Calm Before The Storm: Best Man Speech Relaxation Techniques

Being a best man at a wedding is an honour, but it also comes with great responsibility. One of the biggest tasks is giving a memorable speech. It's completely normal to feel nervous about speaking in front of a room full of people, but there are several things you can do to relax beforehand. First, remember that the audience is on your side – they want you to do well and enjoy themselves. Second, practice your speech as much as possible. Third, visualise your speech going well and avoid negative thoughts. Fourth, remember that this is an opportunity to tell the couple and guests sincere, funny and cheeky things. Finally, take deep breaths before you begin – this will relax your body and keep your voice steady.

Practice makes perfect: Rehearse your speech multiple times, in front of a mirror or with a friend

Rehearsing your best man's speech in front of a mirror or with a friend is a great way to ease your nerves and ensure you give a confident, engaging performance. Here are some tips to make the most of your practice sessions:

Rehearse in front of a mirror

Rehearsing in front of a mirror is a popular way to practice public speaking. It allows you to observe your body language, facial expressions, and gestures, making any necessary adjustments. However, some people argue that this method can increase self-consciousness and distort your perception of yourself. If you choose to rehearse in front of a mirror, be mindful of its limitations and focus on your message and the audience, rather than getting caught up in your reflection.

Practice with a friend

Practicing your speech with a friend can provide valuable feedback and help you feel more comfortable delivering your speech. They can offer specific feedback on your body language, timing, and content. Additionally, they can point out areas where you can improve, such as pacing, tone, and eye contact. Practicing with a friend can also help you gauge the audience's reaction and make adjustments to your speech accordingly.

Rehearse multiple times

The more you practice your speech, the more comfortable and confident you will become. Run through your speech multiple times, aiming for at least three full rehearsals. This will help you familiarise yourself with the content, improve your delivery, and reduce nerves. Practicing multiple times will also allow you to refine your speech, adding or removing sections as needed.

Practice without memorising

While it's essential to know your speech well, avoid memorising it word-for-word. Instead, learn the key points and improvise around them. This will make your speech sound more natural and engaging. Use bullet points or index cards to guide you through the speech, rather than reading directly from a script. This will help you maintain eye contact with the audience and create a more dynamic performance.

Record your rehearsals

Recording your rehearsals, either on video or audio, can be incredibly beneficial. It allows you to review your performance and identify areas for improvement. You can analyse your body language, tone of voice, pacing, and eye contact. By watching or listening back to your rehearsals, you can fine-tune your delivery and make your speech even more impactful.

Remember, the key to a successful best man's speech is preparation. Practicing multiple times, whether in front of a mirror or with a friend, will help you feel more confident and ensure your speech is memorable for all the right reasons.

Avoid caffeine and alcohol: Stick to simple physical exercises and visualise your speech going well

How to Relax Before Your Best Man Speech

Avoid caffeine and alcohol

Caffeine and alcohol can increase anxiety and make you feel more nervous, so it's best to avoid them before your speech. Instead, stick to simple physical exercises and visualise your speech going well.

Simple physical exercises

Doing some light physical exercises can help to relax your body and calm your mind. Try some gentle aerobic exercises, such as walking or jogging, which can clear your mind and reduce stress. Even a 20-minute stroll can help. Alternatively, try some stretching exercises, such as yoga, which can relax your muscles and your mind.

Visualise your speech going well

Visualisation is a powerful tool to reduce public speaking anxiety. Instead of worrying about mistakes, try to visualise yourself giving a great speech. See the audience listening, nodding in agreement, and applauding at the end. This can help to lessen your anxiety and prepare your mind for a positive experience.

There are different types of visualisation that can help:

• Process visualisation: Visualise all the steps necessary to achieve a successful outcome. This includes preparing your speech, presenting to a normal audience with a range of reactions, and coping effectively with any problems that may arise.
• Rational visualisation: Visualise things going wrong and how you will deal with them. For example, if the data projector doesn't work, what will you do? Having a "Plan B" will make you feel more confident.

Remember, it's normal to feel nervous about public speaking, and the audience will be rooting for you. Practise your speech, get a good night's sleep, and stick to simple physical exercises and visualisation techniques to help you relax before delivering your best man speech.

Connect with the audience: Maintain eye contact, use hand gestures and express your emotions

Connect with the audience

Maintain eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful tool to establish rapport, credibility, and interest with your listeners. It shows that you are attentive, respectful, and confident. It also helps you gauge the reaction and feedback of your audience, and adjust your delivery accordingly.

• Before you start speaking, scan the room and acknowledge your audience with a smile or a nod.
• Look at each person or section for about three to five seconds, then move on.
• When emphasizing key points, transitions, and questions, use eye contact to draw attention.
• Don't spend too much time looking at your notes, slides, or the floor. If you need to glance at them, do it quickly and return to your audience.
• In a large audience, you may have to make audience contact instead of eye contact. Look at various areas where the audience members are seated to create the feeling that you are looking at them.
• Draw a smiley face on a notecard and tape it beside your camera to remind you to look at your audience if you are speaking online.

Use hand gestures

Hand gestures are a powerful tool for motivational speakers. They can help you express your emotions, emphasize your points, and connect with your audience.

• Ask yourself what you want to achieve with your gesture. Do you want to show confidence, enthusiasm, curiosity, or authority?
• Choose different types of gestures depending on your purpose. For example, use open gestures that show your palms and chest to convey confidence.
• Make sure your gestures complement and reinforce your words, and don't contradict or distract from them.
• Vary your range of motion, frequency, and intensity of your gestures to create contrast and dynamism.
• Your gestures should respect your own space and your audience's space. Be aware of how much space you have, how close or far you are from your audience, and how your gestures affect your posture and eye contact.
• Practice your speech with your gestures and make sure they are consistent and appropriate for your message.

Express your emotions

Public speaking is hard for most people, but it's even more stressful when it's at a wedding. Remember that it's okay to be nervous. The audience won't judge you for it, they'll warm to you and root for you.

• Don't think of it as a performance; think of it as an opportunity to tell the bride and groom and guests some sincere, funny, or cheeky things they'll enjoy hearing.
• Visualize yourself as someone that is a great speaker and is killing it.
• Take deep breaths and slow down. When you focus on breathing, you won’t focus on other things and you will relax.
• Open your speech by expressing gratitude. Thank the people that made the day possible and offer a toast to them.
• Tell a story. Share a funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing incident that you and the groom went through.
• Stay away from controversial topics and avoid talking about the groom’s past relationships.
• Keep your speech short and concise.

Keep it short and sweet: Aim for a maximum of 10 minutes, with a focus on quality over quantity

Keeping your speech short and sweet is a great way to ensure that your audience remains engaged and entertained. A best man's speech should ideally be no more than 1,000 words and 4-7 minutes long. This is because the guests will have already listened to other speeches and will be eager to move on to the next part of the wedding.

A short speech also makes it easier for you to keep the content memorable and of high quality. Focus on including only the most important and entertaining points, leaving out any unnecessary details. This will ensure your speech is concise and impactful, leaving a lasting impression on your audience.

To achieve this, you can use bullet points or cue cards with key messages, jokes, and quotes. This will help you stay on track and ensure your speech flows smoothly. Practising your speech beforehand will also help you refine the content and timing, making it more natural and engaging.

Remember, it's better to have a shorter, well-crafted speech that captures the attention of your audience and leaves them wanting more, than a long speech that loses their interest.

Be yourself: Don't try to be a stand-up comedian. Be sincere, personal and speak from the heart

It's natural to feel nervous before giving a best man's speech, but remember, this is a celebration and your role is to share your happiness for the newlyweds and add to the joy of the occasion. So, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that your presence is already a gift to the couple. Now, on to your speech! Remember, this isn't a stand-up comedy routine; it's a chance to be yourself and speak sincerely. Here are some tips to help you relax and deliver a heartfelt and authentic speech:

Firstly, accept that it's normal to feel nervous, but don't let those nerves take over. Channel those butterflies into something positive by seeing them as a sign of your excitement and eagerness to honor your friend. Remind yourself that everyone wants you to succeed and is on your side. Take a few moments to ground yourself, perhaps with a mindfulness exercise or some deep breathing, and visualize your speech going well.

Now, on to the content of your speech. Be yourself, and don't feel pressured to be a comedian. While it's great to include humor, don't force it if that's not your style. Instead, focus on being sincere and speaking from the heart. Share personal stories and anecdotes that showcase the groom's unique qualities and your friendship. Perhaps recall a time when the groom demonstrated his loyalty, kindness, or sense of humor. Be genuine, and your passion and emotion will shine through.

If you're naturally funny, then by all means, inject some humor, but don't feel the need to perform. Keep it light and friendly, and avoid any jokes that might be considered offensive. Remember, the goal is to celebrate the couple and make the audience feel included, not alienated. If you're more on the serious side, that's fine too! Your speech can be heartfelt and meaningful, focusing on the couple's love story and your wishes for their future.

The key is to be authentic and true to yourself. The audience will respond to your sincerity and appreciate your unique perspective. So, relax, be yourself, and speak from the heart. Your best man's speech will be memorable because of your honesty and passion, not because of forced jokes or a stand-up routine. Enjoy this special moment, and remember to savor the experience!

Frequently asked questions