Best Man Speech: Guide To Writing A Memorable Toast

Being chosen as the best man at a wedding is a huge honour, but it also comes with a lot of responsibility. One of your main duties is to deliver a memorable speech that celebrates the groom and the happy couple. It's a chance to share your insights about the groom's character, celebrate their unique love story, and create a lasting memory for them.

Writing a great best man speech requires careful planning, personal touches, and confident delivery. Here are some tips to help you craft and deliver an outstanding speech:

- Start by writing down all your thoughts, feelings, and memories about the groom.

- Use a template as a guide to structure your speech. Include an introduction, anecdotes, heartfelt moments, and a concluding toast.

- Share stories and anecdotes about the groom that showcase their character and your relationship.

- Add personal touches by sharing what the groom means to you and how they have impacted your life.

- Practice your speech multiple times to build confidence and reduce nerves.

- Keep your speech concise, engaging, and tailored to the couple and the audience.

- Include the bride in your stories and make sure to wish the couple well.

- Be mindful of cultural sensitivity, venue dynamics, and audience demographics.

Choosing a theme

A good way to identify your theme is by making a list of your favourite stories about the groom. Think about every story, anecdote or event that involves the groom and jot them down. Ask yourself:

• When did you first meet?
• What was their nickname at school?
• What have they gotten into trouble for?
• What triumphs or tribulations have they faced?
• What ridiculous hobbies, interests or fashion trends have they followed?

Once you have a list of stories, look for the common thread that ties them together. This could be the groom's love of sports, college, vacations, a mutual love of running, or any other topic that keeps coming up.

For example, if you decide that your friendship with the groom can be summed up by your shared love of sports, your theme could be "sports and friendship." This theme would be reflected in the stories you choose to include in your speech, as well as in the overall message you want to convey.

Another example could be choosing a theme of "overcoming challenges" if the groom has faced and overcome significant obstacles in their life. In this case, your stories and message would focus on the groom's resilience and ability to persevere.

Remember, the theme of your speech should ultimately be something that celebrates the couple's relationship and highlights the groom's positive qualities. It should also be a theme that you can easily weave into your speech, keeping it lighthearted, sincere, and engaging for the audience.

Opening lines

The opening lines of your best man speech are crucial for grabbing the audience's attention and setting the tone. Here are some tips and examples to help you craft a compelling and engaging introduction:

• Introduce yourself with a twist: Instead of a standard introduction, add a bit of spice or humour to it. For example, "Good evening, if you don't know me by now, then you're probably at the wrong wedding. I am, of course, [your name], and I've been best friends with [groom] for 25 years".
• Crack a joke: It's a wedding, and people are there to celebrate and have a good time. Try to get the crowd laughing within the first 30 seconds with a joke or a corny one-liner. For instance, "Hello, I'm the best man [your name]. This entire day has been beautiful so far. In fact, I'm getting emotional. The wedding cake has me in tiers".
• Be hilarious with a straight face: Deliver something absurd while maintaining a serious tone, and you'll get the audience giggling in no time. For example, "Good evening, I am [your name], the best man and [relationship to groom] of [name of groom]. Tonight we're in a room full of great men—doctors, lawyers, military veterans, and successful businesspeople—yet I am the 'best.' His words, not mine".
• Introduce a recurring theme: Choose an overall theme or topic for your speech, such as sports, college, vacations, or a mutual interest. Use your first story related to this theme as your opener.
• Ask a question: Instead of providing all the answers, embrace the mystery and intrigue your audience with a question. For example, "Good evening. My name is [your name] and I've known [groom] for more than [#] years. As I was preparing this toast, one question consistently rang in my mind: How do I summarise a friendship that has lasted since we [when you met]? Believe it or not, [groom] was [name a quirk or characteristic about him] back then, too".
• Read a definition: Look up a word that defines the couple's relationship and share it with the audience. It can be serious, funny, or even a made-up definition. For instance, "Google's second definition of the word 'love' says, 'A great interest and pleasure in something or someone.' I think this is beautiful and an understatement when I think of [bride] and [groom]'s marriage. Although I was a little concerned when, under the definition, the word 'love' was used in a sentence as 'His love for football.' Hmm, strange...".
• Tell a story of how you met the groom: Chances are, you have a good story about the first time you met or a funny early memory together. It could be how you became friends, how you were always there for each other, or even a story about one of you saving the other from an embarrassing situation. For example, "I first met [groom] back in St. David's High School. He was team captain, head boy, and always the most popular person to be around. We all imagined he'd go on to play for England. Fast forward a few decades, I'm not sure where it all went wrong?".
• Be traditional: There's nothing wrong with a classic introduction. Simply welcome the guests, introduce yourself, and explain your connection to the couple. You can add a bit of humour by sharing a quick joke or quoting a poem. For example, "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous".

Remember, the key to a great opening line is to capture the audience's attention, set the tone, and give them a glimpse of what's to come. Be creative, be yourself, and most importantly, have fun with it!

Including the bride

Acknowledge the Bride

Take a moment at the beginning of your speech to mention any special guests and acknowledge the bride. This is a great opportunity to share a sincere compliment and set a positive tone for the rest of your speech. For example, "It's an honour to be the best man today and I couldn't be happier to see my friend so happy. You look absolutely stunning, and the whole wedding party is here to celebrate your love. [Groom], you've done better than any of us could have expected!"

Share Stories About the Bride

In addition to sharing stories about the groom, include some about the bride as well. These stories should be funny, heartwarming, and embarrassing, showcase the bride's incredible qualities. For example, "I'll never forget the time [Bride] organised a surprise birthday party for [Groom]. She spent weeks planning every detail, from the guest list to the decorations. And on the big day, she even managed to keep him distracted while we all snuck into their flat. That's just the kind of thoughtful and fun-loving person she is."

Compliment Her Appearance

Find a way to compliment the bride's appearance, even if you don't know much about fashion. You can say something simple like, "When [Bride] first walked down the aisle, the whole room gasped. She looks absolutely breathtaking and like a real-life princess. [Groom], I don't know how you managed to keep your cool!"

Highlight the Bride's Positive Impact on the Groom

Talk about how the groom has changed for the better since meeting the bride. Mention specific ways in which the bride has helped him grow and expand his horizons. For example, "Since meeting [Bride], [Groom] has stepped up and become the best version of himself. He's happier, healthier, and finally dressing his age. All thanks to her influence and support."

Direct Well-Wishes to the Couple

Make sure to address the couple directly and wish them a happy future together. This is your chance to share heartfelt sentiments and express your genuine emotions. For example, "I can see how happy you have made my old friend, and I know just how much of a support you've been to him through tough times. You are a great couple, and I look forward to many more happy times together in the future."

Remember, the key to including the bride in your best man speech is to be sincere, positive, and focus on celebrating the couple's relationship. Keep in mind that the wedding day is ultimately about the bride, so avoid saying anything that might upset her. With these tips, you'll be well on your way to delivering a memorable and thoughtful speech that honours both the groom and the bride.

Sharing stories

Choose the Right Stories:

Select anecdotes that are funny, heartwarming, or embarrassing. These stories should showcase the groom's personality and your unique relationship with him. Think about your most memorable moments together and how they reflect his best qualities.

Include the Bride:

While the focus is often on the groom, it's important to include the bride in your stories as well. Talk about how they met, the positive impact she has had on the groom, and why they are a great couple. This will make your speech more inclusive and show your support for their relationship.

Structure Your Stories:

Organize your stories to have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Set up the context, develop the narrative with interesting details, and conclude with a punchline or a heartfelt moment. This structure will make your stories more engaging and ensure they have a strong impact on the audience.

Balance Humor and Sentiment:

Your stories should strike a balance between humor and genuine emotion. Make the audience laugh, but also touch their hearts. This combination will create a dynamic speech that resonates with everyone.

Practice and Refine:

Don't underestimate the power of practice. Rehearse your stories multiple times to refine their delivery and improve your confidence. Practice in front of a mirror, with friends, or even record yourself to get feedback and make necessary adjustments.

Be Mindful of Time:

Keep your stories concise and to the point. A long-winded story can lose the attention of your audience. Edit your stories to include only the most relevant and entertaining details. A well-paced, shorter story often leaves a stronger impression than a longer one that drags on.

Connect the Stories:

Try to create a natural flow between your stories. Use connecting phrases and thematic links to transition smoothly from one anecdote to the next. This will help your speech feel cohesive and easy to follow.

Remember, the stories you share should ultimately celebrate the groom and his relationship with the bride. By choosing the right stories and delivering them effectively, you'll be able to create a best man speech that is both entertaining and memorable.

Keeping it lighthearted

Keeping your best man speech lighthearted is a great way to go—and it's often expected that the best man will deliver a funny speech. Here are some tips for keeping things light and fun.

Open with a Joke

A great way to start your speech is with a joke or a funny anecdote. This will help you capture the audience's attention and put them in a good mood. Just make sure the joke is clean and won't offend the couple or their family members. You could say something like:

> "Hello, I'm the best man. This entire day has been beautiful so far. In fact, I'm getting emotional. The wedding cake has me in tiers."

Keep it Short

Best man speeches should be kept short and sweet—around 3 to 5 minutes is a good length. This will help ensure that you don't lose the attention of your audience and that you only include the most important and entertaining parts.

Share a Lighthearted Story

Sharing a funny story about the groom is a great way to keep your speech lighthearted. It could be about how you met, a funny memory from your childhood, or a silly experience you had together. Just make sure the story is appropriate and won't embarrass the groom. You could say something like:

> "I first met Jeff when we were kids. He always carried the eggs and toilet paper for our pranks, and then instructed me where to throw them. But you can guess who always took the blame for his antics..."

Compliment the Couple

While it's important to focus on the groom, don't forget to say something nice about the couple as a pair. You could compliment their relationship, highlight how the bride has positively impacted the groom, or simply wish them a happy future together. For example:

> "Jeff and Anne are a perfect pair, and it seriously warms my heart to see a couple so amazingly in love. They complement each other in every way and radiate joy when they are together. Please join me in raising our glasses to a lifetime of happiness for Jeff and Anne!"

Avoid Inappropriate Topics

When you're writing your speech, be mindful to avoid topics that could be considered inappropriate. This includes ex-partners, drugs, alcohol, insecurities, financial or personal information, and anything else that could be seen as offensive. Stick to lighthearted and positive topics to keep the mood of your speech upbeat.

Frequently asked questions