Etiquette Guide: Last Names On Wedding Invitations

Wedding invitation etiquette is a complex business, and there are many different ways to address your invitations. The traditional way to address a bride is with her first and middle name, but this can get confusing if parents' names are also listed and they have different last names. In this case, it's not unusual to include the bride's last name, too. If you're worried about guests not knowing who you are, it's perfectly acceptable to include your full name. If you're using a more modern approach, such as together with their families, it's also common to include both the bride and groom's full names.

Including bride's last name

Including the bride's last name on a wedding invitation is a way to honour tradition while also providing clear information to guests. Here are some tips and examples for achieving this:

Traditional Format

The traditional format for a wedding invitation involves including the bride's first, middle, and last names, followed by the groom's full name and title. This format is especially relevant if the bride's parents are hosting and funding the wedding. Here's an example:

"Julia Anne Smith & Mark Robert Jones request the honour of your presence at their wedding."

Modern Adaptations

While the traditional format is still common, modern adaptations are increasingly popular. One option is to use only the first and last names of the couple, excluding middle names. This creates a more contemporary feel while still adhering to tradition:

"Julia Smith & Mark Jones invite you to their wedding celebration."

Collaborative Events

If the wedding is a collaborative event hosted and funded by both the bride and groom's families, the invitation can begin with a statement reflecting this. The couple's names can then be included, followed by the wedding details:

"Together with their families, Jane Smith and Jack Brown invite you to celebrate their love. Join us for the wedding on Saturday, 12th of July, at 5:00 PM, at Coombe Lodge, Blagdon."

Deceased Parents

Including the name of a deceased parent on the invitation requires a slight adjustment to the traditional format. The bride or groom's name is listed first, followed by their parent's names, and then the wedding details:

"Ariana Smith, daughter of Mr. Austin Smith and the late Kristen Smith, requests your presence at her wedding to John Brown on the 12th of July."

Same-Sex Couples

For same-sex couples, the traditional rule of listing the woman's name first does not apply. The order of names can be chosen based on alphabetical order or what sounds best. Middle names can be included or omitted based on personal preference:

"Zara Taylor & Emily Johnson request the pleasure of your company at their wedding. Saturday, 24th of July, at 4:00 PM, at The Garden Hotel."

In conclusion, including the bride's last name on a wedding invitation can be achieved through various formats, allowing for both traditional and modern expressions. The provided examples offer a guide, and personalisation can always be incorporated to make the invitations unique and representative of the couple.

Married couple with the same last name

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with the same last name, there are a few options to consider, depending on your preferred level of formality. Here are some examples to illustrate the different ways you can word the invitations:

Formal Addressing

For a heterosexual couple, the traditional way to address the outer envelope is to use "Mr." and "Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For instance:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Warren"

If you prefer to include the wife's name, you can write:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. Thomas Warren and Mrs. Michelle Warren"

For the inner envelope, you can simply use their last name or write their first names:

> Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mrs. Warren" or "Thomas and Michelle"

Informal Addressing

If you want to go for a less formal approach, you can choose to leave out the titles and use first and last names only. This option gives you more flexibility in the order of names. Here's an example:

> Outer envelope: "Thomas Warren and Michelle Warren"

> Inner envelope: "Thomas and Michelle"

Alternatively, you can place the wife's name first as a modern twist on the traditional format:

> Outer envelope: "Mrs. Michelle Warren and Mr. Thomas Warren"

> Inner envelope: "Michelle and Thomas"

Same-Sex Married Couples

For same-sex married couples with the same last name, you can follow similar guidelines as above. Either name can go first, and you can choose to include or leave out the titles. Here's an example:

> Outer envelope: "Mr. and Mr. Adam Johnson" or "Ms. and Mrs. Emma Smith"

> Inner envelope: "Mr. and Mr. Johnson" or "Ms. and Mrs. Smith"

You can also opt for a more informal approach by using only their first names:

> Outer envelope: "Adam Johnson and Benjamin Carter" or "Emma Smith and Sophia Brown"

> Inner envelope: "Adam and Benjamin" or "Emma and Sophia"

Remember, these are just some common conventions, and you can adapt them to fit your preferences and the level of formality you desire.

Married couple with different last names

When addressing wedding invitations to a married couple with different last names, there are a few options to consider. The outer envelope should be formal and include the full names of both individuals, along with their personal titles. If the couple is heterosexual, the outer envelope can be addressed as follows:

> Ms. Maria Stevens and Mr. David Estevez

If the combined names are too long to fit on one line, you can list them separately:

> Ms. Maria Stevens

> Mr. David Estevez

For the inner envelope, you can use their first names only or include their personal titles and last names:

> Maria and David

> Ms. Stevens and Mr. Estevez

If you are equally close to both individuals, you can list their names alphabetically on the outer envelope, regardless of gender. For example:

> Ms. Adams and Mr. Sullivan

It is also acceptable to address the couple by their first names only on the outer envelope, especially if your wedding is casual:

> Maria Stevens and David Estevez

Remember to double-check the preferred personal titles and names of the invitees before finalising your wedding invitations.

Unmarried couple

When addressing wedding invitations to unmarried couples, there are a few etiquette rules to follow. Firstly, if the unmarried couple lives together, their names should be written independently on two lines without using the word "and". For example:

Mr. John Francis Smith

Ms. (or Miss) Anna Brown

If the unmarried couple does not live together, traditional etiquette suggests sending separate invitations to each individual. However, a more practical approach is to send an invitation only to the person you are closest to and include "and guest" on the inner envelope for their partner. This approach avoids potential awkwardness in case of a break-up before the wedding. If you feel this might offend the couple, you can address the invitation as you would for an unmarried couple living together.

When addressing the outer envelope, it is considered formal to write out the recipient's full name, including their personal title. However, if you feel that personal titles might be restrictive, you can simply use first and last names. For the inner envelope, you can be more informal, using personal titles and last names or just first names, depending on your preference.

Single invitees

When addressing wedding invitations to single people, it's important to use their preferred title and full name. If you're unsure about their preferred title, it's best to leave it out altogether.

Without a Plus-One

On the outer envelope:

• Ms. Ali Johnson
• Mr. James Montgomery

On the inner envelope:

• Ms. Johnson
• Mr. Montgomery

With a Plus-One

On the outer envelope:

• Mx. Sam Li
• Ms. Stephanie Chen

On the inner envelope:

• Sam Li and Guest
• Stephanie Chen and Guest

It's important to note that if you're offering a plus-one to a single invitee, you don't need to indicate this on the outer envelope. Reserve the "and Guest" language for the inner envelope only.

Additionally, if you're inviting a single person with a plus-one and you know the name of their significant other, you can include their name on both the outer and inner envelopes instead of "and Guest".

Also, if you're inviting a single person without a plus-one, but they have children, you can include their names on the inner envelope. For girls under 18, you can use "Miss" if you wish, while boys don't need a title until they're 16 and can be addressed as "Mr.".

Here's an example:

On the outer envelope: Ms. Audrey Abraham

On the inner envelope: Ms. Abraham, Miss Jennifer, and Mr. Jeffrey

Frequently asked questions