane
> Fairhope, Alabama 36000
For the inner envelope, you can simply use their titles and last names:
> Ms. Warrington
> Mr. Freeman
If you are inviting children as well, you can include their names below the adults' names on the inner envelope:
> Ms. Valerie Warrington
> Mr. Brian Freeman
> Anders Freeman
> Sue Freeman
If you prefer a more modern and less formal approach, you can use the "and" conjunction between the names, indicating a union of some sort. Here's how you can address the outer envelope in this case:
> Ms. Valerie Warrington and Mr. Brian Freeman
> 612 Maple Lane
> Fairhope, Alabama 36000
Remember to double-check the spelling of your guests' names and addresses before sending out the invitations.
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How to address wedding invitations to an individual
When addressing wedding invitations to an individual, there are a few things to keep in mind. Firstly, it is important to use the person's preferred title. If they are unmarried, use "Ms." for women and "Mr." for men. For those under the age of 18, use "Miss" for girls and no title for boys. If the guest identifies as non-binary, use the honorific "Mx." In cases where the guest is a widow or divorced woman, it is best to inquire about their preferred title and last name. They may prefer to be addressed using their married name, their husband's name, their maiden name, or "Ms."
Outer envelope: "Ms. Elizabeth Lemon" or "Miss Donna-Jo Tanner"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth"
Outer envelope: "Mr. George Costanza" or "Mr. Bart Simpson"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Costanza" or "George"
Outer envelope: "Mx. Courtney Andrews"
Outer envelope: "Mrs. Blanche Devereaux" or "Mrs. George Devereaux"
Inner envelope: "Mrs. Devereaux" or "Blanche"
For divorced or widowed women, you can use either "Mrs." or "Ms." followed by their married name, their ex-husband's name (if they still use it), or their maiden name, depending on their preference:
Outer envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Cookie Holloway"
If the individual is a judge, use the term "The Honorable" before their full name:
Outer envelope: "The Honorable Sonia Sotomayor"
If the guest is a priest, use the term "Father" before their full name:
Outer envelope: "Father Damien Karras"
When addressing the inner envelope, you can either drop the first name or use only the first name if you are very close with the individual:
Inner envelope: "Ms. Lemon" or "Elizabeth"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Costanza" or "George"
Inner envelope: "Mx. Andrews"
Inner envelope: "Mrs. Devereaux" or "Blanche"
Inner envelope: "Mrs./Ms. Lyon" or "Mrs./Ms. Holloway"
Remember to use full names on the outer envelope and avoid abbreviations or nicknames. For the inner envelope, you can be less formal and use first names if you are close with the individual.
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How to address wedding invitations with a guest
When addressing wedding invitations to guests, there are a few things to keep in mind to ensure you follow the correct etiquette. Firstly, it's important to use the complete, formal name of your guest. For example, "Uncle Steve" would be written as "Mr. Steven Lewis Nelson". Always write out the full name and avoid using initials or abbreviations.
If you are addressing an invitation to a friend with a plus-one, list your friend's name first, followed by their guest's full name on the line below. If you don't know the name of the plus-one, you can simply write "and guest". Remember to keep the "and" lowercase.
If you are addressing an invitation to a single person with a plus-one, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Only include the plus-one's name on the inner envelope, for example:
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
The same rules apply for a single male with a plus-one:
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Inner envelope: "Mr. Montgomery and guest" or "James and guest"
If you are sending your invitations in double envelopes (with inner envelopes), you can list your friend's formal name followed by "and guest" on the outer envelope, and then include the guest's name on the inner envelope.
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How to address wedding invitations without an inner envelope
If you've chosen wedding invitations without an inner envelope, you'll need to focus on properly addressing the outer envelope. Here are some tips and guidelines to ensure your invitations are addressed correctly and your guests feel welcome on your big day:
Formatting and Titles
The outer envelope should be formal. A foolproof option is to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. This works for couples of all genders, regardless of whether they share a surname, and still feels traditional. However, if personal titles feel restrictive for your guest list, you can forgo them and use first and last names only.
Remember to double-check each attendee's preferred personal titles beforehand if you plan on including them. For instance, "Mx." might be how a non-binary guest identifies.
Married Couple with the Same Last Name
For a heterosexual couple, use "Mr." and "Mrs." and spell out the husband's first and last name. For a same-sex couple, either name can go first.
Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"
Married Couple with Different Last Names
For a heterosexual couple, write their names on the same line with the woman's name first. If the combined names are too long, list them separately.
Outer envelope: "Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez"
Married Couple with One Hyphenated Last Name
In this case, the spouse has chosen to hyphenate their last name. The invitation should be addressed as follows:
Outer envelope: "Mr. Marcus Craft and Mr. Brian Crosby-Craft"
Unmarried Couple
Invitations to an unmarried couple living together are addressed to both people on one line. List the person you are closest to first, or go in alphabetical order.
Outer envelope: "Mr. Stanley Kim and Ms. Amanda Rhee"
Single Female
Use "Ms." if she is over 18. For those younger, use "Miss", spelling it out rather than abbreviating it.
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen" or "Miss Stephanie Chen" (if under 18)
Single Male
Use "Mr." if he is over 18. Otherwise, no title is necessary.
Outer envelope: "Mr. James Montgomery"
Plus-One or Guest
If a guest has a plus-one or is allowed to bring a casual date, reserve the "and guest" language for the inner envelope only. Do not capitalise "and" or "guest".
Outer envelope: "Ms. Stephanie Chen"
Inner envelope: "Ms. Chen and guest" or "Stephanie and guest"
Family, Including Children
When inviting an entire family, the family name or the parents' names should be listed on the outer envelope, and everyone can be included on the inner envelope.
Outer envelope: "The Thompson Family" or "Mr. and Mrs. Alan Thompson"
Inner envelope: "Alan, Emily, Roger, Chance, Miss Jennifer, and Miss Lily"
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